Mental state of ones mind

[LoneWolfSeth]

Has anyone had there relationship ruined due to mental health problems?  In my case I'm bi-polar/manic-depressive and at times get into a depressed state where I can't do anything not even a simple several second text to say hi.  Other times I get the thoughts in my head that there isn't anyone out there willing to date me let alone have a bdsm relationship with me

[TemptressM]

Mental Health issues are actually quite big in this lifestyle and there are support groups around if you look, even on here there are other threads about support. 

As far as a relationship goes, yes it is possible but you need to find someone that is understanding of your situation and also be able to tell them when you are having a bad time.  There is nothing worse than having someone go cold fish on you and being left worrying about them.  

So be upfront about it and make sure that they understand your bad days.

[LittleStar13]

Mental health is big in LS. I have lost a few relationships both kinky and regular due to my own menatal health. I've learned that If someone cares truly about you, nothing will get in the way. My submissive and myself both have depression, PTSD and incredible self esteem issues. We've both been open and honest. The right person will stay right by you good days and the difficult ones. Sending you some good vibes! ❤ remember you ARE worthy of love!

[Deleted Member]

Mental health is getting to be a huge issue not only in kink but in mainstream society in general. I think most of us at one time or another have had issues, for me a lot I feel now was the feeling of total isolation and a complete lack of understanding of what I was., who I really was., confusion of self if you like. Since I've found myself and this site in particular where I can seek advice without judgment amongst those who are the same, blow off steam through threads such as this the improvement in how I feel about myself has been dramatic. We are all so so different and feel so much in so many different ways the knowledge I am not alone has helped so much. Bravo on broaching the subject especially with being a bloke, so many of us see it as weakness to feel sad, we bottle it up, let that poison build inside until it becomes overwhelming and talking as you are now, helps I think deal with that sadness. You are not alone 😊

[ey****]

In short.  Yes.

There is a lot more support available than seem and this is something where if you recognise the problem you can seek help for it - people are generally more able/willing to support someone with MH issues who is looking for help than those who place an emotional baring on them.  This is something you can work with someone on a potential relationship - but remember your Dom/sub/partner is not your therapist. 

[Clairie34]

I absolutely know how you feel, I suffer a lot with depression and anxiety. Usually always triggered by how I look. I lack self confidence and because I see a problem with myself I automatically assume others to do to. I’m now in the process of doing something about my issue. Luckily I have a master who couldn’t be more supportive if he tried, I tell him as soon as I am having a “bad” day. Even tho I don’t want to burden him with my problems he almost demands that I talk to him. He comforts me as much as he can, 9 times out of 10 he makes me feel better about whatever is going on In my head. I’ve have never had someone so supportive not even my ex husband who I was with for 13 years, or any partner after him.

I suppose my point is that there is someone out there that will support you especially on your down days. And like mentioned above this community is brilliant for support if you can’t get it anywhere else.

Chin up duck we are all here to for you x

[Th****]

Depression is as big an issue in the BDSM lifestyle as it is in the rest of western society. In other words it is huge. Anyone who has dealt with depression will know that on those bad days you or any one else has enough trouble just functioning.

The key is there is a huge difference between how you see your self and how someone who loves you sees you. You will see all of your flaws and they will see all the things that they love about you and are so enthralled they do not notice or look through the flaws.

When it comes to being bi-polar, of course that is fine. You may, if you have not already, wish to seek professional help as there are some excellent medications available that may make you life a whole lot easier.

Whether Dominant or submissive we owe it to our relationships to take steps to come to the table as well as is possible for our own particular situation.
As @eyemblacksheep said your BDSM partner can not be expected to be a mental health professional.

Never the less no matter how together we look my friend we will all go through some degree of trauma and residual mental health issues in our lives and most probably some depression as well.
Granted not as severe as full blown depression that is resistant to medication but still equally valid to the person experiencing it.

You can do this.. You will see light at the end of that tunnel.. And someone will love you for who you are and not what your mental health is like.
Hang in there you are doing great. This was a big step, well done.

[Leisa]

I too am bipolar and it’s not an easy road to navigate. Have you sought help and been out on medications? I ask because being stable helps a great deal. I’ve been medication compliant for almost 2 years now and it has made a huge difference in my life. It keeps me from going into either a manic state or a depressive state. Someone out there will love you for exactly who you are and not a medical condition you didn’t ask for and don’t want. My Sir is completely understanding of my condition and encouraging. Like my Sir Thebian said, someone will love you for who you are and not your flaws of which I have many. Best of luck.

[Leisa]

I too am bipolar and it’s not an easy road to navigate. Have you sought help and been out on medications? I ask because being stable helps a great deal. I’ve been medication compliant for almost 2 years now and it has made a huge difference in my life. It keeps me from going into either a manic state or a depressive state. Someone out there will love you for exactly who you are and not a medical condition you didn’t ask for and don’t want. My Sir is completely understanding of my condition and encouraging. Like my Sir Thebian said, someone will love you for who you are and not your flaws of which I have many. Best of luck.

[Ta****]

Yes.  Without going into details, I lost my husband tragically due to mental health issues.  It's a very big problem in today's society unfortunately.  And it ,looks as if it might get bigger, owing to the Covid lockdowns and long isolation many people have experienced.  As for me, I have been so used to living on my own over the past number of years, that perhaps it has helped to make things a little easier for me.  But when it comes to mental illnesses and depression, I am no less *** than anyone else.