Ma**** Posted July 10 "Speak to people of other genders, learn from their experiences assuming that they're willing to share"...."you have Google, probably AI or smart tech of some description"....what? I'm soo confused at this hypocrisy.
Ma**** Posted July 10 I know i can use both, but right now I'm trying to ask people a question and it is being ignored. Google or AI can't answer this one I'm afraid.
Th**** Posted July 10 2 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said: a lot of this is also completely and utterly irrelevant to the OP. Yes but there was also a more or less direct path in conversation. It's a more natural course than many of the earliest responses were. "Being pegged" is not relevant to "what's exciting about talking to a Domme"
CopperKnob Posted July 10 3 minutes ago, ManchesterDom98 said: "Speak to people of other genders, learn from their experiences assuming that they're willing to share"...."you have Google, probably AI or smart tech of some description"....what? I'm soo confused at this hypocrisy. Hypocrisy or providing alternate suggestions of spaces in which you can learn, after all, you're wanting to level the playing field. Right? . Eyems right it's off topic. You arent willing to consider perspectives that differ to your own so this isn't the right forum in which to ask your question.
Ma**** Posted July 10 Ahh yes the white male card too. Yes, I am a white male....what did you mean by that? Was that racist? Are you assuming just because I'm a white male some of us don't struggle to access to education?
Th**** Posted July 10 Just now, ManchesterDom98 said: Ahh yes the white male card too. Yes, I am a white male....what did you mean by that? Was that racist? Are you assuming just because I'm a white male some of us don't struggle to access to education? It means there's an inherent power imbalance. Just as there's an inherent power imbalance in vanilla relationships between men and women in society.
ey**** Posted July 10 2 minutes ago, ThaliaV said: Yes but there was also a more or less direct path in conversation. It's a more natural course than many of the earliest responses were. "Being pegged" is not relevant to "what's exciting about talking to a Domme" oh absolutely though we've gone to "this is my opinion - I won't change my mind - but I'm gonna continue to argue the toss over it" (though, ahem, there's having an opinion and there's being wrong)
Ma**** Posted July 10 6 minutes ago, CopperKnob said: Hypocrisy or providing alternate suggestions of spaces in which you can learn, after all, you're wanting to level the playing field. Right? . Eyems right it's off topic. You arent willing to consider perspectives that differ to your own so this isn't the right forum in which to ask your question. No need for the white male card though...not needed at all. I have remained so calm and respectful throughout our conversations and you use that. No, that is really not fair and really not okay.
Th**** Posted July 10 9 minutes ago, ManchesterDom98 said: "Speak to people of other genders, learn from their experiences assuming that they're willing to share"...."you have Google, probably AI or smart tech of some description"....what? I'm soo confused at this hypocrisy. 8 minutes ago, ManchesterDom98 said: I know i can use both, but right now I'm trying to ask people a question and it is being ignored. Google or AI can't answer this one I'm afraid. It's not hypocrisy, it's being told "I'm not going to do the work for you because you're already not listening."
Ma**** Posted July 10 45 minutes ago, ManchesterDom98 said: No, my point is, a submissive should always feel able to speak up. If a dom has made a submissive feel like that, feel like they can't speak up. Then that in my opinion, is disgusting. A submissive should always feel safe around their dominant and should always be able to speak to their dominant at any time...in a scene or out of one. ^ this is my whole point. This is all I have been trying to say. I haven't intended for this to spread as far as it has. Please, this is hopefully going to be my last comment of this. This is all I wanted to say, including that I do believe submissives do hold all the power..I didn't know people were going to react like this. You say I haven't listened but I have...I have read your comments and listened. This is honestly all I wanted to say ^
ey**** Posted July 10 But it lacks nuance and also shows inexperience it deflects the responsibility onto the submissive when the Dominants is *supposed* to be in control. This doesn't mean the submissive has NO responsibility, but they're not the one wielding the stick/flogger/whatever
Ma**** Posted July 10 7 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said: But it lacks nuance and also shows inexperience it deflects the responsibility onto the submissive when the Dominants is *supposed* to be in control. This doesn't mean the submissive has NO responsibility, but they're not the one wielding the stick/flogger/whatever As a dominant...in my sessions, I check in with my submissive around every 15 - 20 mins during a session with the traffic light system...alot more frequent when some other kinks and types of play are involved. That is my responsibility...however, when I check in with my submissive and she doesn't respond because she feels unable too. Then that is a problem and needs to be acknowledged because they are unable to communicate and could lead to unsafe play due to that lack of communication. Okay, now that is my final point.
ey**** Posted July 10 if you are proactively checking in, and making a call based on her response - then you are taking control.
Ma**** Posted July 10 Not saying Red when it genuinely is too much is a problem. If a submissive is unable to communicate that this is too much for her then that is a problem for the dominants self control, but equally a lack of communication from the submissives part. Not saying stop, or red.
Ma**** Posted July 10 3 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said: if you are proactively checking in, and making a call based on her response - then you are taking control. Yes. But without the submissive at a male doms feet who would we take control from? Without a submissive, who would submit to Me? Without a submissive who would a male dominant have to control? If the submissive is gone, so is the dominants power.
ey**** Posted July 10 3 minutes ago, ManchesterDom98 said: Yes. But without the submissive at a male doms feet who would we take control from? Without a submissive, who would submit to Me? Without a submissive who would a male dominant have to control? If the submissive is gone, so is the dominants power. among anything you know this is a thread aimed at male subs? But - you're basically saying "we take control" - yes, when you take control you have control - you are in control and are overarched responsible.
Ma**** Posted July 10 4 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said: among anything you know this is a thread aimed at male subs? But - you're basically saying "we take control" - yes, when you take control you have control - you are in control and are overarched responsible. Yes I do. But you are missing the whole point of the submissive needing to communicate with the dominant...who is in control...to make sure, that they control the scene safely and give their signs when things are too much. Submissives also have a responsibility too, that is what I am trying to highlight here.
Ma**** Posted July 10 I cannot be more clearer. Submissives have a responsibility to say their safe words when things are too much and communicate effectively so their dominant doesn't end up hurting them.
Ma**** Posted July 10 The dominant can't control that. The dominant cannot feel the amount of *** the submissive is in, they can see the effects but if the submissive doesn't communicate their safe word and makes no communication that it is too much, it cannot be fully blamed on the dominant if the scene turns sour and someone gets hurt.
Th**** Posted July 10 (edited) 38 minutes ago, ManchesterDom98 said: ^ this is my whole point. This is all I have been trying to say. I haven't intended for this to spread as far as it has. Please, this is hopefully going to be my last comment of this. This is all I wanted to say, including that I do believe submissives do hold all the power..I didn't know people were going to react like this. You say I haven't listened but I have...I have read your comments and listened. This is honestly all I wanted to say ^ I promise you that neither myself or @CopperKnobare attacking you, that's not the intent, we're trying to explain how saying that the submissive holds the power leaves room for harm. She may have tossed you a bit of snark out of frustration but she's not actually a jerk for the sake of it. Edited July 10 by ThaliaV
Ma**** Posted July 10 9 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said: among anything you know this is a thread aimed at male subs? But - you're basically saying "we take control" - yes, when you take control you have control - you are in control and are overarched responsible. No what I am saying is that without submissives we would not have anyone to take power or control from...dominants and submissives go hand in hand, but remove all the submissives then no dominants have power. See?
ge**** Posted July 10 35 minutes ago, ManchesterDom98 said: ^ this is my whole point. This is all I have been trying to say. I haven't intended for this to spread as far as it has. Please, this is hopefully going to be my last comment of this. This is all I wanted to say, including that I do believe submissives do hold all the power..I didn't know people were going to react like this. You say I haven't listened but I have...I have read your comments and listened. This is honestly all I wanted to say ^ No-one but no-one here has suggested a submissive shouldn't have a voice, or be able to speak up - you're quite right, a dominant that expects them not to is one to steer clear of. . What people are disagreeing with you about is the "submissives hold all the power" trope you reeled out - which is naive at best. As I said above, reality is both submissive and dominant should hold the power equally between them.
ey**** Posted July 10 (edited) 2 minutes ago, ManchesterDom98 said: remove all the submissives then no dominants have power. See? by that logic remove the Dominant and the submissive has no power. See. Edited July 10 by eyemblacksheep
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