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Is kink identity fixed or fluid? Can it change over time?”


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I'd definitely say it's more fluid then fixed

I’ve been a Dom since I was in my ***s. At 46, I’m still a Dom and have never entertained the idea of submitting. Imagine finding yourself in a long term relationship with someone who is in one role and a year in they might desire to try on your role. That wouldn’t work for me. I don’t even look at profiles with switch in them because I’m looking for a 24/7 submissive, but not everyone is as rigid as I am.

Your identity is usually fixed with your nature more than anything else. For example, if you're curious and an explorer you at least want to try everything once or twice. But if you're not an adventurous person you stick to whatever you like without knowing or trying how it feels on the other side of the spectrum.

I would say it depends on your personality more than generalizations 😘
No identity is stagnant with time and experience.
Kink is what you like. It can change with time as you discover new things you enjoy and are into.
I’ve heard Doms saying they had just been doing that because it’s easier to find a female sub than a female Domme, and then discover their sub side more strongly. Some can shift over time, or have a hidden desire to try something else that just hasn’t been fulfilled yet. But I do think there are some who are just wired to be one or the other and I can’t imagine their personalities flexing enough to allow change.
There are not enough Domme ladies about! Lots and lots of sub males looking for one. I’d love there to be a Domme chat room to help ladies branch out and try it. It’s amazing fun!
My personal preference is Iv always felt like I’m better suited as a submissive, when having such a high demanding personal life and professional life I feel like I don’t want to have to make decisions when I’m with a partner 🤷‍♀️
100% fluid. Just how any part of identity is fluid. And it's always so much fun discoving something new
I don't think there is such a thing as kink identity, and I would be surprised if people ever identified as their kinks. With that said, whether you like to be at the receiving end or giving end of the kinks, it tends to demote whether you are submissive, dominant or switch in nature. I believe some people may wrongly assume that they are sub or dominant at some point or their life and over time discover their true nature, learn to know themselves better despite societal influences. The role they take when they play is just a reflection of their nature, which nature is strongly influenced by a inherited temperament and learned behaviors. Someone's true nature doesn't change all that much over time but it happens that people are unsure what role is best suited for them and prefer to explore. Personally, as a guy, I know what makes my boy down there happy and my role has never changed. I learned to like some new kinks though and I am curious to try some new ones sometimes. But at the end of the day, most of my kinks are actually fetishes and I don't think those can be wiped out ever, and it binds me into a submissive role, albeit I have a bit an assertive nature.
I think it is conceivable that some people develop a kink and get tired of it over time and prefer to explore different kinks but I think for most kinks stay with a person near permanently, they always kind of like it, with the right person, even if they see themselves as switches. It is my humble opinion.
I definitely feel it’s fluid. There’s partners I’ve had that have introduced me to new kinks I didn’t think I had and maybe didn’t enjoy 100% of, but ended up integrating certain aspects that resonated
My kinks have definitely evolved as I've experienced more things. I've always been very dominant or described as "bossy" pero I also enjoy not having to think and someone instead telling me what to do, I can do, etc. Even the way I got into the lifestyle was because I was with someone who was already in (barely) and wanted us to explore together. Now things I was hesitant to experience are things I love and need during scenes or more intimate moments with less focus on roles.
Oh definitely it can change i used to be totally sub then became domme af now I'm pretty switch
  • 2 months later...
Things can change for a variety of reasons: Knowledge, you find out the Kink wasn't quite what you thought. Experience, like Experimentation. Stress, it can reveal what you need for Comfort, so maybe you aren't as Dominant or Switchy as you thought. Maturity, you find that you're not into risky or other kinks anymore. Etc.
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