What does your masochism or sadism mean to you?

[Deleted Member]

Whether you identify as a Masochist, sadist, sadomasochist... what does it mean to you?

I had a lengthy conversation last night after some impact play about what masochism and sadism means. (To clarify, I'm specifically talking about consensual sexual sadomasochism, not things like sexual sadism disorder or self harm).

I will always say that I don't enjoy the ***. That its the whole experience that turns me on. But when i think about it, the more I see my own fallacy. After impact play, I'm very highly aroused, happy, and 'subby'. The feeling of a belt (or any impact tool) being wielded by the man in control, the way my own giggling makes him smile. I squeal and laugh and squirm and play because it's fun. The ***? Not so fun. But that's where that other part of me comes in. The part that rises to a challenge. 'Can I take more', 'does this hurt too much?'. The anticipation of being hurt again. The relief as the *** fades quickly. The shock and surprise of each hard hit. My *** threshold is quite high, so I can take more and more. And I want to see how far I can be pushed, how far the Dom will take me.

Everything all together creates scenes that I feel so comfortable in. Because inside, I know I can take it. But at the same time I wonder when it will become too much. That can be addictive to me. Finding the next extreme or the next thing to try.

So no, the *** for me isnt the be all and end all. It's the whole scene, the whole experience. The fact that I am being hurt by a man that is enjoying it, makes me enjoy it. Knowing I am doing good, that's another addictive feeling. I revel in trying to take my body further for another. To make them proud. Not because of how much it hurts, and not just because it turns me on. Sometimes it is a release for me, to feel those things- make that person proud- and be able to take such ***. Maybe it's some kind of validation for me.

But.. catch me the day after impact and I guarantee I'm getting off whilst I grind the tender spots from the play into the sofa. Or poking the bruises.

So, what does your sadomasochism feel like to you?

[Wo****]

So perfectly put, no need to add anything.

[Deleted Member]

21 minutes ago, Bounty said:

So perfectly put, no need to add anything.

I'm glad you think so, so many people get caught up on the *** aspect whereas it's so much more.

[Leisa]

For me the ***, whether it be from impact play or nipple ***, combined with Sir’s commanding voice are what put me into my subspace. I am a hard core masochist and can take and enjoy whatever he feels appropriate to dish out. It’s what makes me turned on and brings about orgasm. That being said, it is the total complete experience. My end goal is to hear him tell me good girl and that he’s proud of me. It’s the after care entered into immediately after the scene is completed that brings me back to myself. It’s the tender spots the next day that remind me of what a great time was had and makes me strive to do even better that night for the next scene. While we play virtually every day on the days following a particularly hard scene we do take it a bit less *** intensive. Regardless of the level of intensity and *** I know he does it because I love it and he does it because he loves not just the powerful control but me as well.

[Deleted Member]

40 minutes ago, Leisa said:

Regardless of the level of intensity and *** I know he does it because I love it and he does it because he loves not just the powerful control but me as well.

This. ❤ it works the other way around too- enjoyment from your end because you know he loves doing it for those reasons. Thankyou, it sounds like you a have an awesome connection xx

[Deleted Member]

Sadism for me is an expression of the self. It's something that I feel is an essential part of who I am that lays dormant until I let that part go. That last part of letting go, is exactly that: releasing a part of me, somewhat ***istic but tempered and disciplined, on a willing entity that allows me to do what I do within agreed boundaries (if there are to be any). I enjoy inflicting *** on the bodies of those who willfully give it to me to do as I wish. Once that switch is flicked on, I come to life.



I observe my version of Sadism in various ways: the sonic, the physical and the mental. The sonic begins with the body. I view the body as a musical instrument: my tools and methods of *** a way of tuning and producing sounds that are much alike to a musician and their musical instrument. Through experimentation, exploration and application, I want to hear what sounds I can elicit from the tools I use and the instrument that is in front of me. Screams, cries, heavy breaths and short rapid breaths; begging and gasps to name a few. Name that tune, haha!



The physical: marks, bruises, ***, tears and other bodily fluids are the products of my application; a manifestation of the abstract Sadistic self into my interpretation of reality and something for me to marvel at not just in the moment, but for after. Observing how it quivers, twitches and squirms are also a delight for me.



The mental: ***, ***, objectification - if I can't get into the mind of a submissive/slave, then I see no point. The *** that anything can happen at any moment; that with a simple look into their eyes they know they're going to get something but don't know what and when. Anyone can inflict *** on anyone, but for me the mental is just as essential than the physical.



These three components, you could call it a trifecta, are essential to my version of Sadism. The combination begets an array of emotions; a bond, connection and trust between the parties involved that is so strong and visceral that I feel like I'm literally going to rip apart into a million pieces. I have literally shed tears due to the elation and emotions I've felt before now. I wish I could articulate how much it makes me feel alive, alas words are too clumsy for me at this moment in time but in short, it's ***y good stuff!

[Deleted Member]

I’m not as able to talk about it well as others have. But receiving *** takes me out of myself, out of my head. I’ve given the reins over to someone else to decide what I need, what I deserve, what I can take. I’ve learnt now that, if I can breathe and focus, that the initial *** turns into pleasure. And afterwards. For days afterwards. I’m as calm as ever I am.

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, Curvykate said:

And afterwards. For days afterwards. I’m as calm as ever I am

Yes! This is perfect but something I've never been able to identify properly. I realise now you're absolutely right. The calming effect for days afterwards, for me a sense of security and a source of confidence. ❤❤

[Deleted Member]

2 hours ago, JustTheBlockingDom said:

Sadism for me is an expression of the self. It's something that I feel is an essential part of who I am that lays dormant until I let that part go. That last part of letting go, is exactly that: releasing a part of me, somewhat ***istic but tempered and disciplined, on a willing entity that allows me to do what I do within agreed boundaries (if there are to be any). I enjoy inflicting *** on the bodies of those who willfully give it to me to do as I wish. Once that switch is flicked on, I come to life.



I observe my version of Sadism in various ways: the sonic, the physical and the mental. The sonic begins with the body. I view the body as a musical instrument: my tools and methods of *** a way of tuning and producing sounds that are much alike to a musician and their musical instrument. Through experimentation, exploration and application, I want to hear what sounds I can elicit from the tools I use and the instrument that is in front of me. Screams, cries, heavy breaths and short rapid breaths; begging and gasps to name a few. Name that tune, haha!



The physical: marks, bruises, ***, tears and other bodily fluids are the products of my application; a manifestation of the abstract Sadistic self into my interpretation of reality and something for me to marvel at not just in the moment, but for after. Observing how it quivers, twitches and squirms are also a delight for me.



The mental: ***, ***, objectification - if I can't get into the mind of a submissive/slave, then I see no point. The *** that anything can happen at any moment; that with a simple look into their eyes they know they're going to get something but don't know what and when. Anyone can inflict *** on anyone, but for me the mental is just as essential than the physical.



These three components, you could call it a trifecta, are essential to my version of Sadism. The combination begets an array of emotions; a bond, connection and trust between the parties involved that is so strong and visceral that I feel like I'm literally going to rip apart into a million pieces. I have literally shed tears due to the elation and emotions I've felt before now. I wish I could articulate how much it makes me feel alive, alas words are too clumsy for me at this moment in time but in short, it's ***y good stuff!

This is incredibly well written and expressed. And hot. 😂 definitely ***y good stuff! Xx

[Deleted Member]

6 minutes ago, BooBookitty said:

This is incredibly well written and expressed. And hot. 😂 definitely ***y good stuff! Xx

Thank you 😊 Very kind words!

[Deleted Member]

52 minutes ago, BooBookitty said:

Yes! This is perfect but something I've never been able to identify properly. I realise now you're absolutely right. The calming effect for days afterwards, for me a sense of security and a source of confidence. ❤❤

It feels surreal that it is that way, but I feel the same. Balanced and steady.