Bondage

[RanchRyder]

Hi I have a question about bondage and subs. For almost all my life I have wanted to tie up girls then women and I want to do it without *** only movement restrictions. However I’m really struggling with broaching the subject with the women I meet and have not found a willing partner. I have tried being subtle and around the world scenarios and more direct questions. I have dated and waited earning, I thought, trust, all to no joy. This place I’ll admit is different bc of everyone telling the group what you like, but I still want to know how your successes were started. How did it evolve. I have a young lady that I’m swing now that I believe would enjoy my roles for her but I’m a little gushy bc of past rejections. Any advice is welcome.

TYIA

[Deleted Member]

Just go for it. Being upfront about it is the best thing to do

[Br****]

Don’t be subtle. Just be direct from the start, especially if you’re in a forum like this or talking to people already in the lifestyle.

Have a scene, outline it, ask for input or feedback. See if there’s little steps you can do to build up to what you *both* want.

But I would say, just because someone is into one area of kink, eg swinging, doesn’t mean they will want to experiment with other areas. Ideally, I’d suggest finding larger communities with similar interests, learning the ropes (lol), meeting play partners to develop skills and experience with that way.

Only thing, you use the word “successes” which makes it sound a little bit like a situation with a pass or fail. It isn’t. This could be a lil bit of a flag for some people. It’s continuous experience and practice. I know riggers who see it almost as a spiritual experience, for example. Just don’t push too hard - either yourself or a potential partner.

[Deleted Member]

Beh honest give a full disclosure theres women out there that will like what your into just gona take the time to find one that likes you dont rush into something your not going to be able to be uncomfortable and feel you have to downplay your feelings

[ra****]

Directness is what you need. Be open, honest and transparent. The worst thing that can happen is that person says no, which is fine. Just keep moving along until you find one/some that say yes and your interests align.

[Va****]

When you hide who you are…it is the first turn off to people who are open…never hide anything. For real. Like the other comment said, worst they can say is no…and spread shit…but Fuck’em. America’s first right is freedom of expression..expressing thoughts without physical harm that is. Truth.

And yeah, move the fuck on from rejection.

[Vi****]

Be direct and start small (hand tied for example) to make them comfortable and work your way up.

[pl****]

I lay it out in the table… nothing worse than spending time with a partner that is not into your kinks. Lived the vanilla life because of my choices to wait on telling my partner about my fantasies. Now I make it clear I am very kinky and if you are not into it then we will not be a match. I want to enjoy my sex life from now on and I refuse to go vanilla again! Never got off on vanilla, orgasms are always a difficult thing for me but when in full kink play it is much easier! You have to set your on the table and if they can’t hang then they are not for you! Don’t waste both of your time!

[kinkymasterandrew]

Some popular/mainstream movies have scenes in them with aspects of bondage, some just as jokes, but that may be a way of approaching the topic if you're uncomfortable with the more direct methods of starting the talk.

[Laycette]

You are in the right place to meet ppl so fill out your profile properly, say what you want, stop chatting up vanilla chicks and fish in the right pond! It's not that hard. Fellow pervert, welcome to kink!

[Va****]

Shit, we live in America o er here…the land of vanilla fucks.🤣🤣😈

[Se****]

Get a legit FetLife account (FetLife*, not this fake garbage) and look at kink events near you. I tie a new girl every other week or so. It's the Facebook of kink and if you want to tie, you'll need to become known in the community. Once you do, they'll start coming to you and recommending you to their friends who also want to be tied

Edited August 4, 2025 by FETMOD-TF
*External link removed