An unexpected encounter

[JackJonesHull]

It had been a frustrating day. Nothing had gone to plan and going to town was never the best idea anyway. She certainly wasn't in the mood for other people right now and this shopping centre was full of those. A tall glass topped street of impersonal chain stores able to afford the rent ensured it was busy. Slightly uphill and curving to the right so you couldn't see the opposite end, echoing with all the noises of a normal day.

 

She was heading for the supermarket at the other end but the smells coming from the food places beyond the central lifts were summoning her there. So she took the stairs, spiralled up, to the next floor. There used to be a well known coffee chain occupying a suspended pod here but it was long gone. A few restaurants were to the left, as was a burger chain, to the a right high street bakery and a sandwich chain, the darkened windows heralded a, now closed, bakery.

 

Not sure what to eat she walked to the first restaurant to inspect the menu. Before she had got more than halfway down someone else bunched in behind her doing the same. Far too close, crowding her so she couldn't really move. She was just about to tell them, him she realised from his subtle smells, just about to tell him to step back and give her some room. An arm reached past her, some kind of digital device worn inside the wrist, and the hand tapped on the menu.

“Yummy, miss,” he breathed into her ear “but disappointing!”

Oh god! She knew that voice. She didn't know the face attached but she knew the voice. Not that him saying Yummy wouldn't have got her attention. For she was Yummy. He did know what she looked like though. They'd be chatting online and he'd sent voice messages, she knew his voice. 

 

She went stiff in surprise and he knew that she knew. 

“Don't turn to look at me. Go up a floor and go into the car park.” The voice instructed. “Turn right then walk behind the van on the immediate right. Keep facing the wall and don't look back.” 

She took a deep breath, instinctively quietly saying “Yes sir”, and stepped back from the menu as she felt him move away. Slowly she turned and headed back to the stairs as commanded. There were people moving ahead and behind, she'd tried looking side to side but couldn't see anyone particularly watching her.

 

One floor up and out to the carpark. There was no one else in sight. She turned right and right again. Sure enough there was a larger van parked there, backed into the space, which she walked behind and stood facing the wall directly behind it. She sensed movement from the other side, he must have come up before her and waited.

 

“I didn't expect to run into you, but then you walk right past me while I'm having a coffee” his voice explained, “I wouldn't want to miss the opportunity of making your acquaintance.”

 

She felt him close behind her again, his arms rising up her sides, then he stole one of her senses by sliding a blindfold over her eyes. A moment of surprise and her other senses jumped to compensate. Hearing picking up sounds she'd been missing. She felt him there much more clearly than before. He shifted slightly to the left and she was ready for his touch as he turned her slightly away from the wall. Another surprise as she felt a soft restraint velcro around her left wrist, then her right wrist lifted and restrained as well, something between them allowing some movement but keeping her wrists about a handspan apart.

 

He must carry these things in his pockets. Who would do that? This might have been a mistake. She was slightly disoriented, in a public carpark blindfolded and restrained.

 

He moved away briefly and she heard the rear van door open and be lifted up. Then he was back. Was he going to put her in the van and take her somewhere? What was happening?  He carefully, gently,  moved her to the vehicle. Then leaned her forward, resting her hands on the carpeted floor at just under her waist height. His feet barely making a sound as he moved around behind her. But a sound was made as he, with a flat palm, slapped her arse and she yelped from the unexpected contact. 

“Good girl miss!” He growled. “But no noise!”

“Yes sir.” the reply came.

 

She straightened her legs and braced for the inevitable second spank which didn't come. The anticipation building. He lifted her skirt high, exposing her derriere to the air, piling the fabric above her hips. The moment dragged out in her mind. Then she felt his lips touch the back of her left knee. She squeaked again under her breath. His mouth and tongue drew patterns up her thigh then across and down the right. His lips pausing to kiss randomly. Each touch causing uncontrolled shudders. ***ly her feet her moved further apart, she sagged down a little.

Without sight every other sense burning her up. His touch setting fires that needed stoking or extinguishing she didn't know anymore. The warm moist feeling his voice had generated was near a monsoon within her, he must see, he must know, but still his mouth was on her skin.

 

Then it wasn't. 

 

There was a sudden coldness at her right hip, then pressure at her left. “Oh god”, she thought, “he's cut them off. Sure enough another coldness at the left and his hand and another cut as the underwear fell away. As she felt them go his tongue drove between the uncovered lips and tasted deep of her. His hands holding her upper thighs steady as, as if licking ice cream, he consumed her sex. Drank her up as she shook around his questing mouth. Taking what he willed.

 

Her legs, her whole body, like electric. Little shocks exploding in her nerve endings as every sensation was amplified until they all met around his mouth and she was on fire on him. His tongue still clamped to her. The drumming of her heart surely echoed where everyone could hear. Her breathing loud in her own ears as she bit down on the sounds caught in her throat. He moved back, no longer supported by his mouth she softly collapsed forward onto the van floor bent over the rear bumper legs folded and hung loose. 

 

An open palm, more softly than before, contacted across her, now naked, arse, causing her another quick flush of pleasure.

“Good girl!”

[Re****]

This reads like a man wrote it

[JackJonesHull]

3 hours ago, Relapsq said:

This reads like a man wrote it

I can't really help that, but I take your point.

[Ki****]

He has a point but dude I gotta say if I had your ability to put it all down like that...with the right grammer and punctuation and still have it flow and read smoothly and get people seeing it happen in the mind like that I'd be writing stuff out all day long its an awesome talent dude and you've done it better than I ever could it just needs a feminine touch to it you could perhaps have it read in a way where it switches from his mind to hers back and forth speaking from both his side and hers what each is experiencing or feeling, thinking etc within some of the scenes giving a two sided perspective it may help you pull away from that without changing your style etc
Anyway felt like chatting a lot tonight so I decided to put my thoughts in where normally I'd think it and move on hope you dont mind just thought it may help

[JackJonesHull]

2 minutes ago, Kittyeater6969 said:

it just needs a feminine touch to it you could perhaps have it read in a way where it switches from his mind to hers back and forth speaking from both his side and hers what each is experiencing or feeling, thinking etc within some of the scenes giving a two sided perspective it may help you pull away from that without changing your style etc
Anyway felt like chatting a lot tonight so I decided to put my thoughts in where normally I'd think it and move on hope you dont mind just thought it may help

I genuinely appreciate the input. 

 

The intention is always to swap between views but somehow\somewhere I get carried away with getting the initial idea down and I just want to get it out there to see if it's appreciated. I seem to get stuck in the female head whilst retaining a male point if view, if that makes any sense.

[Ki****]

Totally i tried narrating on paper in word format so I wrote a whole book based on stories I'd experienced as a taxi driver spoken to paper by me written exactly as I say it but I got lost in making it sound easier to read i lost its flow and flashy responsiveness and I also lost the me in it as I was justas focused on the outward appearance of it too its hard to keep separate i did find some relief in the form of snapping a rubber band wrapped around my palm and hand I'd tang it regularly even had a beeper set to go off every 3 mins to stop me going off on tangents....obviously im not got it on tonight hahaha

[Ki****]

Hahahaha after all that I totally forgot to say what I intended on saying which was I totally get it it makes perfect sense you'll find your easy thru it maybe writing out like a character map for each involved highlight bit of their personality and behaviors see if I t helps you transition back and forth it'll give you a role to get into that has its own persona and reactions strengths weaknesses likes dislikes etc

[Ki****]

(Easy was meant to be way)