Feminization/Sissification

[Younglove-4946]

Hey all! My hubby has just opened up to me about having this kink and it's, uh, not coming naturally to me. It took him a lot of courage to come out about it (having grown up with a really homo-/transphobic family) and I really want him to be able to explore this freely, but I just can't bring myself to enjoy it as he needs me to. 

Any advice would help regarding finding the Hot for me, as well as alleviating any *** of transy escalation (not transphobic, just aware it's extremely stigmatized in our circles and want to avoid that *** for my husband as well as myself). 

And obviously, if y'all want to open up about your own experiences and questions, please feel free! I didn't see any topics regarding this kink previously so I made my own, but by no means do I want my question to own it.

[Kayak-6086]

How about trans video/text sex with a mutual FWB/Unicorn/poly partner on/in the kink apps/community. This practice proves helpful for experimentation before allowing this into the your relationship. Good luck.

[Laurah]

completely depends on whether you'd be okay with it or not.. your husband could find a professional dominatrix (or some ethical non-monogamous extra) to help him with his sissy side.
then, keep it mostly vanilla with the pair of you.
most important thing to do, is to communicate your options with him.
i myself have difficulty with transphobic family.. so the best thing to do, is at least help him keep his secret from them!
otherwise, yeah.. explore non-monogamy avenues.
OR, just do whatever regular sex stuff you do with him, but have him dressed up?

[Younglove-4946]

Hey all! I'm not against playing with it in the bedroom at all, and I don't find it all that weird, its just not a turn on for me like I know he was hoping it would be. I just need some perspective on it I think, because right now it's my handsome, strong husband in girlie clothes and it's just kind of giving me vertigo!

[Deleted Member]

Perhaps you're a highly visual person and it's the imagery (hubby dressed up) that is the issue here.

Have you let him do his thing and done your thing lights out? Is there an act that you two could share that would turn you on regardless of his role play? It doesn't matter if the act is mild or wild so long as you both enjoy it?

As an example - if he wants to be topped by you with a strap-on, consider getting one with a vaginal/anal plug as it will give you more control when thrusting. Throw in a bullet vibe against your clit and you may well be humming along and finding out a new dimension about yourself that you never knew existed.

There's no problem with saying no and there's many advantages to safe sane and consensual exploration of your requirements that facilitate his. Easier said than done I know.

 

If he wants to be dressed up and girl like outside of the bedroom, could you get him to do some stereotypical house chores etc? Cooking/cleaning.. something that you would appreciate him doing regardless of the gender role he is portraying? Just that he gets to do it embracing his feminine side.

I have had several partners that have a wild side but it is coupled with an intimacy phobia (mostly brought on by childhood experiences).

Hope this helps.

Edited July 27, 2020 by Deleted Member
Extra idea, spelling correction

[ey****]

sissy <> trans

but it's important to kinda communicate what they like, want and expect - and whether this is fair to you.

what appeals to them as being a sissy? 

[Hexy]

The world is becoming more and more understanding of this kind of thing but sadly some places the *** and irrational shunning of what we dont understand runs deep...

I will always advise couples to talk talk and talk some more, setting aside our own feelings, as you said you are both from very transphobic backgrounds so it shows at least to me that he loves you and respects you enough to delve into his deepest secrets with you.

If its not for you then maybe finding a professional dominatrix when this lockdown is over?

The only advice i can give is to show your support etc.

There are some things you can do in privacy like shaving his legs or under arms, ***ting his toe nails etc as that is easily hidden but if anyone asks the shaving helps with the smell of sweat and also helps your sweat to draw heat away from the body if you are excessively warm all the time

[Deleted Member]

13 hours ago, YoungLove said:

I really want him to be able to explore this freely, but I just can't bring myself to enjoy it as he needs me to. 

Then I don't think you should. It's been said that people aren't fetish dispensers and I think that's fair. I wouldn't want another person dispensing fetishes for me and that's for mostly selfish reasons in fact - I want to know that someone's authentically into what I am. If they're not, I wouldn't want to say we are uncompatible - after all we may be compatible in plenty of things non-sexual, have strong communication & spiritual understanding - but for me sex is a big deal, so that's not too strong a sentiment. To be honest, I hate reading responses here about how you could learn to enjoy it or plug your nose and just "go with it" anyway. It's been suggested your husband see an escort - if you are not comfortable with that either, it might be that you're just not fit for each other. Which there's nothing wrong with, that's just the way it sometimes goes.

[Jinxy]

I am a very sensations based person. In this type of situation where there’s something my partner is into that I’m not all that interested in normally, for me, it would be all about their reactions (auditory, visual, etc). I would get pleasure from knowing they’re enjoying it so much. So perhaps having him be more vocal or basically “talk dirty” to you about how it is might help you get into it more as you could see how much it’s affecting him and might set off your own arousal. 
 

That said, I do agree with @BlushingFlush in that there isn’t an obligation for you to do this if you truly aren’t into it. As many others have mentioned, perhaps seeking an outside source to do this activity with your husband could be helpful. 
 

Good Luck! 
Jinx

Edited July 31, 2020 by Jinxy
Clarity

[ol****]

On 7/27/2020 at 4:43 AM, YoungLove said:

Hey all! I'm not against playing with it in the bedroom at all, and I don't find it all that weird, its just not a turn on for me like I know he was hoping it would be. I just need some perspective on it I think, because right now it's my handsome, strong husband in girlie clothes and it's just kind of giving me vertigo!

Maybe you are going too fast? I don't know what you've explored but maybe you went a bit too far as a first experiment?

You might find you sort of grow into it if it starts small, bit of makeup for example. 

On the other hand it might not be for you. If that's the case then you need to consider how comfortable you'd be with your husband playing with a pro partner from time to time. Whatever you decide I hope it works out for you both.

[Ta****]

The only fantasy I have had about that is where a rapist or other sex offender is subjectwd to that kind of punishment.  Not really much consent there from me I am afraid, but plenty of kink....yes.   ***d sissification, sounds great in a consensual setting as well though!

[Ma****]

Communication, is there something that you find a real turn on, tell him, chat about it, and try to work both your turn ons into your sex life, or maybe take it in turns, one night he get to be a sissy, next time you get your way, anyway talk about it.

Edited July 31, 2020 by wilkie
mis-spelt

[wickedwilly-2019]

i say its all about how u are with each other coz if both really into each other 100% dont see anything wrong in different bit fun if that ur thing lol smile be happy and enjoy i say !!!!!

[Deleted Member]

Hello.  New to this forum but this topic (and several others ) pulled me in.  I have always liked to wear a little lingerie for my own satisfaction.  I opened up to my wife about it years ago.  We tried to bring it into the bedroom in many different ways.  I wanted her to be a domme through it all. It was working for me but she just couldn't get into it all.  I wished she could've but understand that it just wasn't her thing.  But it does leave me with all these suppressed desires on many levels.