BDSM Question

[th****]

In my Bio I put I have a little kinky side but nothing a hardcore kink person, so my question is "there are soft BDSM and hardcore BDSM?"

[re****]

Yes

[da****]

There are both yes, bdsm is for all levels of kinks ranging from soft-mild to hardcore-extreme and each one is valid.

[Ch****]

BDSM can take many forms, levels of severity vary too

[li****]

Of course there is soft BDSM. You are free to choose what you want with consenting partners.

[RedFoxUK]

For me Bdsm, and kink in general, is more a state of mind, a freedom of expression a s desire that doesn't adhere to the boundaries of those who are seen as more 'conventional' or close minded. It can be as little or as much as you (and your partner(s)) need want and desire.

The only rule is enjoy yourself, and those around you.

[NowIAmTheMaster]

BDSM is as varied as it's practitioners want, and anyone who tells you that soft kinks aren't real BDSM is just showing you their red flags

Edited August 20, 2025 by NowIAmTheMaster
Edited for clarity, and to remove the chances for readers to misconstrue my words

[li****]

Btw, you're probably going to find people trying to manipulate into thinking that you're not a true X because you don't do X, Y and Z. Ignore them, they're abusive assholes.

[RedFoxUK]

I couldn't agree more with the two above comments. BDSM/Kink is what you want to make it, no one has the right or the authority to tell you what's right or wrong. Know your own mind, and follow your own path.

[th****]

Every single one of you thank you very much for your reply because I'm still new to this BDSM. 🙇

[RedFoxUK]

Anyone that tries to tell you they know all there is to know about anything is talking out of thier various other holes, whereas advice and help is another thing entriely, and you'll find good people here who are more than willing to provide that.

[ta****]

Yes absolutely there is soft BDSM and harder play. There is in general just being Soft Dom also.

IMO kink is a spectrum, with a lot of overlap in different play. Within any kink or fetish, there are hard limits (absolute no's) and soft limits (no, but maybe?) and then there are the unknowns-- what you're curious about 😊

In any role, be sure you are advocating for yourself and your boundaries. In BDSM particularly, do be aware of aftercare and Dom or sub drop. Good luck!

[InkedWolf]

There most definitely is varying aspects of BDSM…there’s no one size fits all. We are all individuals and just like our non kink sides our likes, interests etc change as we grow and develop

[DAGDA]

As the others have said, BDSM comes in many varieties. Most do not seek ***. The most common form is Bondage. Lack of control. And that is the classic form.

[Qu****]

Understand that kink is an umbrella and there are many umbrellas under that, one of which is bdsm. There's also many forms of play that can be considered "hardcore" that can have softer elements or subtypes of play.

[al****]

Bdsm is what you make of it. That is why it is great. You choose your level and it’s right. We all have our own preferences. I had a 2yr dynamic where there was so s** at all. It was just bondage and control. It can be whatever you are happy with.

[ey****]

BDSM in itself is an amalgamation of multiple acronyms so is a large umberella

Though cos of that two different people who would rightfully say they are into BDSM might each be into wildly different things

[Ch****]

It may help to think of it as a spectrum with something like spanking on one end and edge play on the other, and then get to know the things in between by using a bdsm checklist. See what turns you on. "Soft and hardcore" are very vague terms...its easier to communicate with others by stating your interests and level of experience. But dont forget that it's usually better to ask the same of others first (or read their profiles). BDSM checklists tend to be quantitative, that maybe attractive to some that are neurospicy.

[Deleted Member]

Yes… in kink, there is everything you can think of. If a thing excites you, pleases you, or gets you off… it’s a kink. The degree you desire something can change with the day or years. Sometimes, “a little taste” will do. Other times you will want to push yourself and see where it can take you. Being honest with your own desires can help you find a suitable partner.
Hope this helps.

[Deleted Member]

Of there are both there are even people who can do both depending on the mood

[Ma****]

100%

[Ma****]

🙄🙄 whoooo knowws.

[id****]

Definitely