Popular Post Invisible71 Posted August 22, 2020 Popular Post Posted August 22, 2020 Having been around here for a few years, I've had dips and not logged in for a while but ultimately I pop back in the hope I can make a connection with somebody. Sometimes it can be really really tiring making a connection and just when you think the next step is within reach it falls apart. What keeps you all coming back? How close have you been to really leaving the scene because its just not working for you? Any other feelings/thoughts feel free to add. Hope to hear from you soon. i71
ey**** Posted August 22, 2020 Posted August 22, 2020 I've come close to quitting stuff more than once over the years. In retrospect, some was akin to throwing toys out the pram because I wasn't getting my own way - but - still. Some things I've found. Sometimes you do need a little time out. Whether a stepback a little to gather your thoughts and also evaluating your own approach and mindset. This can be asking yourself what you want and deciding if it's even reasonable - a lot of people fall into different traps. But also looking at your overall approach. Making connection online is difficult - I find it's easier passively (interacting with folk on the forums, at least first) than actively (direct contacting someone who is new) and this is something the same with other websites and also at stuff like munches and events. I won't say it's a 'strategy' - but I like to diversify. (though - sometimes everything all turns to shit at once, but that's another story)
Koby Posted August 22, 2020 Posted August 22, 2020 For me, it's about happiness and fulfillment. A vanilla relationship can only fill half of the void, the other half needs to be filled by my desired relationship needs. Settling is not a viable option for me Where I am at now, I am wiser. I recognise it is a process and not necessarily an easy process. Logically, it's a deductive process, I am aware I'm starting from a wide general concept to a specific need - which makes what I am seeking niche. Lastly, I review my needs and this enables me to identify relationship imperatives. With my refined needs, I am in a better position to present an idea of my desired relationship.
Deleted Member Posted August 22, 2020 Posted August 22, 2020 I've made friends and found a life partner, but what keeps me coming back is the people and the willingness to give time to others with out any reward. Eyemblacksheep ,pixiedust , lilmonster to name a few . Its not just a community its family and I love to watch it grow x
ol**** Posted August 22, 2020 Posted August 22, 2020 The simple answer from me is yes. It's not easy to find playmates via this site but I do like the sense of community and sometimes, just sometimes...
Deleted Member Posted August 22, 2020 Posted August 22, 2020 (edited) 5 hours ago, Invisible71 said: Sometimes it can be really really tiring making a connection and just when you think the next step is within reach it falls apart. Of course, it emotionally can and does drain, to invest in another sometimes for weeks on end to eventually be left empty handed. That is the same I think for us all yet that is the dating game be it vanilla or kink. The way I've looked at it is with patience and acceptance that I may never find exactly what I seek, I may spend weeks trying to develop a connection only to have my hopes dashed at the last hurdle. It has not put me off when rejection has come my way, it only encouraged me to try harder. I've taken a breath from it but only to clarify in my own mind new things, differing viewpoints so I fully understand where I may have gone wrong, not to repeat or be confused. The way I look at it is none of us know what tomorrow brings, If you walk away today yet tomorrow she may appear and you will miss her, never give up, ever. Edited August 22, 2020 by Deleted Member Better choice of words
hollyass Posted August 22, 2020 Posted August 22, 2020 Well i am new on this site,have chated with some people,learned new things.The feeling of kink comunity is great.Before there was nobody to talk about this stuff,cant talk with vanilla about it.For me it is great.I will find somebody if i am patient and dont give up.Success comes to those who dont give up,ever.Problem is that people are not patient,want it all and want it now.It usualy dont work that way.You think it is it then eveything chrushes and chrush you with it.You lose will and hope.But dont give up.For me the rush is when i see her for the firs time i will not know that she is the one.If you fail again and again,change something in your aproach,in your talk.You are completly right Donnykinkster.
Fr**** Posted August 22, 2020 Posted August 22, 2020 We have had our upswings and slumps, but we keep each other motivated to explore and embrace our sexualities and sexual appetite by changing the scene up from time to time. We got burned out in couples recently because we ran into a lot of flaky people, toxic relationships, jealousy, partners just in the LS to please their partner and other random, unnecessary drama caused by it all. We chose to make these slumps teachable moments and learn what our limits, boundaries and preferences are. We then opted for singles for threesums for a while and if a couple caught our eyes we would talk to them and see what was up. Being in the lifestyle for a month shy one year, it has been a wild ride! My boyfriend suggested the LS early in our relationship and allowed me to embrace the freak that was dying to get out...and I’ve never turned back. In that year I discovered that I am actually Bi-sexual and enjoy playing with women as much as men. I just love to please and be pleased, and doing this with the man I love is a bonus! ❤️ Have we wanted to quit? ABSOLUTELY! There have been times where we took a break to focus on our relationship, recharge our batteries and refresh our minds and eyes, but the LS seems to lure us back in because of the need to wave our freak flags! All I can say is determination got us where we are today in our relationship and the LS, as well as love, trust and commitment to one another. The LS has never been a replacement, only an enhancement of the amazing relationship we already have. 😘
Ar**** Posted August 22, 2020 Posted August 22, 2020 I have found myself disenchanted with various things here on a few occasions and oft taken a break for several weeks. I return primarily because there are many good people here I have become good friends with, and others good acquaintances. A part of me also remains optimistic and keeps the door open that perhaps my ideal partner and I may yet find one another here, although I am not actively searching - such things will happen when they happen.
li**** Posted August 24, 2020 Posted August 24, 2020 On 8/22/2020 at 11:49 AM, Tazzography17 said: I've made friends and found a life partner, but what keeps me coming back is the people and the willingness to give time to others with out any reward. Eyemblacksheep ,pixiedust , lilmonster to name a few . Its not just a community its family and I love to watch it grow x Aw that's really nice thank you. X
Nylon-Nellie Posted August 25, 2020 Posted August 25, 2020 Yes, nearly happened to me earlier on in year. Left, gathered my thoughts, had words with myself and came back. Sh*t happens for a reason. Far too many times sh*t has happened to me, but am still here, ever the optimist
Invisible71 Posted August 25, 2020 Author Posted August 25, 2020 Well, there it is... Most likely the final fucking straw... There was a lady that I'd been messaging... her Dom wasn't heard from in many many weeks and she ws struggling with personal issues... We were getting alone great.... I respected her promise to her Dom even though he was ignoring her messages etc. I never asked for anything that would put her in an awkward position whikst she waited for her Dom. A true friendship was formed... Then tonight, midway through our message swapping, the Dom is back after 4 weeks of almost zero contact with her and I've been dropped like a hot potato from way up in the clouds down to the level of 'a friend to have coffee with sometime' With everything at work I feel this has really has broken me tonight... So tired of all of this...
ol**** Posted August 26, 2020 Posted August 26, 2020 15 hours ago, Invisible71 said: Well, there it is... Most likely the final fucking straw... There was a lady that I'd been messaging... her Dom wasn't heard from in many many weeks and she ws struggling with personal issues... We were getting alone great.... I respected her promise to her Dom even though he was ignoring her messages etc. I never asked for anything that would put her in an awkward position whikst she waited for her Dom. A true friendship was formed... Then tonight, midway through our message swapping, the Dom is back after 4 weeks of almost zero contact with her and I've been dropped like a hot potato from way up in the clouds down to the level of 'a friend to have coffee with sometime' With everything at work I feel this has really has broken me tonight... So tired of all of this... You should look on the bright side. She told you her situation. The "potato dropping" is fairly easy to explain if you stop and think about it. Maybe you read a little more into the conversation than was there? It can and does happen. Finding the right sub is not easy. If it's stressing you out becasue of other factors then maybe take a break. If you'll allow me I'll offer a bit of advice. Don't try too hard in your quest. It'll happen in its own good time if it's going to and it might not even be on this excellent site.
Deleted Member Posted August 26, 2020 Posted August 26, 2020 I took a break for about a year. I like this site for several reasons. I like the intelligent conversation about erotic topics. I really enjoy getting to know kinky people. And I like flirting with exhibitionism by being very open about my kinks and history. I haven't had a kinky lover for a while, and this place has been an outlet for me.
Deleted Member Posted August 26, 2020 Posted August 26, 2020 2 hours ago, oldfellow said: Don't try too hard in your quest. It'll happen in its own good time if it's going to and it might not even be on this excellent site. 👆👆👆couldnt agree more.
Jo**** Posted September 7, 2021 Posted September 7, 2021 New to this app but i do come n go on grindr a lot. Like A LOT. Lol I don’t go back fir anybody persay. I do it more for my Trans community. I give mental health guidance n spend most says pep talking the folks of my community or helping sone guys understand their approach is the reason they getting flaked. I know its a hookup app, but not really just a hookup app. I built families there. I still talk to men n women i had hookup with years ago n now we just budds. Even the ones i met on vacation. My point? I hope i build the same level of trust n bonding with the folks on here. And no matter how long it takes to find what im looking for? It’s all good. Patience is golden. Also try not to burn yourself over the things that are lagging u. Leave for a while n come back when u do an internal reset. I myself am extremely persistent n way to relaxed. I know my mate is out there n there’s plenty of potential friendships no matter where i go.
Ez**** Posted September 17, 2021 Posted September 17, 2021 I've accepted the fact i will never find a partner into kink and bdsm
su**** Posted January 6, 2022 Posted January 6, 2022 In ready to give up for sure. I don't know why I stay here. I've never come close to meeting anyone. To many fake doms and scammers
ge**** Posted January 6, 2022 Posted January 6, 2022 I've never given up, but then I've never made it my mission with sites like this to meet people and have taken a more laid back approach of if I meet people as a result of being on the site then it's an added bonus. I take pleasure from using the forums etc and furthering my knowledge, and interactions tend to start naturally as an offshoot of that. I find that approach a lot less frustrating than constantly blindly hunting for people that may or may not be interested in me.
su**** Posted January 6, 2022 Posted January 6, 2022 @Gemini_man.... this site is not my mission. I have plenty of things in life that keep me happy and busy. I'm just very private so I don't go to munches or anything. I've been living in a vanilla world and I just would like to have some interaction with like minded people. Unfortunately I don't know where to find them
ge**** Posted January 6, 2022 Posted January 6, 2022 6 hours ago, YourAngelBaby said: @Gemini_man.... this site is not my mission. I have plenty of things in life that keep me happy and busy. I'm just very private so I don't go to munches or anything. I've been living in a vanilla world and I just would like to have some interaction with like minded people. Unfortunately I don't know where to find them Please forgive me if you think my comment was in any way directed at you - it was a simple and personal statement about me and my approach, and nothing more. As for where to find those likeminded people this site and others like it are one way - whilst I understand completely about being a private person, munches and the like don't have to be all out public affairs and are usually no more than sociable drinks in a private area of a pub and really are a great way to meet others.
Recommended Posts