Understand your partner

[bd****]

I also think it is both. You have to trust your partner to play according to your rules and one has to open up and be willing to experiment and learn from each other

[on****]

I think it's all of what everyone has said. The only element i woukd like to add was i also had to trust my instincts. I think when I began this journey I was always so paranoid I would cross my person's boundary, unintentionally. This lead to be forever checking in and making sure things where right, when this is done to frequently, it can be a mood killer. Funnily enough I also discovered that my instinct on where to go and how far to take it. Is usually spot on. Just needed to keep my noggin at a bit of a distance haha.

I also read another person wrote that they don't like handing over full control.
I can only speak for how I operate, but I make it very clear, it's the sub that has the control. Although I might be performing the physical act, the sub has the absolute power to stop everything where it is, ask to be untied or helped up and they can walk away, go and make a sandwich just for themselves, even though they know I'm hungry, and then throw it in the bin. Im operating within there capacity, in every way.
Have a great day 🙂

[on****]

*I learnt my instincts where on the ****
I also have a cracked screen, so excuse the tardiness 🙃

[Ki****]

I agree it can be both. With my partner, submission feels like opening my heart and sharing the deepest parts of myself. That kind of vulnerability is also trust, trusting that when I let them see me fully, they’ll hold me with care.