Advice for a little who feels abandoned

[Deleted Member]

I was in a dynamic that ended about a month ago it opened my eyes up to just how amazing these dynamics can be the kind that you only imagine would be possible 🙏🥰 it was everything and more. Unfortunately there were obstacles that seemed impossible to navigate and the dynamic broke down.
Something we both had to accept, but i have and still am feeling the separation anxiety, missing him and well left feeling a little abandoned i know in no longer his responsibility and he is more than likely dealing with this in the best way he knows how and possibly thinking it’s what’s best for me.
I’m just not sure how i can cope with the inner feelings of still needing his guidance and friendship

If anyone has any advice for me it would be much appreciated this is the first time I’ve posted into these forums so please be kind 🙏

[us****]

Really happy you had a positive experience ☺️

[Deleted Member]

Dynamics like this can be intense and sentimental, sorry to hear it ended but you’ve got the experience to cherish even if it’s over. It’s part of your journey that leads you to understanding yourself and that’s a blessing. Losing something is never going to be fun or easy but would it have been worth it and fulfilling if it was? It may be hard but you’re gonna become stronger from it

[Er****]

Oh no dont leave

[ve****]

I am sorry you’re feeling like that. Sometimes the only way through *** and loss is to live through it.
The only thing I might add is that the biggest gift a person can give us is to transform us. It sounds like this person changed you by exploring with you the things that make your soul tickle.
You’ll carry that wisdom with you now so, in a way, he will be with you wherever you go.
Best of luck, there will be brighter days ahead ☀️

[ca****]

Not sure how much help this is... but I feel it has been of help for 'others' I have chatted with in the past.

i)  Share and discuss your situation with others on here .. as you have just done...  gets it out there and frees up your mind for a moment (possibly)

ii) Do similar in the CHAT - as I know there are good people on here who can give really good support (not that I am a CHAT user)

iii) Chat direct with others on here, again some very able people on here who can listen, offer advice and share their own experiences.

All worth a try.  Keep well.

[Jo****]

I'm so sorry to hear about the breakdown in your dynamic. Good for you on reaching out. I think that's the key. Keep seeking out these conversations. I'd recommend talking to other littles/submissives--they'll be more likely to be empathetic without trying to prey on you.
Best of luck and know that you matter; you are worthy of someone's best efforts

[typhoon2]

This is where a friend network is so important, ideally kink chums with whom you can unload without embarassment and probably with some understanding. Online advice and sympathy doesn't work as well as a physical hug, bouncing ideas around, sittinmg in companionable silence, etc.

Local munches would be an ideal starter, or search here or elsewhere online for like-minded souls, especially other Littles and Subs. Suffering alone isn't healthy and a distraction is a good way to let time heal you.

[Submissive_summer]

Sorry to hear your feeling a little lost ...
Sadly there is no quick fix to resolve  🌷

[Re****]

It's super hard when these types of dynamics end. As a Daddy, I've also had to deal with the emotions of missing a little that was no longer mine. It sucks. Distractions help. Finding platonic relationships help.

In your case maybe try find a group of littlest to hang out with and maybe be little together.
Maybe you can be little on your own with coloring books or bubble baths.

[da****]

To get over someone you get under someone else 😏👌

[se****]

💔😘

[Deleted Member]

It’s important to have a greater purpose/ life goal that you are always striving to achieve. Something to ground yourself in when times get tough and you need a reason to keep moving forward. 

[Deleted Member]

Hey little one I see this and I've been through it once. There are many ways to overcome it. Could be as Simple as opening your life to a new daddy but make sure you lay things out from the off. Leave no stone unturned when it comes to what you would like. Honesty and communication is so very important especially surrounding that dynamic.
 

[Do****]

Keep your mind active, Do things and don't sit down. There are more great Daddys out there and u are gorgeous. Don't be sad

[Deleted Member]

Firstly, I am so sorry you're experiencing this tragic experience, it does happen, and unfortunately it happens far too often in this digital age than it used to because too many people are selfish.

Aside from the countless comments and messages you're going to receive from people who see your current vulnerability as an invitation to try and be selfish and take advantage of you, let's look at what went wrong before we can move forward.

Sounds like the dynamic fell into place before it should have, to me. Accepting the responsibility of taking on the care of a little should not be done if the Big can't provide for the little in every way. It's just setting up for heartbreak and failure. But emotions and physical desire often distract and make it hard to think correctly so I get it.

Don't jump into dynamics if they can't overcome the obstacles, better to be lonely then to be neglected.

Now...what can you do? You need guidance, you need structure, you need to have a steady hand...right? And more importantly you need to move on, because if you don't stop thinking about him you are not going to have room for someone better to take their place.

I say treat it like a break up with any other relationship, go scorched earth and block, delete, whatever remnants of the relationship remain. Then...when you're ready, start interviewing for a replacement.

[Deleted Member]

Thank you all for your wise words and encouragement 🙏🥰

[Deleted Member]

2 minutes ago, LittleOneSub said:

Thank you all for your wise words and encouragement 🙏🥰

Honestly it's all good. We're all here. If you need to reach out then do so.

From a daddy 👋☺️

[wa****]

You have a choice to make. You can either cause yourself *** by taking what you had in the relationship as a loss, that will never be recovered thereby weighing you down and making life more difficult OR learning from the relationship what you want and don't want in your life and using it as a template to the next relationship you have.

When you find a new partner, you can communicate what you learned you need, and enjoy, while also maintaining boundaries of what you did not enjoy and can not tolerate. You can also use what you have learned to avoid or prevent the obstacle that caused the previous separation. Be happy for the experience which will make you wiser in the next relationship.

[Th****]

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this loss. I feel you.

[FOX-UKDD]

Echoing above!

There are some massive positive aspects in what you said also and it sounds as though things were dealt with in a caring and communicative way. If obstacles are not able to be overcome then it has been a genuinely responsible decision for the dynamic to end on a positive note, mutually.

The loss is real, the feelings are real, the need is real, and no one can contradict that as they are valid. The advice to share is great! The freeing room in your mind is always how I approach the things that need doing, something about saying things out loud or in writing is freeing.

I would also just like to add that you’re not alone in this, we’re Daddy’s, we’re Doms, and please remember that any responsible person that has earned that honorific will also be feeling the loss. You become as much a part of us and our life as we do yours.

These dynamics are Yin Yang at their core, where one can’t be completely whole or balanced without the other, something sometimes people forget. It’s not going to be easy but all I can advice is to focus on the positive aspects, the learnings, the growth, and the improved self awareness as you move forward.

Don’t shy away from appreciating what you no longer have if you can feel a permanent benefit from the experience. 😇

[Sl****]

What happened?

[Deleted Member]

Breathe.
First... what you’re feeling is not weakness, it’s proof of how deeply you showed up.

A dynamic that ends can feel like losing a compass... the structure is gone, but the need for guidance is still loud in your bones. That ache is real.

Here’s the hard truth though you are not abandoned. The power you miss isn’t gone, it’s waiting inside you now. Take what you learned in that space... the trust, the rituals, the discipline... and use them to hold yourself until you can choose what’s next.

You don’t have to rush to replace him, or the dynamic. This is your time to integrate, to find your own footing again so the next bond you step into will be chosen from strength not from the ache.

You are still worthy. You are still submissive. And the right Dominant will meet you there when you’re ready, not just when you’re hurting.

[Jj****]

After me and my little seperated. Ngl i was lost i didnt know what to do with myself. And i felt bad for trying to move on but it really helps fill the voice. Theres a void in my life when im not a caregiver. I need someone to express my love to and to give my attention too. And i imagine it works the other way too. 

[Ma****]

This can be a very hard thing to navigate especially when it's your first breakup. There is an assimilation process that we go through, when we become entangled with someone..it's for us to be able to untangle ourselves and go through the process sof finding ourself again and remembering who " I was an individual" then healing and them looking for your next steps, it's normal to have these feelings this time needs to be filled with passions that you have and bring you joy that will also allow you to heal and bring yourself back to level which you can work from again.