Submission..............

[uk****]

This is from a subs perspective but it’s an open question, flip the perspective if you’re Dominant. 

I’m self reliant, cocky and love being centre of attention.  In work and hobbies I identify problems, deal with them then shout about how awesome I’ve been - it’s part of my character as is the tendency to talk too much and use "I" way too much.

Sexually I always thought of myself as a “mild switch”, watching the world of kink with interest, enjoying the feeling of comradery that is evident here and admiring most of you for embracing yourselves and desires.

Then someone special came along. 

She saw something buried inside me. Whether it was deliberately from the outset or not She brought it to the surface in a most spectacular fashion.

I am submissive to this person in a way I never thought possible before. I’ve done things to please this person I would have shuddered at a few months ago but knowing that Mistress likes those things has changed the way I feel about them and made me crave more. 

Amongst other things Mistress is sensitive, empathic, caring and considerate, has a wicked sense of fun and is very different to how I naively viewed being “Dominant” previously.

We have a need nowadays to label everything. This is changing everywhere and whilst the world of kink in general has been one of the first to accept that things aren't always that black & white, there are still purists who believe that D's should act in a particular way and s's in another.

Every person and relationship whether vanilla or otherwise is different so this got me thinking,  what does being submissive mean to you? 

Is it trusting that someone else knows what’s best for you and allowing that person to lead you down a path you never really saw before. 

Is it believing that someone will stop if you say a single word but knowing that deep inside you'll feel like you've failed them.

Is it giving yourself to someone however they want you, craving every second they give you and waiting for the next contact. 

Is it a feeling deep inside when someone uses you for their own gratification

Is it curling up in someone’s arms and feeling secure 

Is it something you give, something you do, something you feel or something you are 

To me it’s all of those and many more things I haven’t yet been able to put into words. I willingly give Mistress everything I can knowing that it wont last forever but hoping we can both enjoy it while it does.

Whether you are Dominant, Switch or submissive how do you describe being submissive?

Edited September 28, 2020 by ukmarky

[Deleted Member]

I recognise what you speak of - I met someone recently who brings out a new submissive side of me. I guess each dynamic has the possibility to do that. I have never seen submission as allowing myself to be cared for before. Yet I enjoy that feeling now and welcome it. I’ve primarily seen myself as a service submissive - that it’s my role to provide gratification for my dominant. I delight in being taken, used and ***d for their pleasure. Fighting myself in order to obey and be subservient. It’s a feeling I think and a role and it is evolving rapidly.

[Deleted Member]

6 minutes ago, Curvykate said:

 I have never seen submission as allowing myself to be cared for before. 

I adore those words 😊

[Deleted Member]

Submissive for me is trust, affection, a deep caring for another. Submission for me is a connection unlike any other I've ever experienced, a true understanding and joining of souls. 

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, ukmarky said:

Is it trusting that someone else knows what’s best for you and allowing that person to lead you down a path you never really saw before.

Is it giving yourself to someone however they want you, craving every second they give you and waiting for the next contact. 

Is it a feeling deep inside when someone uses you for their own gratification

Is it curling up in someone’s arms and feeling secure 

Is it something you give, something you do, something you feel or something you are 

So much here has resonated with me! 

For me submission is trust in my Domme that she dies know best. 

It is giving myself over to another and the craving and anticipation of the next time. 

It is feeling secure that my gift of submission is never taken for granted. 

Thank you Marky. Very eloquent. 😁

[Koby]

Sometimes we require labels to define us or give us definition. When we reach the apex of self awareness, our  identities start to become one or atleast sit together in harmony.

Submission for me is not a quality or a personality trait.  It is for me, someone who finds peace or harmony in submission. IMO, someone who is trying to wrestle with this part of themselves is still on a journey to harmonisation with self. 

[Wo****]

I'm redefining what submission is.

I was, am, sexually submissive. Or I prefer receiving sex. My gift is my orgasms, the way I react to things.

I am submissive.

I'm also confident. Independent. Dominant.

 

I'm learning, now, to not only give myself but to give of myself.

 

 

[Bo****]

14 minutes ago, Bounty said:

I'm redefining what submission is.

I was, am, sexually submissive. Or I prefer receiving sex. My gift is my orgasms, the way I react to things.

I am submissive.

I'm also confident. Independent. Dominant.

 

I'm learning, now, to not only give myself but to give of myself.

 

 

🙏🐺🙏 ..........🌀🌊🔥💚  Goddess 

[Deleted Member]

5 hours ago, Donnykinkster said:

I adore those words 😊

Why do you respond to that, Donny? You feel strongly that subs should be cared for? Several of my play partners have (and do, as friends now) care, I am sure of it. But I’ve struggled to accept it. Until recently.

[Deleted Member]

2 hours ago, Bounty said:

I'm redefining what submission is.

I was, am, sexually submissive. Or I prefer receiving sex. My gift is my orgasms, the way I react to things.

I am submissive.

I'm also confident. Independent. Dominant.

 

I'm learning, now, to not only give myself but to give of myself.

 

 

You put things in quite a different way than I have thought of submission. 🧐 What do you mean - the way you react to things. How is that a gift, Bounty?

[Deleted Member]

Just now, Curvykate said:

 But I’ve struggled to accept it. Until recently.

For that exact reason

[Deleted Member]

3 minutes ago, Donnykinkster said:

For that exact reason

Ah. I understand now 🤗😁

[Wo****]

7 minutes ago, Curvykate said:

You put things in quite a different way than I have thought of submission. 🧐 What do you mean - the way you react to things. How is that a gift, Bounty?

I am incredibly receptive.

How I react to being touched.... be it a dragon tail whip or a feather.

How I orgasm.

 

[Wo****]

 

4 minutes ago, Bounty said:

I am incredibly receptive.

How I react to being touched.... be it a dragon tail whip or a feather.

How I orgasm.

 

It's a gift for me because it's a wonderful thing, to feel things like I do. A gift for others because they evoke those reactions.

I've been quivering for a good twenty minutes after being stroked by a feather on my calf.... I writhe and squirm under a dragon tail.

[Deleted Member]

16 hours ago, Bounty said:

 

It's a gift for me because it's a wonderful thing, to feel things like I do. A gift for others because they evoke those reactions.

I've been quivering for a good twenty minutes after being stroked by a feather on my calf.... I writhe and squirm under a dragon tail.

This chimes with something my dominant said. Hmm. But it’s just something we are or we are not - is that a gift? Genuinely curious.

[Wo****]

40 minutes ago, Curvykate said:

This chimes with something my dominant said. Hmm. But it’s just something we are or we are not - is that a gift? Genuinely curious.

Depends how you look at it.

Life is a gift, is it not?

[Deleted Member]

58 minutes ago, Bounty said:

Depends how you look at it.

Life is a gift, is it not?

I think seeing life as a gift and something I am/do as a gift to another are quite different concepts. I’m mulling it over. I think if it makes me feel uncomfortable (it does) I probably need to shift my thinking.

[Wo****]

17 minutes ago, Curvykate said:

I think seeing life as a gift and something I am/do as a gift to another are quite different concepts. I’m mulling it over. I think if it makes me feel uncomfortable (it does) I probably need to shift my thinking.

My love for the reaction I get from how I react. It's a gift to me because I give them pleasure... love... joy... by just how I react to their touch or whatever they do.

 

[Bo****]

4 hours ago, Bounty said:

My love for the reaction I get from how I react. It's a gift to me because I give them pleasure... love... joy... by just how I react to their touch or whatever they do.

 

As one lucky enough to have been honoured by the reactive states that @Bounty reaches in response to my sensual Dominant......i can truly say i have been gifted such joy n pleasure to have shared in her raptuous enjoyment of submitting to my ministrations ,be it chiffon scarf,feather,fur, or riding crop........ A new perspective n much personal growth inspired in her kinks.........thank you @Bounty🙏🐺🙏

[Wo****]

7 minutes ago, Boldbald said:

As one lucky enough to have been honoured by the reactive states that @Bounty reaches in response to my sensual Dominant......i can truly say i have been gifted such joy n pleasure to have shared in her raptuous enjoyment of submitting to my ministrations ,be it chiffon scarf,feather,fur, or riding crop........ A new perspective n much personal growth inspired in her kinks.........thank you @Bounty🙏🐺🙏

The pleasure was all mine, I assure you 😚

🐤❤🐺

[Bo****]

@Bounty don't tell the aftercare jelly babies!💋

[Phoenyx]

This one has taken some thought.  In many ways, this thread (as well as a couple others) have come at a timely moment for me.  My sub and I recently parted ways.  It was an amicable separation, and we still exchange the occasional message.  Our lives were simply taking different paths.  Now, as I reflect on the past several months, my mind shifts to an aspect of the D/s dynamic, that seems rarely discussed.

When my sub and I first exchanged messages,  she seemed uncertain of the future.  It wasn't that she appeared lost.  Merely, that life had thrown her too many curves.  She wanted a Dom that showed an interest in her---not just another relationship, where it was all about them.   At first, we did a little online play.  Perhaps, it was more serious flirtation, than actual play.  After a while though, our conversations turned more to life-in-general.  That was her gift to me---the baring of her soul.

Still, it was not about submitting to my will.  It was more about submitting to my influence.  She had a lot of dragons in her life.  But, I was never Sir Galahad, riding to her rescue.  Instead, I gave her the sword, and guided her hand, so she could slay those dragons, on her own.  Over the months, I have watched her grow stronger and more confident.  Some may see this, as a very different kind of D/s relationship.  But, I view it as D/s in its purest from---without all of the trappings of whips and leather.

At this point, I would like to make reference to another thread---the one about "Being Spurned..."  Sometimes, it is not about rejection, but about two lives moving in different directions.  There is also the great physical distance---in our case, twelve hours across seemingly endless desert.  It became a bit of a strain, as our lives drifted farther and farther apart.  Truly, over the past couple/few weeks, she seemed ready, to take-on those dragons, on her own.  It was coming down to a choice, between being true to herself, or following me.  But, I could not leave, until she felt ready.  I did not want her feel "spurned".  It took a lot of gentle hinting and prodding, before she recognized her own readiness.  And so, we parted as friends---each to seek new adventures.

Which, brings-up my thoughts on the final thread---"The Drop" (or "The Crash", as I have called it).  Forgive my digression.  It just seems easier this way, than relaying this tale multiple times.  Truly, our parting was a joyous moment, a kind of "graduation".  Yet, I cannot help feeling drained.  However, it is not a loss of energy, as much as the fact, that the flow is no longer there.  For a moment, I felt disoriented.  Thankfully though, these three threads have helped me to compose my thoughts.

[Wo****]

40 minutes ago, Boldbald said:

@Bounty don't tell the aftercare jelly babies!💋

It's ok, they're legless 😊

Btw... our captive jelly baby melted in a vat of acid. We now have green spring water. It's quite fetching 😊