Intimate Doms

[da****]

Honestly, its important to cuddle and connect! I love intimacy, even if you are super kinky

[bi****]

I agree

[So****]

All doms are intimate you are simply not finding real doms. What you are finding are insecure men who are cosplaying and are sadist. To be dominant and masculine means to care for those weaker and in softer positions and to value their trust. To me that means plenty of care and affection, while others arent big on affection, but if they lack care they arent doms, just sadists.

[Ba****]

Wednesday at 03:29 PM, SourisAnon said:

All doms are intimate you are simply not finding real doms. What you are finding are insecure men who are cosplaying and are sadist. To be dominant and masculine means to care for those weaker and in softer positions and to value their trust. To me that means plenty of care and affection, while others arent big on affection, but if they lack care they arent doms, just sadists.

Wait i share your distaste for the larping pseudos but why you trying to throw us sadist under the bus with them??
I’ll have you know that some of the most caring, tender and affectionate doms can be found among sadist by sheer necessity, it’s way to easy to leave some sort of permanent damage so this is the one group that absolutely can not afford to not pay extra close attention to their partners physical and mental condition, the nature of our interactions also means we need more extensive knowledge about aftercare(just a fluffy blanket and some hot chocolate isn’t gonna help much when you need actual medicine and to know how to use it) and the inherently conflicting situation of causing one part *** for both parts to gain pleasure causes the more sensitive among us to be more often and more heavily affected by dom-drop and similar conditions, leading sadists to be the type of dom who most reliably benefit from having aftercare not just as something they do for their partner’s but also for their own wellbeing
Don’t dogpile educate yourself

[So****]

44 minutes ago, Barthold said:

Wait i share your distaste for the larping pseudos but why you trying to throw us sadist under the bus with them??
I’ll have you know that some of the most caring, tender and affectionate doms can be found among sadist by sheer necessity, it’s way to easy to leave some sort of permanent damage so this is the one group that absolutely can not afford to not pay extra close attention to their partners physical and mental condition, the nature of our interactions also means we need more extensive knowledge about aftercare(just a fluffy blanket and some hot chocolate isn’t gonna help much when you need actual medicine and to know how to use it) and the inherently conflicting situation of causing one part *** for both parts to gain pleasure causes the more sensitive among us to be more often and more heavily affected by dom-drop and similar conditions, leading sadists to be the type of dom who most reliably benefit from having aftercare not just as something they do for their partner’s but also for their own wellbeing
Don’t dogpile educate yourself

you misread and misunderstood what I wrote. You can be dominant AND a sadist but being a sadist does not make you a dominant person. It simply makes you a sadist. They are two distinct things. If OP found a sadist who does not have care or protection or empathy in his heart then that is not a proper dom. It is just a sadistic person cosplaying dominance. Do you understand now?

[Ba****]

19 minutes ago, SourisAnon said:

you misread and misunderstood what I wrote. You can be dominant AND a sadist but being a sadist does not make you a dominant person. It simply makes you a sadist. They are two distinct things. If OP found a sadist who does not have care or protection or empathy in his heart then that is not a proper dom. It is just a sadistic person cosplaying dominance. Do you understand now?

Sure i personally know a few sadistic subs too but the only thing about my statement that changes for them is the part about dom-drop
Sure they can be less likely to be officially responsible for the situations as a whole but that on it’s own doesn’t make them feel better about what they did after thing cooled down
Nothing against you personally i’ve just seen the stereotypical misconception of the uncaring sadist too often to ignore at this point and this should be the kind of place where i would have least expected to see it

[Ba****]

21 minutes ago, SourisAnon said:

you misread and misunderstood what I wrote. You can be dominant AND a sadist but being a sadist does not make you a dominant person. It simply makes you a sadist. They are two distinct things. If OP found a sadist who does not have care or protection or empathy in his heart then that is not a proper dom. It is just a sadistic person cosplaying dominance. Do you understand now?

Ps I don’t have empathy either, just sayin

[Gentlemandom47]

It’s not just you - and you’re not asking for too much.

What you’re describing is a very real disconnect that a lot is submissives run into, especially online.  Confidence and authority are easy to perform; intimacy takes effort, patience, and emotional literacy. Many people adopt the aesthetic of dominance without understanding the relational responsibility that comes with it.

 

A Dom who leads well isn’t just someone who gives orders - it’s someone who sees you, values you, and understands that submission is often an act of trust, not just desire. When affection, reassurance, and presence are missing, it can feel cold or transactional very quickly, no matter how “dominant” the person claims to be.

 

You’re also right that some confuse dominance with control-for-control’s sake. Real D/s isn’t about ownership without care; it’s about guidance attunement, and mutual investment. Intimacy doesn’t weaken dominance - it grounds it.

 

The sad truth is that people who value emotional connection tent to be rarer and quieter, while those chasing power or validation are louder and more visible. That doesn’t mean what you’re looking for doesn’t exist - just that it often takes longer to find.

 

Try not to let them noise convince you that intimacy and dominance are incompatible. They’re not. For many dynamics, intimacy is the very thing that makes submission feel safe, meaningful and sustainable.

 

You’re not broken. You’re discerning. And that matters.