Popular Post Se**** Posted October 15 Popular Post This is a topic I’ve been thinking about for a while and I’m interested in other people’s opinions on it. Disposability of people is becoming more and more common place (in my opinion) - has/does anyone else experience this? Before I go further I will say this IS NOT a woe is me, pity me, make me feel better post. Nor am I looking for people to judge my feelings or try to change them - that isn't what l'm about. This is about trying to further understand why we treat each other the way we do and seem to be happy to “throw” people away just “because”. If you know me you know my story but in short I've recently come to the conclusion that I am disposable (effectively worthless) due to a raft of different reasons. l'm becoming increasingly concerned by what I'm seeing and hearing from others and what I'm experiencing personally. I understand that we live in a fast, want it now and got to have it culture. I further understand that many things in our lives are (too easily) replaceable or disposable. We don't necessarily take the care that we once used to of possessions - I mean who darns socks these days?!?! But when did people become a disposable commodity? When did it become ok to give up on, discard or throw away someone you've invested time and energy with (and vice versa) just because someone better has come along or you've gotten bored or things got tough or (my personal favourite) you were caught out 😬. I am categorically not saying that people ought to stay in bad relationships or situations (although I've no doubt this will be inferred) or that everyone who comes into someone's inbox/life DESERVES a place in it. I am saying that we REALLY need to stop treating it as disposable. If you've got something good why would you want to continue to look for the next good thing? My belief on it is that we should put some work in, darn our ***y socks and perhaps we'll realise that disposability and treating people as throw away objects isn't a good thing, perhaps we'll realise that sometimes things are worth working at be it long distance or honesty or vulnerability or anything else. If there's a connection (that is safe and non toxic) then build on that, don't dispose of it. I look forward to other people’s thoughts, opinions and perspectives and happily invite respectful discussion of the topic. Irrespective of your opinion I am happy to hear it provided it isn’t offensive or rude. Love, X
Ca**** Posted October 15 Absolutely agree. EVERYTHING has been disposable for so long, it's just an aspect of the "mindless consumer" society we have created. I've always believed it was sad and destructive. It's cheaper to replace than fix, that's true of people now, too. Choice paralysis is a pandemic, so many options, and I don't want to commit to something today and find something better tomorrow. I PERSONALLY value people who make the attempt to be more than a mindless consumer, unfortunately that means I live a lonely life.😄
Co**** Posted October 15 We live in a society of perfection. Nothing just is how it is People want everything to be perfect and if its not they toss it aside and get a new one. Including people. There's always an easy way out. Relationships mean nothing.
il**** Posted October 15 Unfortunately we do live in a society of disposable people and it breaks my heart every day. Makes me live a lonely life and one full of addiction. I am actually checking in to rehab this week because of this
sm**** Posted October 15 Society has become a quick online fix and people just either now not capable or unwilling to put time and effort in to things. It's not just the scene but society in general. Everything is quick fix, no real attachment then once the quick fix and buzz of something has worn off, it's off to the next fix, like social junkies. It's the same for entertainment, no substance just quick soundbites. Online you can hide behind the screen, just look at facebonk ermmm Facebook and Instagram especially picture perfect lives and pictures.
ju**** Posted October 15 I think over time, people found it easier to do away with people, i.e. ending relationships through divorce or breaking up with a partner rather than put in the work to fix the problem or even put in the work to prevent the problem. Like everything else which has become disposable - appliances, vehicles, electronics - it’s easier to replace than repair
Ca**** Posted October 15 3 minutes ago, justlooking424 said: I think over time, people found it easier to do away with people, i.e. ending relationships through divorce or breaking up with a partner rather than put in the work to fix the problem or even put in the work to prevent the problem. Like everything else which has become disposable - appliances, vehicles, electronics - it’s easier to replace than repair Indeed. Nothing is worth ANY effort at all. I'm not sure about whom that says the most. Heartbreaking for a protector, either way. No one values themselves, or each other, there's nothing left which I feel the need to protect. Made me sick coming home from war and having to live in the society I fought to protect.😢
DarkArts1066 Posted October 15 I believe that we live in an age of apathy. An age of desensitisation, where peoples’ feelings are often disregarded. Many people have become very self centred and as a result, there is a sense of disposability creeping into relationships. That may sound harsh and disparaging, but before you pooh-Pooh it completely, give it some consideration. X
sardonicus87 Posted October 15 “As the entrepreneur of its own self, the neoliberal subject has no capacity for relationships with others that might be free of purpose. Nor do entrepreneurs know what purpose-free friendship would even look like.” . – Byung-Chul Han
Wo**** Posted October 15 I was always like this until I found my person everyone has sex for pleasure but forgot to connect spiritually aswell so it's meaningless and disposable and it's so easy to cheat these days with apps smartphones and lust>temptation everywhere!
Da**** Posted October 15 Yes indeed increasingly reshaping culture of disposability, objectification , instant gratification and dopamine chasing rather then any forms of substance, integrity, depth, perseverance, patience and chipping away the impurities to cut a perfect gem in togetherness. Both sides lose in such equations as opportunity for calibration, refinement, sitting with discomfort, leaning into what hurts and developing something better in ourselves will be minimised and lost in translation.
Ca**** Posted October 15 1 minute ago, DaddyUchoose said: Yes indeed increasingly reshaping culture of disposability, objectification , instant gratification and dopamine chasing rather then any forms of substance, integrity, depth, perseverance, patience and chipping away the impurities to cut a perfect gem in togetherness. Both sides lose in such equations as opportunity for calibration, refinement, sitting with discomfort, leaning into what hurts and developing something better in ourselves will be minimised and lost in translation. Love it!
CopperKnob Posted October 15 I think perhaps relationships are much more transactional than they were say in my parents generation. They were also a necessity. If you see something as a commodity, you'll also see them as disposable because they've become non human.
Su**** Posted October 15 I often feel this way because I will talk with someone... meet them.. then I get ghosted. Or they only want sex no relationship. Or they have someone already. Favorite is finding out they are married. We are all adults. Honesty and communication are key. But the inconsistency is crazy.. wait a month and ask what am I doing.. I don't think I'm asking too much.. but maybe I am
Ca**** Posted October 15 4 minutes ago, Subkitty7714 said: I often feel this way because I will talk with someone... meet them.. then I get ghosted. Or they only want sex no relationship. Or they have someone already. Favorite is finding out they are married. We are all adults. Honesty and communication are key. But the inconsistency is crazy.. wait a month and ask what am I doing.. I don't think I'm asking too much.. but maybe I am Right! People won't even afford you the courtesy of acknowledging you, anymore. You don't have to agree with me, but at least let me know I was heard.
Su**** Posted October 15 3 minutes ago, CasualPlay said: Right! People won't even afford you the courtesy of acknowledging you, anymore. You don't have to agree with me, but at least let me know I was heard. I am still a person with feelings. And I have become very skeptical of people I talk to on here.
Ca**** Posted October 15 3 minutes ago, Subkitty7714 said: I am still a person with feelings. And I have become very skeptical of people I talk to on here. Darlin, it ain't just here. People treat each other like that face to face. It blows my fucking mind! When I was growin up, that would have gotten you knocked the fuck out. Is THIS better?😅
Su**** Posted October 15 3 minutes ago, CasualPlay said: Darlin, it ain't just here. People treat each other like that face to face. It blows my fucking mind! When I was growin up, that would have gotten you knocked the fuck out. Is THIS better?😅 I know. I'm not in a hurry to find someone but I am still talking to people and make sure that they are even interested in what I am doing. Like outside of the bedroom. And I've been told that I'm stupid of i think I'll find a relationship on this app
Ca**** Posted October 15 5 minutes ago, Subkitty7714 said: I know. I'm not in a hurry to find someone but I am still talking to people and make sure that they are even interested in what I am doing. Like outside of the bedroom. And I've been told that I'm stupid of i think I'll find a relationship on this app I get it. I've boycotted social media since it was created, but after 8 years of being turtled inside myself through a bad marriage I felt the need to reach out for SOME kind of connection. Oh I know I'll try making a connection on Facebook. That. Was. Stupid.🤣
Se**** Posted October 15 Author 7 minutes ago, Subkitty7714 said: I know. I'm not in a hurry to find someone but I am still talking to people and make sure that they are even interested in what I am doing. Like outside of the bedroom. And I've been told that I'm stupid of i think I'll find a relationship on this app Me too, more than once. Now in fairness I don’t use this as a dating app per se, but I do believe that relationships with real meaning ought to be/are a possibility on here. I do not see it as a casual/hook up site - fine for others if they do but just be honest about that from the get go.
Ca**** Posted October 15 4 minutes ago, SerendipitousKeeper said: Me too, more than once. Now in fairness I don’t use this as a dating app per se, but I do believe that relationships with real meaning ought to be/are a possibility on here. I do not see it as a casual/hook up site - fine for others if they do but just be honest about that from the get go. Agreed. Don't get me wrong, casual meaningless hookups can be fun. However everyone wants a deeper connection (not necessarily with everyone) and there's no "same day delivery" for that. Connections have to happen organically. Only then will they have value enough to hold on.
Si**** Posted October 15 We are all replaceable it would seem nowadays. I think I've accepted the fact I will remain single and I'm not overly bothered by that anymore. It doesn't matter if IRL or some app everyone in my experience is fickle and as soon as the next pretty face/body/cock comes along you're out the window
Ar**** Posted October 15 You've written and explained this especially well, and very much hit the nail on the head. It really is shit how people treat one another 😔
id**** Posted October 15 To sum it up the matrix in a sense is real it's just hidden in plain sight gotta escape it how do you do that seek understanding and you start to seperate yourself
Sh**** Posted October 15 Well, unfortunately, you're right. In relationships, I'm rejected and traded, sometimes for a newer, prettier model, and sometimes simply because of my interest in spanking and BDSM. I think I've even become a little afraid to commit to a relationship and I think I'll stay single because I've been withdrawn for a while now and find it hard to trust anyone. But that's just one aspect of my life. Even though I don't have a higher education, I see that many of my friends and family rely on my ideas and advice and appreciate my knowledge, which is nice and motivating for me. At work, I also have good relationships with my superiors and am appreciated and treated well, even though I'm just a driver. And all of this combined makes me quite happy with my life, even though it's a bit empty.
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