Tr**** Posted October 21 Ladies, how do you like to be messaged for the first time? What catches your eye in the flood of DM's. I am usually kind, and point something out in that person's profile, but always get left on read. What makes a first message something that might get a response?
ge**** Posted October 21 You're asking a question to which there is no single answer - everyone is different and likes different things, and different ways of being approached. . The only constants are being respectful and considerate, not being demanded and all the other ethically right steps. . After many years of using sites like this, I can tell you that sending messages blind is one of the most fruitless approaches going anyway. . Getting involved in the forums/chat rooms or getting along to local Munches are by far and away a better way of approaching this. . People will check out your profile before responding anyway, they may decide based on that that you're not for them for any number of reasons. . Your best option if you insist on going down the messaging blind route is to send whatever you think will work and then forget you sent it.
Ca**** Posted October 21 The most common response I've seen to this question is common sense. Don't approach anyone trying to be "Supa playa" or think something you say is gonna immediately drop the panties. Just like in real life, be yourself, be honest and genuine. If they don't like you, that's their prerogative. Don't walk around thinking you're gods gift to women and that will set you apart from every other juvenile swinging dick out there trying to fuck anything that moves.😄 Human interaction isn't complicated, everyone is just out of practice because we've removed the "human" from the interaction.
Mo**** Posted October 21 I personally like it when someone has clearly read my profile and includes something in that and then makes the conversation fun and asks something that isn't the typical "how are you?". Preferably non-sexual to begin with. I will usually take it in that route when I am comfortable anyway. Hope this helps!
ey**** Posted October 21 when there's been threads like this in the past - it's been difficult to get much feedback for a simple reason Every woman who comments on the thread gets their inbox blown up by thirsty dudes "following her instruction" - previously this has included an OP. Some women are aware of this, so don't even risk commenting. But the truth is. There's no magic wand or universal solution and of course even the most 'perfect' of messages might still be left on (or un) read if she's simply not interested for any reason. Again, the amount of women who've replied "aww, thanks for the message but I'm not interested" and then received *** makes that less worthwhile. So simple, in general. Read her profile. Twice. In your message keep it brief (she don't the magna carta) but make it count - give a little about you (only needs a little, the rest she can gather from a well filled out profile and pictures) and potentially something which has shown you've read her profile and are interested in her. Asking a question is more likely to lead into a response, so long as the question isn't small talk (how are you, how as your day, what are you here for, etc.) so for example if her profile says she likes Dr Who and you like Dr Who ask her about it - or whatever other mutual interests can spark convo.
Ca**** Posted October 21 2 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said: when there's been threads like this in the past - it's been difficult to get much feedback for a simple reason Every woman who comments on the thread gets their inbox blown up by thirsty dudes "following her instruction" - previously this has included an OP. Some women are aware of this, so don't even risk commenting. But the truth is. There's no magic wand or universal solution and of course even the most 'perfect' of messages might still be left on (or un) read if she's simply not interested for any reason. Again, the amount of women who've replied "aww, thanks for the message but I'm not interested" and then received *** makes that less worthwhile. So simple, in general. Read her profile. Twice. In your message keep it brief (she don't the magna carta) but make it count - give a little about you (only needs a little, the rest she can gather from a well filled out profile and pictures) and potentially something which has shown you've read her profile and are interested in her. Asking a question is more likely to lead into a response, so long as the question isn't small talk (how are you, how as your day, what are you here for, etc.) so for example if her profile says she likes Dr Who and you like Dr Who ask her about it - or whatever other mutual interests can spark convo. Well spoken
FE**** Posted October 21 Please don't feed the trolls. I have cleaned up this thread, keep it helpful and on-topic
li**** Posted October 21 They must show me they've read my profile to get a response. And then when it comes to meeting irl I choose based on chemistry, compatibility and lack of red flags.
Da**** Posted October 21 1 hour ago, eyemblacksheep said: when there's been threads like this in the past - it's been difficult to get much feedback for a simple reason Every woman who comments on the thread gets their inbox blown up by thirsty dudes "following her instruction" - previously this has included an OP. Some women are aware of this, so don't even risk commenting. But the truth is. There's no magic wand or universal solution and of course even the most 'perfect' of messages might still be left on (or un) read if she's simply not interested for any reason. Again, the amount of women who've replied "aww, thanks for the message but I'm not interested" and then received *** makes that less worthwhile. So simple, in general. Read her profile. Twice. In your message keep it brief (she don't the magna carta) but make it count - give a little about you (only needs a little, the rest she can gather from a well filled out profile and pictures) and potentially something which has shown you've read her profile and are interested in her. Asking a question is more likely to lead into a response, so long as the question isn't small talk (how are you, how as your day, what are you here for, etc.) so for example if her profile says she likes Dr Who and you like Dr Who ask her about it - or whatever other mutual interests can spark convo. The ROI on this approach is very small. And you know it. But hey, isn’t it pretty to think so.
Th**** Posted October 21 Read profiles, @eyemblacksheep suggestion of reading it twice is solid. I'd say at *least* twice. What catches my attention is when someone has obviously read my profile and actually taken in the information. When they've actually had the consideration to fill theirs out, including writing a bit about themselves in the "about me" portion and they seem interesting. Authenticity is appealing, I dislike profiles that read as if they've written what they *think* will get someone's attention. Women usually do the no response is a response thing due to usually getting, at minimum, rude to outright abusive reactions from men when they give a polite rejection. There's no way of knowing how any given man is going to react, so it's safest to not respond at all.
CopperKnob Posted October 21 17 minutes ago, ThaliaV said: Read profiles, @eyemblacksheep suggestion of reading it twice is solid. I'd say at *least* twice. What catches my attention is when someone has obviously read my profile and actually taken in the information. When they've actually had the consideration to fill theirs out, including writing a bit about themselves in the "about me" portion and they seem interesting. Authenticity is appealing, I dislike profiles that read as if they've written what they *think* will get someone's attention. Women usually do the no response is a response thing due to usually getting, at minimum, rude to outright abusive reactions from men when they give a polite rejection. There's no way of knowing how any given man is going to react, so it's safest to not respond at all. And dont simply repeat what someone's written in their profile. I know what's in mine, it's been the same for a good couple of years. Repeating it parrot fashion is no better than not reading it. Use it to ask questions, challenge it etc etc etc. . Also, commenting on something in the profile isn't being 'kind,' you arent doing charity work 🙄 It's called taking the time to pay attention.
ey**** Posted October 21 4 hours ago, Dante_88 said: The ROI on this approach is very small. And you know it. But hey, isn’t it pretty to think so. When you speak in ROI it gets very transactional - and actually, I end up over the course of a year doing a lot of play. So. Hey. There was a woman a few years ago, now it's important to mention she was a Pro Domme but for a two year period she replied to every single message she got but she categorised them all by effort and general approach. Those which were low effort were less likely to end in a booking and more likely to turn unpleasant. (low effort being your "Hey!" on One liners) those which were high effort were more likely to end in a booking AND in fewer messages AND were less likely to turn unpleasant. She took this to rein*** she wouldn't reply to any old shite in the hope it went somewhere - obviously in her case it's kinda different because she will reply to the good messages not thinking about long term futures and so on, but worth accepting a paid booking - yes/no - but it remains. Those who sent low effort messages were a poor return on her time. On this site I can tell you my ROI over the past 2 years. Of cases where I made the first move, things went somewhere 66% of the time. This isn't just "got a reply" but went somewhere. Sixty-Six Percent. Two in Three. But there is a little extra I'm not saying. I am EXTREMELY selective on who I reach out to. That I ask am I interested in them. Would they be interest in me? If they are based 200 miles away (reasonable travel distance) and want a long term mono relationship - I am no good for them because I can only offer ad hoc, one-off or non mono. So I don't reach out. However cool I think they are. Sometimes. Maybe. There are those who MIGHT be, "you know what Blacksheep - I wanted someone long term and exclusive - but you can suck my toes, eat me out, beat me, play with me" but I don't speculatively reach out expecting flexibility. And that gives a good success rate. Even if it could be better again if I reached out more.
Da**** Posted October 22 1 hour ago, eyemblacksheep said: When you speak in ROI it gets very transactional - and actually, I end up over the course of a year doing a lot of play. So. Hey. There was a woman a few years ago, now it's important to mention she was a Pro Domme but for a two year period she replied to every single message she got but she categorised them all by effort and general approach. Those which were low effort were less likely to end in a booking and more likely to turn unpleasant. (low effort being your "Hey!" on One liners) those which were high effort were more likely to end in a booking AND in fewer messages AND were less likely to turn unpleasant. She took this to rein*** she wouldn't reply to any old shite in the hope it went somewhere - obviously in her case it's kinda different because she will reply to the good messages not thinking about long term futures and so on, but worth accepting a paid booking - yes/no - but it remains. Those who sent low effort messages were a poor return on her time. On this site I can tell you my ROI over the past 2 years. Of cases where I made the first move, things went somewhere 66% of the time. This isn't just "got a reply" but went somewhere. Sixty-Six Percent. Two in Three. But there is a little extra I'm not saying. I am EXTREMELY selective on who I reach out to. That I ask am I interested in them. Would they be interest in me? If they are based 200 miles away (reasonable travel distance) and want a long term mono relationship - I am no good for them because I can only offer ad hoc, one-off or non mono. So I don't reach out. However cool I think they are. Sometimes. Maybe. There are those who MIGHT be, "you know what Blacksheep - I wanted someone long term and exclusive - but you can suck my toes, eat me out, beat me, play with me" but I don't speculatively reach out expecting flexibility. And that gives a good success rate. Even if it could be better again if I reached out more. I see. So just reduce the denominator. Fair enough. lol. Good luck 🍀
ey**** Posted October 22 16 hours ago, Dante_88 said: I see. So just reduce the denominator. Fair enough. lol. Good luck 🍀 play date scheduled for next Tues But yep. Sometimes guys complain women are "too selective" and the issue is often men are not selective enough. The idea of course if you message 100+ people over a radius of whatever that you must get at least a couple of responses. And the kinda issue is that women know guys do this in many ways, and it puts some off. Of course the scammers and sellers always reply - and for anyone legit who does kinda go "you know what..." the odds of being compatible are slim (and what if all 100 replied? that would be some crazy ass plate spinning) But yeah, even if 1 goes somewhere, it's like 1%. Poor. But if you look at someone and are like "man, you're cool - and I love what you write on the forums, but, ack - you want this and I can't do that - or I want this and you can't do that - and it's too different to have flexibility" then, yep. Suddenly, it's the odd person who really interests you now and then.
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