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Munch Notes/Agenda - Swinging and Open Relationships - 23rd July 2020


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*Yet more  back dated Munch Notes for everyone's reference and for any further discussion and query here.   Many thanks to @PixieDust and @lil-monster for all their behind the scenes work on these and for digging these out of the archives *

Host: @PixieDust

Content Contributors: @PixieDust, @sweet***sub, @MossyBoy, @Donnykinkster


Swinging and open relationships are remarkably similar to BDSM in the fact that they both require consent, lots of trust, clear and honest communication, respect of others and their boundaries which in turn allows lots of good old sexy fun. 

1.     There are many types of Swinging and Open relationships what do you think some of them might be?


·        Only one half of the couple plays

·        Some will only partake in soft play for example no penetrative sex

·        Some won’t involve kissing as they see this as too intimate to do with anyone other than their partner.

·        Some will swap partners in the same room whereas others will go to separate rooms for a more intimate experience.

·        Threesomes, Foursomes, Moresomes

·        Some will only swing at special parties or clubs

·        Some will have their own swinging group


2.     If you were in a swinging, what do you think you would allow your partner to do? What rules and boundaries would you put in place?


·        Full partner swap

·        Soft swap

·        Kissing or no kissing

·        Would you rather watch or not see what your partner was doing?

·        Would you like to pick who your partner swings with?


3.     What things would you have to consider if you were looking at another couple/s to play with?

·        Would all parties need to be attracted to each other?

·        If one party was Bi, what would be the boundaries be?

·        Would privacy and confidentiality be required?


Each swinging group is different on how their night of activities play out.  For example, they may sit down chat and have a few drinks first, then pair off one by one or they may choose to throw their names into a bowl and pick one by one who goes with who. They may also swap during the night. 


4.     If you had the option to choose to, do you think  you would have a preference?


5.     In an open relationship, would you place the same limits on what your partner could and couldn’t do?  Would you give them free reign to see who they like and when?


6.     What safety aspects would you need to consider if you were swinging or in an open relationship?

·        For example:- all parties are healthy and have had STD checks

·        What about protection? 

·        What about emotional attachments? 


Swinging and open relationship can often be the catalyst for a relationship to end especially when jealousy comes into it.


7.      How jealous do you think you would feel?  How would it make you feel to see your partner having a better time with others than with you?  Could you handle it? Do you feel you would have regrets?


8.     You have taken the step to swing or to have an open relationship, what about the weeks afterwards? What happens if you loved it, yet your partner didn’t or vice versa do you continue?


9.     What’s a healthy way to deal with all the emotions you might be feeling?


Many clubs hold swinging nights and private parties.  This allows members to meet and play if they so choose in more club type environment.  They will have separate rooms for people who want just play.  Rooms for people who just want to watch and dark rooms or rooms for example where maybe you don’t know who you are playing with. 


10.  If you had the opportunity to swing would you prefer the comfort of your home or another’s or would you prefer the club type scene? What do you think some of the benefits of a club setting?


·        In these clubs there are certain etiquettes to follow, for example some clubs you need and invitation to be a member.

·        Some clubs have rooms that have farm doors which are closed and only members of staff can enter just to check if everyone is ok.

·        Other than staff, If a door is closed no one else can enter.

·        If the top of the farm door is open people can view play but not enter.

·        If the farm door is completely open members can be invited to join in play but not enter without invitation

·        Uninvited people are normally asked to leave by club members and or staff

·        You also have the safety aspect of staff being available if any issues arise.


Swinging and open relationships is more about the sexual experience rather than forming meaningful relationships.  BDSM elements can dip into the world of swinging and open relationships but it normally boils down to each individual relationship and dynamic on how that plays out. 


11. How do you feel aspects of BDSM can play out?  Do limits and boundaries apply? Or is a different set required?


12. Do you think it would be harder for a single person to enter the world of swinging? What sort of obstacles do you think they would face?


Swinging is a multi-verse on its own.  Like BDSM , there are many dedicated chat and web sites, where you can join in chats and discussions on the topic and meet other likeminded folk which can lead to play sessions.


13.If a social was on offer would you go?  Or as a couple would you prefer to create your own meet & greet as way of interviewing potential swing partners?


14.Knowing a bit more about swinging and open relationships do you think it would be something you would ever consider trying?


15.Any other thoughts?



Great work everyone. It is always great to see so many notes as it provides a resource for people to look back on in the future,

Excellent work all of you, loved the points raised here, :clap::clapping::relieved:

Any questions raised or comments do not hesitate to ask below all.

  • 1 month later...

I think this would be a great resource to print for beginners or first timers. It's so much more acceptable than when we started but we are still at it it's v been 21 yrs strill trying new things. That's a great checklist/article. Could I copy your text and print it I know a couple who could use this read. Would you All mind ?

Posted (edited)
18 hours ago, TnALOVES2PLAY said:

I think this would be a great resource to print for beginners or first timers. It's so much more acceptable than when we started but we are still at it it's v been 21 yrs strill trying new things. That's a great checklist/article. Could I copy your text and print it I know a couple who could use this read. Would you All mind ?

Certainly TnA, while the 4 other people mentioned above created this, I am sure no one would mind if you printed this and used it to educate. That is the whole point, after all.

Better education makes for safer play. 9_9:clapping:

Edited by Thebian
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