Is a Dom a Sub?

[Sc****]

A dom/sub relationship is fundamentally a give-and-take commitment; the synergy between partners is in constant ebb and flow. So looking at it from your perspective... Both Dom and sub are each merely half of the same whole and cannot adequately fulfill their respective role without the other. In my opinion

[WLondonGirl]

3 hours ago, Coupleforplay said:

Even in your examples, there would have been prior agreement and safe words. So again the Dom can only Dom because the Sub has agreed to that level.

As Eyemablacksheep said earlier,  the dom,  or in your situation, the Service Top,  also has to consent.  They have the ability to stop play as much,  if not more than, the sub does.    

[Ar****]

4 hours ago, Coupleforplay said:

Quite right. You’ve hit my point directly on the head with a better example too 😊

If that was your point, I'm glad it's been made clear but it's still a no from me - speaking partly as a D-type who has stopped sessions and withdrawn previously discussed consent.

 

4 hours ago, Coupleforplay said:

Even in your examples, there would have been prior agreement and safe words. So again the Dom can only Dom because the Sub has agreed to that level.

Similarly the Sub can only Sub because of what the Dom has agreed to. There is no yin without the yang.

[ey****]

5 hours ago, Coupleforplay said:

So again the Dom can only Dom because the Sub has agreed to that level.

You're strapped to a spanking bench in the dungeon.  You've done the text book checklist of what is and isn't OK.  This is very text book, and in reality - in a lot of situations it isn't done, and isn't done before every play.  

Even if you've agreed to every toy in the room.  The Dominant controls what they use. How many.  Intensity.   Like, if they tap you lightly twice then say "Play is over" - then it's over.  

Of course, yeah - there are some who will say they want a spanking warm up, then so many with which toy, then what toy - and direct when things should be changed << a valid form of play, but when the submissive is directing play (what some would call 'topping from the bottom') then again the situation is not one of "Dominance and submission" 

--

Without wishing to twist thing.  Again when you're strapped to a spanking bench in the dungeon.  If the Dominant say, touches you without consent, hits you too hard, uses a toy that WASN'T agreed to - so on - how do you stop it?  Safeword? What if they don't stop?  Even if it does, they already did something you weren't happy with.  

There's been situations where dubious consent has been used by Dominants as they've then used "the submissive was in control" as a defence.  

Like, a lot of people think they would say stop, or no, or safeword if somethign wasn't right - but then on the spot, often don't.  

[Deleted Member]

BDSM (even in 24/7 dynamics) is about playacting at things we don't really allow in society anymore.

[Ch****]

Your perfect dom appears to be topped from the bottom. But consent is always the dom, in a way...true. jenna and chrome always have a laundry list of consented to activities, but consider these two scenarios, using cunnilingus as an example:
Chrome: Im gonna eat you out.
Jenna: eep. Yes, Master!
.........
Jenna: Eat me out please, Master!
Chrome: (Chrome proceeds to flog the heck out of her)
............
Jenna: Eat me out please, Master!
Chrome: Sure thing, sugarlumps!
(Turned out to be 3...Oops)
All 3 are plausible but in the 3rd, Chrome would be subbing. Only the first 2 are dominant play. Jenna can consent to and get her cunnilingus, but only when Chrome agrees to give it...despite the consent always being present. In other words, she'll always get something she wants, but she doesnt know what that's going to be.