How to meet people?

[Ra****]

Heya! So, I'm fairly new to this whole BDSM stuff and obviously to this app in general. And I'm just mainly looking for any way I can improve my profile? I can't message people because 99/100 times I get ignored or rejected. And with the few times I do get a reply, it's most likely a bot. People don't message me first, and I'm wondering what I'm doing wrong here? Am I impatient? If my pics are bad, or I'm just not very good looking, you can tell me and I promise I won't be offended. Yes I'm desperate, if you were wondering. Anything would help! Thanks...

[Li****]

There are multiple problems.
Not a lot of people are actually searching for anything here. This is an app/website for multiple purposes and not a full dating app.
As always, women get bombarded with messages here. It can easily be triple digits per day. They just can’t answer everything unless they sacrifice all of their free time.
It is hard enough to match with someone without also matching the kinks. So in this regard I would say it’s even harder here. And the kinky lifestyle depends on a lot of trust, and it’s quite hard to get that through digital dating.
Being desperate doesn’t help either. But don’t worry, most of us been there.
It just takes a lot of time and a lot of luck. You can’t *** it, you need to be patient.
And while doing that, you need to be yourself

[Bi****]

You’re way to young to be a crazy cat guy 😉
And learn to be more patient. You’re here for just one week. Some people need months or even years to find a match.

[Si****]

I don't know, I'm having similar problems. It feels borderline impossible to find someone to date who's also kinky.

[ey****]

guys rarely get messaged first.

if you are messaging people then be aware some get a lot of messages, and it often pays to be selective in who you message. 

But also don't rely on online alone, consider partaking in a local kink community 

[Bi****]

5 hours ago, SirL_anon said:

I don't know, I'm having similar problems. It feels borderline impossible to find someone to date who's also kinky.

You’re here since 9 days!?!

[Si****]

38 minutes ago, BiginBerlin said:

You’re here since 9 days!?!

Haha true, I'm not talking about this app specifically. I've ended up here because I haven't had success yet elsewhere.

That being said I think eyembalcksheep is right. Local munches might be the scariest option but I feel like it'll be less exhausting and more successful than online dating.

[Bi****]

22 minutes ago, SirL_anon said:

Haha true, I'm not talking about this app specifically. I've ended up here because I haven't had success yet elsewhere.

That being said I think eyembalcksheep is right. Local munches might be the scariest option but I feel like it'll be less exhausting and more successful than online dating.

I doubt it, but either way, you got to bring a little more patience.
I mean, you guys are so ***y young. When I was your age online dating was just in the making and for some reason it replaced the traditional get to know each other via school, job and bars. So, I am not really convinced that going out will be more efficient, but try your luck.

I can tell you what helped me to find the perfect match: Stop looking for it, start living your life, then things will come naturally.

[ey****]

44 minutes ago, SirL_anon said:

That being said I think eyembalcksheep is right. Local munches might be the scariest option but I feel like it'll be less exhausting and more successful than online dating.

the thing with munches, like, they still require a level of patience and settling in.  But you know everyone who is there is both real and gonna show - cos they're there.   

[Ka****]

I would say, get rid of the cat pictures and the pictures of you with what looks like *** on your face. Other than that, don't be afraid of Rejection, everybody gets rejected sometimes. Keep messaging people anyway, and don't take it personally.

[SR****]

Tuesday at 04:50 AM, Karan_1 said:

I would say, get rid of the cat pictures and the pictures of you with what looks like *** on your face. Other than that, don't be afraid of Rejection, everybody gets rejected sometimes. Keep messaging people anyway, and don't take it personally.

Can you advise me too!

[sm****]

It takes time and patients, sometimes lots of either.  But don't keep your search to online sites, try and get to local events and get your face known in the real world.  Even then it takes time to build trust and for others to open up and open new avenues for you.  Online is quite draining as tbh a high percentage of people you will be trying to contact will have their own specifics and usually totally inundated with requests.  Do try and attend a much or two, dip your toes in socially.  Let people know you over times.

[wa****]

Trying to meet people on here advice please

[nancyask]

my first date was a guy i meet on line and we were friends  my hubby knew and told me i should meet him for a drink it was just friends  well he asked to meet me so i said ok but just drinks at my house  i was very nerves got a new dress and was so shy when he showed up tom my hubby was behind me as gary walked in he hugged me right away and said i was so cute we sat talking on the couch tm went to get us wine and gary kissed me

[Gi****]

Yes! I need help too

[Be****]

Its so hard to find someone..especially someone honest

[Fe****]

I'm from a small town (2 stoplights) and recently moved to a city, but after years here it's still kinda small. I'm extremely Neurospicy (AuDHD, CPTSD and anxiety) and I'm not really one to leave my home, or even get online to meet new people. Honestly, I'm terrified!!

That being said, I've lived the Brat-life my whole 47 years and never knew it. All I knew was my mouth wrote checks my ass had to defend against.

So how can I make it less terrifying for me to actually meet people. (Even writing this took me hours)

[Me****]

Oh boy, i think to find someone is impsible. I understand that womans are bombarded with messages but how come there is not one message or answer.? Not 1. I know there wont be 100 of them, but not single one! Nothing. I dont know have it is for you but i think i will leave this app. I have a feeling that is not working or problem is in me. I am doing something wrong. But i see there are many people with same problem. Thanks.

[th****]

I know how you feel it’s hella hard to meet people. Most of them are ugly or creepy and not my type and if they are they usually just mess me about.

[MistressWhipplash]

My advice is don't make the first topic kink or sex/sexting. Chat respectfully.
Actually meeting people I go to listed munches and fetish clubs near me.

[MistressWhipplash]

Also don't offer to "serve" which means you want kinky play from a stranger. Way too forward. I block folk who talk kink as a first topic.

[Th****]

In most bigger cities there are munches and educational classes to meet people who are like minded and enjoy BDSM. I have met many friends and play partners there. It is much easier to talk to kinky people as they have the same wants as you do. Just don’t be creepy.

[talongunship]

Glah to confirm this is an exceptionally inefficient process. My first day returning here I met someone who I did breathplay with a week later. Havent seen her since. Definitely odd people choose to make an account here and then not actually reply to someone merely saying "hello". Been instablocked more often than replied to at all. Had a polite instant decline all of once. Glad to confirm I'm doing everything correctly it's just inefficient and I had a very unusual fluke right off the bat.

[talongunship]

Sadly doing group events is a nonstarter for various reasons. I've proven it is possible though. Just need more information.

[mi****]

Honestly it does suck trying to attract attention on an online site, in the real world when put in the situation or presence of someone, can get a vibe or sense of how I need to approach someone but on these things where you gotta shoot in the dark and hope your approach was aimed at the right one..😵‍💫😵🥴😜