Advice on shame

[ka****]

Does anyone have advice on what helped them overcome "Catholic Guilt" when it comes to being comfortable admitting/talking about being a kinky human?

[Ev****]

I decided before all the information came out that the hold on us that the church had was wrong, freed myself starting there. So much more has constantly come out over the church and I just don't subscribe to their dogma. Move on, no one to impress but yourself and start embracing who you are. Certainly Not Labels.

[jo****]

Yeah I was *** fed catholicism from k-12 and never read a single word in the Bible or anything else that wasn’t invented by Man to cause ppl to feel shame and keep that donation plate filling up on sundays.

[theSir_ObservingU]

Therapy or healing.

[ne****]

Such a relevant question. I have a friend in late 50 who waited her prime years just for god to send in someone for her. Now she is too old. Another friend in late 30 separated not willing to even date. I believe in got only but don’t let that take over everyday things.

[Deleted Member]

I’m a recovering Irish Catholic. I live a spiritual life now. I feel, we were given our sexual desires for a reason, lets use them to their fullest, no regrets, shame or judgement

[PrinceCruel]

As a recovering Roman catholic, even therapy was hard but step by step slowly opening up helped me. I also turned to buddhism to see what other ways there were to understand our relationship to sexuality.
Going to classes-webinars on positive sexuality, consent, kink etiquette and some munch and finding a supportive community of alike kinksters was my redemption 🤣

[fi****]

They are not the ones in that need to feel guilt or shame. Unfortunately the ones who should feel guilt or shame in that faith along with jail sentences, those priests. Which unfortunately are present, are only like a .001 of their overall population, usually just get moved to a different catholic church far from their previous job. Their kinks are NOT acceptable as forms of kink. more accuratly,they commited *** and molestation of *** which is unspeakable evil. That being said doctrines of the catholic faith you must try to keep in mind, have helped many ppl find meaning. And if it's that someone is seeking the help available from the catholic church and it genuinely helps that individual achieve a life that makes them feel fulfilled and turns their soul away from evil and detriment toward a life of helping and loving others. Then the church they attend did help them, I can commend that. The problems with the catholic church are obvi, the diddlers within it, but also the system of hierarchy only passes these rapist and molesters off to another location and protects them from persecution. You must understand many will agree with all you that posted comments and I'm one that agrees, but you must remember the priests that serve God are usually99% of the time got in there to help others seeking faith and enlightment they do things for the community that you may not see yourself but they do help the poor and needy, and they will be there to genuinly be good human beings. and they themselves will probably agree with you as well. Believe me priest at my parents church is not a bad person but the shit that is in the news every few years probably makes it very difficult for him to even exit his home and he got his start doing what he does because he wanted to serve and help his community And even with all the bad shit that has surfaced with catholic church role In terrible acts throughout time, it has probably made him less of a bible thumper, and more of a human. He is not afraid to let ppl in the community see his real side like for example, he not scared to be seen gambling especially if it's a fundraiser type of event. It was actually incredible getting to see that human side of him. He would never shame someone for their sexuality. But other priests defitly will. he is unfortunately I'm afraid not willing to jump off the sinking ship, his faith is strong and at the end of the day he has to take the $ from the donation plate and pass it on to the Vatican. Knowing the man as well as I know him, he is probably very ***ed with knowing he has to give that *** to the pope. And it's too bad he deserves to be respected, regardless if you are a catholic or not for the work that he does for the community. unlike the ones that are above him that dont deserve to be held in such high regard. The bad ones are not true representatives of the faith. The bad ones are criminals. And a good priest will treat all humans equal and that is many priests and not some priest. As for freeing an individual of this shaming/ judgement pattern, that's a tough one. Maybe a priest that is there to serve his community would have the best answer.....sounds like it could be a thing.... They are getting shamed outta control by the public and media right now. Older priests have wisdom, lots of it. Be interesting the answer that they come up with Especially if they can talk about if openly.

[Ar****]

Ooohhh geez. Deconstructing religious stigma around, not only sex, but also kink/fetishes isnt generally a short trip. Finding a kink app and making a community post like this is already one of the things you can do. Physically talking and listening to people who are comfortable in their kinks/fetishes can help in showing you that it's not just you and it's not an awful thing. When you feel comfortable talking about yourself, don't worry about having to expose all of your fantasies and kinks, you can start with a soft-kink for you and see how it settles.
"~Oh no. It'd be a real shame if someone dropped a vibrator down my pants~" is sometimes fun (you can make your own variation, but lighthearted jokes can be helpful)

[Wi****]

Great episode on this on the podcast Dom Sub Living from 9/30/2024 about BDSM & Christianity.

[La****]

I threw off my religious-based shame by realizing that organized religion is garbage. Created to control the masses, and *** women into subjugation against their will. That was my path, but doesnt mean its the only path to self actualization.

[Id****]

God forgives all sins, except one - Denying him. As long as our kinks are done within the proper contexts, they're not sins. Our God is merciful and understanding. He forgives.

[Sw****]

For me, three things. 1. A friend I deeply respect who got a religious studies degree made a really great argument about the possibility of treating masturbation as a form of prayer. Hearing that made me look at our bodies differently. Doing and thinking things makes you feel good, and that can be sacred. Acknowledge that there is inherent good in embracing yourself as you were created. 2. Sharing kink experiences that felt profound. 3. A healthy distaste for Paul. I don't think he was a good influence.

[Ba****]

It depends how deep the guilt runs. Sometimes, it’s fine to just be logical with yourself, sometimes you need a therapist to help you unpack it all. That isn’t anything to feel shame for, you’re doing the work regardless and it’s something to be proud of.

[Bh****]

Mine was "Mormon" guilt. There are still some hang-ups i struggle with, but for the most part I resolved them with a combination of learning not to care what people think about me, and a spouse who had been on the scene forever and encourages me to be myself.

[kinkymasterandrew]

You could embrace it, many kinky humans pretend to be naughty and need punishment for reasonable actions that actually aren't bad at all.

[Vi****]

The video game Far cry 5 was delicious for healing religious trauma for me.

[Is****]

I’m Catholic and it’s not that that’s the guilt I can see nothing in the part of that book dealing with JC that should cause guilt. But I know what you mean. I have no one to talk about it with though…

[Deleted Member]

Girl, those priests or whoever it is and all those members of the church are the nastiest people behind closed doors. EVERYBODY is a liar you best believe that. Got over my catholic guilt quickly when i learned that most people who go to church are pretenders.

[Deleted Member]

I was raised Catholic and I guess I’ve always been the “What happens outside of church, stays outside of church,” mindset. We’re grown. It’s consensual. I’m breaking no commandments! 😂

[Pe****]

Therapy. Getting over being brainwashed by a cult is a difficult endeavor.

[Be****]

It took me many years. I’d recommend talking to as many kinksters as you can. Get involved in the community local to you.

[Deleted Member]

Ha! I am an Italian and no one know better about Roman Catholic Italian Guilt. Message me…