Nudes

[Al****]

Recently I have been thinking over an issue I find in many apps intended for adults. The issue is that people guard their nude content like the want no one to appreciate them. At first glance this may seem rational, but thinking about it caused two or three very real problems with it.

1. When looking for intimacy and play partners, it would seem misguided to be unwilling to share body images with a person you intend to be inside, or have inside you. Blind jumping into those things often leads to broken expectations. At some point we as people need to visually engage to find arousal. Then we move forward with our other senses.

2. Hiding them from appreciators seems as if it would increase scarcity and thus push unwanted attention much further. In fact it could be fuel for criminal elements to cause leaks. So saturation seems smarter in that aspect. More images = less demand.

3 In a superficial world, supporting exclusive rights to engagement seems to only fuel the fire of discrimination, shame and guilt. We are saying to everyone "you don't qualify to even look at me". That seems harmful and highly likely to circle back to problems.


I would love to hear feedback, challenges or support.

[It****]

There’s a *lot* this doesn’t take into consideration or factor in

[m3****]

This seems inherently biased towards your desires and their fulfillment, and doesn’t seem to take into account the other participants perspective at all

[bl****]

Yeah I knew this was written by a dude. So here is the thing most women I know and myself aren’t shy about sending adult pictures, however this mentality that men are owed our pictures is a huge turn of. If and when I share my body with someone is my own personal choice. And it’s gross for a man to make an entire post about demanding pictures. You know what make us more comfortable sharing ourselves with you? You not acting like we are porn stars. We are people with complex personalities and backgrounds. That girl that doesn’t want to send you a full body nude? Maybe she has scars that she doesn’t want anyone to see, maybe she’s a thick girl and her stretch marks make her feel ugly.
And don’t get me started on your reasons. If you can’t act like an adult and not engage in unwanted attention that’s a you problem. And point 3, it’s not always about you. Get over yourself and stop demanding nudes from people. Go watch porn.

[m3****]

This seems very biased towards your desires and fulfilling them, and doesn’t seem to even consider the perspective of the other participants at all

[La****]

Your take on this blows my mind 🤣

You are surprised that people who want to make a connection on a kink app might not want every Tom and Harry wanking over their pictures.

Alternative perspective. The nudes don't exist. Those private pics could be anything. If people haven't shared their private galleries with you, that's telling.

Or. People want their profiles to be read and for connections to form person to person, and not to be seen as a piece of meat.

Are you conflating a kink app with a porn site? Do you think that everyone on here views it as an online wanking site, or a kinky tinder? For many people, this place is a kink community. That would be the same as suggesting they shove their nudes up on Facebook, were it allowed.

If you want to see nudes, use a porn site. If people on here have nudes to share and aren't sharing them with you, ask yourself why. Is it your approach? Is it that you aren't what they are looking for and they actually don't want to throw their naked body out to everyone?

It is everyone's right to dictate who sees their body.

[TheBookCollector]

Or maybe they dont want intimate images grabbed and posted all over the internet for everyone to see, and be outed or blackmailed to have them set to friends and family.

[Deleted Member]

I think there is a beauty in building up someone’s comfort to be *** and intimate. In a world where there are plenty of pictures online, it’s not something special. Human bodies (especially with someone who studies art and the science of the human body) aren’t really special on their own. They all start looking the same. However, if I’m intimate with someone, that changes because their mind, spirit, and personality are mixed in. But to each their own.

[RedFoxUK]

Why on earth should someone share their body with people they don't connect with? Why not keep that kind of thing back until you 'click'. If some wants to share themselves with everyone that's fine, but it's a personal choice.

Your comment seems like it's from someone who just wants to see naked pictures, without actually making that link with someone.

[Deleted Member]

I get what you’re trying to explore, but the whole premise rests on an assumption that anyone owes visual access to their body in order to build intimacy. They don’t. Sharing nudes is about trust, personal comfort, timing, and safety, not “scarcity” or “qualification.”
People are allowed boundaries, and those boundaries don’t create shame, they create autonomy.
Intimacy isn’t built by visual previews, it’s built by communication, consent, and actual connection.

[RedFoxUK]

Oh and your three 'problems' are utter nonsense.

[me****]

You must be a man and never had someone threaten your nudes. As a woman, I’ve had men ask for nudes I send them and then a few weeks later, they blast my photos because I don’t want to see them again. I don’t send nudes unless I have met someone in person and felt like I could trust them and they not threaten things of that nature.

[Deleted Member]

I get what you’re trying to explore, but the whole premise rests on an assumption that anyone owes visual access to their body in order to build intimacy. They don’t. Sharing nudes is about trust, personal comfort, timing, and safety, not “scarcity” or “qualification.”
People are allowed boundaries, and those boundaries don’t create shame, they create autonomy.
Intimacy isn’t built by visual previews, it’s built by communication, consent, and actual connection.

[Sw****]

Say you’re mad I won’t let you look at my nudes without saying you’re mad I won’t let you look at my nudes 🙄

[AKA_Copper]

Says someone who also has no nudes on "show" for "appreciators"

[PD****]

So you feel entitled to seeing someone naked based off a conversation? That seems weird as hell. To get upset because someone isn't sending your pictures seems a little weird and off putting. Just because someone may want to explore their sexuality doesn't mean they want everyone to see every inch of their bodies. Respect people's bodies and boundaries

[PD****]

Just because I may be looking for someone to have some good clean fun, doesn't mean I want to show every women my package.

[Ta****]

I appreciate your views but this does seem very one sided as there are so many things you dont appear to have taken into account: the right to privacy until comfortable, stalker issues, trolls for a few off the top of my head but there are so many more.

[No****]

Do you really see it as an issue that people are careful and considerate whom they share their nude pictures with?!?!?! Unbelievable, I am flabbergasted at this take.

[Deleted Member]

You might want to lead by example before criticizing others discretion. Your profile just has pictures from the shoulders up, not even a full body picture.🙄 Not everyone is an exhibitionist and most people protect their identity for a reason. How people choose to display their body is their choice and not everyone is dependent on physical attraction to engage in kink.

[Ic****]

🚩yikes.

[Ti****]

Yeah im gonna go with no... i dont need random folks looking at my private photos.. if I wish to share them with someone a conversation takes place before hand.. consentual sharing

[im****]

This whole post treats people’s boundaries like they’re irrational instead of seeing them as basic agency. It’s sounds like something a manipulative predator would say.

From a social-psych angle, Point #2 is especially off. Scarcity doesn’t “push unwanted attention.” It does the opposite. When people know their boundaries will be respected, threat goes down. When someone argues that others should make their bodies more available so “demand goes down,” that’s entitlement dressed up as logic. It shifts responsibility from the person *wanting* the images to the person *protecting* themselves.

It also ignores safety, consent, and power. Sharing nudes—especially with new partners or strangers—isn’t just about arousal. It’s about risk, trust, and vulnerability. People have been stalked, extorted, revenge-porned, and coerced. Social-psych research is pretty clear: pressure to disclose intimate content makes people withdraw, not open up.

People guard their nude content because it’s theirs. Not yours. That’s not shame or discrimination; that’s a boundary. And if someone wants to share, they will—when they feel safe, respected, and in control.

[ac****]

1 hour ago, bluprincess19 said:

Yeah I knew this was written by a dude. So here is the thing most women I know and myself aren’t shy about sending adult pictures, however this mentality that men are owed our pictures is a huge turn of. If and when I share my body with someone is my own personal choice. And it’s gross for a man to make an entire post about demanding pictures. You know what make us more comfortable sharing ourselves with you? You not acting like we are porn stars. We are people with complex personalities and backgrounds. That girl that doesn’t want to send you a full body nude? Maybe she has scars that she doesn’t want anyone to see, maybe she’s a thick girl and her stretch marks make her feel ugly.
And don’t get me started on your reasons. If you can’t act like an adult and not engage in unwanted attention that’s a you problem. And point 3, it’s not always about you. Get over yourself and stop demanding nudes from people. Go watch porn.

Well said

[Curiously_Exploring]

Meanwhile, back in the real world...
Most of us are living in patriarchal societies.
There is a real risk for women, every time they share nudes.
Things we have to consider:
What if they end up in the wrong hands?
What if they are used against me as blackmail?
What if my workplace sees them, and I'm fired?
What if I ask the recipient to delete them, and they don't?
What if someone inappropriate sees them, and targets me in a harassment campaign?

The list goes on.
Maybe you need to try wngaging with women as human beings, rather than as somewhere to put your d**k?