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Have no idea where to start or end.


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I am interested in exploring everything. I have no idea what I like. I’m trying some things out but I don’t know if it’s with the right person as I don’t feel safe or respected at times. For sure certain lines have been crossed yet I still continue. I do not wish to perpetuate any trauma or *** on any party involved. This should be fun and it’s not. I’d like to stop or take a step back but it seems that I just can’t. I’d like to just turn off my brain and do as I’m told or turn on my brain and ask the appropriate people for help but that’s just not happening.
Communication is key don't just jump in talk it over with your partner to establish boundaries. Start easy then work your way up.
If you do not feel safe or respected, it's not with the right person. Even with things like CnC, primal play, impact play, or bondage -- or any number of scary or dangerous kinks -- safety and comfort is still a huge part. Maybe not physical comfort, but it should never be to the point where you genuinely feel unsafe. If you are seriously feeling unsafe and disrespected at times (plural!) the best advice you can be given is to stop any contact with the person making you feel that way. As for where to start; go small and work up from there. Praise/***, roleplaying, gags, hot/cold/ice play, etc. Find out what you like, and explore from there. Anything small.
If you have any hesitation then that is not where you should start - that's actually where you should end it.
Believe me there are plenty of good Kinksters that are eagerly willing to help you find your pleasures. Don't linger where you are not feeling safe - run!
Why can’t you take a step back? If you don’t feel safe you should be saying so. Safewording if necessary. If the person involved isn’t a good fit try another one.
Stop and take some time to be with yourself, to heal and discover yourself, your strength and areas of less strength.
If already when testing the water you feel confused, your brain is sending you the message that you are missing a step.
Maybe later on your path you will be able to include your new games in your journey of self growth ( and I can tell you how powerful it got) but when I started I was in a wrong mind frame and burnt myself, adding to the *** and trauma while hurting others.
Wait, the dungeon will still be there when you return.
I’m wondering if your communication with each other has been sufficient? Trust, safety and communication cannot exist without each other. Please take care.
Thank you everyone. I have ended things with this person. I definitely need to take my time with this moving forward.
Paralysis by analysis 🤣I made myself a list from as basic to very kinky & started from there. For me it starts with seduction & teasing & building trust.
Your profile shows you leaning towards the dominant side. As a dominant, I’m not sure I understand your feeling unsafe, unless it’s that you’re afraid your partner might claim *** or something.
As others have mentioned, communication is paramount in any relationship and especially in this type of relationship. I suspect you have tried being the submissive in the relationship and that is just not your thing. While I believe all dominants should experience being a submissive so they better understand that position and don’t get to aggressive in the dominant position.
If I’m correct, try taking the dominant position. They’re more submissive males out there than dominant females, so I’m sure you can find someone. As the dominant you’re in control so you don’t have to do anything that makes you feel unsafe. You can demand the respect you need and maybe incorporate punishment for short comings of respect your partner displays.
I hope you find someone safe to show your kink side to next time. Never forget you are supposed to be loved and honored no matter what.
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