Popular Post MadelineRose Posted November 21 Popular Post I recently got out of an abusive relationship and I'm just wondering what it would look like.
Te**** Posted November 22 Whether in a positive or negative way, the important thing is that it excites you and that you desire it.
Vi**** Posted November 22 Risk awareness, Concent and care is what makes it healthy. You get to have limits, safaewords and aftercare.
Si**** Posted November 22 I know this will be a weird way to answer but ChatGPT is incredibly useful to working out whether it's healthy or not
Bl**** Posted November 22 It’s definitely all about consent and what you both agree about before you start
DY**** Posted November 22 Please give yourself time to heal before you enter into a new relationship. The lure of a safe consenting relationship is not necessarily what you will find within this community
Lo**** Posted November 22 Limits to be respected, aftercare, mutual enjoyment and obviously snacks afterwards
sardonicus87 Posted November 22 It looks like any kind of healthy relationship: lot of communication and respect of boundaries, attentive to needs, honesty, not pushing each other to do things you don't want, etc.
Odd-1086 Posted November 22 There's a big difference between enforcing your wi on someone without consent and submitting to someone's will. It may look thr same, but yhe intent is not.
ey**** Posted November 22 "healthy" are you happy with the arrangement? Are they? Then it's probably healthy.
GenuineWill Posted November 22 It should look and be as you said in your question "healthy!". NOT ABUSIVE!
Bl**** Posted November 22 Sadist or masochist, there should still be respect and care. It’s the nature of the dynamic which both partners like.
Pr**** Posted November 22 My sub is a true masochist. It isn't a punishment/funishment for her, it's a request so that was a shift for me. I don't actually enjoy hurting her but I understood why she wants it very quickly. I take significant solace on how much peace it actually gives her. It remains within her boundaries and only gets played with when she ask or gives cues for it. As we have a lifestyle dynamic, it's a very small portion of what goes on. Everything else is extremely healthy. I think there has to be a mask worn specifically for those events and engagements that's only used as such. The rest of the time I'm more or less being a soft Dom with positivity, encouragement, and leadership. It all has to be safe with a foundation built on communication, respect, and absolutely no judgement.
my**** Posted November 22 44 minutes ago, Primalwind said: My sub is a true masochist. It isn't a punishment/funishment for her, it's a request so that was a shift for me. I don't actually enjoy hurting her but I understood why she wants it very quickly. I take significant solace on how much peace it actually gives her. It remains within her boundaries and only gets played with when she ask or gives cues for it. As we have a lifestyle dynamic, it's a very small portion of what goes on. Everything else is extremely healthy. I think there has to be a mask worn specifically for those events and engagements that's only used as such. The rest of the time I'm more or less being a soft Dom with positivity, encouragement, and leadership. It all has to be safe with a foundation built on communication, respect, and absolutely no judgement. Please know that going to that dark place to fulfill her needs will take a toll on you. Make sure your needs are being met and you keep a handle on your mental health.
au**** Posted November 22 Honestly it should look like any other relationship where you support eachother. The dynamic just means one likes to cause *** and the other likes to receive ***. The rest is "normal" care, respect, even love should not change in this case.
Pr**** Posted November 22 47 minutes ago, mythicalman said: Please know that going to that dark place to fulfill her needs will take a toll on you. Make sure your needs are being met and you keep a handle on your mental health. She does a fantastic job, but you're not wrong in most other circumstances.
Jo**** Posted November 22 It honestly depends on the agreement between you and your other. As long as the agreement is followed by both. That is healthy. Outside of the agreement is unhealthy and likely ***.
Be**** Posted November 22 Honesty, boundaries, trust. The S&M relationship is one about giving pleasure, believe it or not. Because the Maso finds pleasure in p(a)in and the Sadi finds pleasure in inflicting it. It can be as simple and beautiful as that.
Ex**** Posted November 22 Depends on how much of your identity you both want it to be. If it's just a sex thing, as it most always is, then it looks like a normal healthy relationship with lives and careers and hobbies etc, except floggers come out in the bedroom.
Odd-1086 Posted November 22 Take a responsible dog owner for example. Is it wrong to teach your dog socially acceptable behaviours. How to act in public, how to act inside, how to act at play. Would you accept a dog that bites, rushes or jumps on your friends. One that barks at the wind perhaps. These are the things the owner gets to decide what things are important and what is acceptable. How much to feed it so that it doesn't get fat or cause damage to their health. Sometimes their behaviour requires a compromise, like a dog that digs holes or jumps thr fence and goes wondering. It might need a pen or a tether to stop a bored dog from unsafe acts such as these or you might just love it enough to restrict its activities until your ready to teach or find it better ways of exhausting that pent up energy for everyone's benefit. You do this because you love it, it's not ***, but love. You respect that it's a dog, they say equal to a 4 year old, and as such you also accept certain limitations and work around those. In the end you have one of the most loving and loyal creatures on this planet. They don't say a dog is man's best friend for nothing.
ha**** Posted November 22 Basically the same as an abusive relationship with even more degrading ***d sex
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