guys or girls?

[Ta****]

should a girl message a guy first? or wait for him to message.. whats your preference?

[Deleted Member]

The idea of the guy only being the one to make the first move is a tired trope of life I feel. I would love a girl to message me first. Like, how do girls ask each other under this trope? It doesn't matter to me.

[De****]

Well in my experience most guys message girls first but girls messaging guys first is amazing and men love it

[De****]

Women usually wait for men to message first but men love it when women message first

[Deleted Member]

I personally like it when a lass messages first, and have no issues at all with that. If you like the look of someone say hello 😊

[Dr****]

Honestly, its a false trope of life thats only come up in the last 50 years. in the 1900s a woman might "accidentally" drop her handkerchief or something to give the guy whose staring a reason to come to her. I would consider that the first move lol. But it goes both ways, who cares really who makes the first move, so long as the move is made.

[Deleted Member]

Yeah honestly life would be easier if it was more acceptable for women to message first. In fact if women took over that category I feel like there would be less problems for both sexes

[yo****]

I always wait for a guy , I think it’s just my pride lol

[Cheshire]

With havin hidden disabilities I can’t always think what to say or word it right because quite a few women & I’m assuming guys as well like more than Hi how are ya or just hi. I like substance to a message so there’s something there to talk about, even if it’s about a comment you’ve made it doesn’t necessarily have to be about your profile. As Draco said it doesn’t matter who makes the first move as long as the move is made.

[4Yourboy]

It would be easier for women to message first, but look at all birds male birds have to stand out because the female chooses. Cardinals are pretty red males but females are brown. I have a speech impediment so talking to women makes me look like a dumbass up front I just tell them I'm intimidated by their beauty it helps. That's why I like the apps or texting I feel more confident to approach first because my engine doesn't skip timing with my fingers ta tal talking.

[Dr****]

An approach from a submissive is a rare but welcome treat. The position for Doms on here is that we are constantly competing for attention. Someone making the first move cuts through all that noise.

[Pleasurenerd]

In todays world i think its best for the girl to show some intrest .prove me wrong

[BaritoneSwitch]

Well, when it comes to 'messaging' first, I assume you're referring to online dating. In which case, it probably behooves us guys to remember that girls generally have a whole raft of messages to read whenever they log-in to one of these sites. So in many cases, I imagine it's a simple matter of logistics. They can scan through all of the various messages they've received and pick and choose who they want to respond to. Rather than going through profiles on the sites and pick and choosing who they want to message. That runs the risk of being shot down. Whereas selectively responding to messages that you've already received, doesn't. So I think the reason girls often don't message first is because they really don't need to. Though this is just the impression I've gotten, so ladies please, correct me if I'm wrong.

When it comes to approaching guys in person, that's a lot harder to work out. I've spoken to a few of my female friends about this and none of them do. Usually they give one of two reasons: Many are too shy, and haven't been socialized with the kind of confidence that it takes to approach an attractive stranger like that. Or, some feel that since guys generally are the ones who do the approaching, if they make the first move it feels like a comment on their desirability. Like there's something wrong with them if they have to make the first move.

Personally, I would love it if a girl made the first move, either online or in person. Hasn't happened yet though lol. But I think the situation is the way it is, for understandable reasons.

[ey****]

I think if a lady wants to reach out to a guy then this is something I think certainly should be encouraged.  

I know this can/does come with it's own problems - I know people who've made the first move and been accused of being a scammer - or - of course, the recipient has taken the wrong assumptions.

But yeah, certainly - if there's someone you want to chat to, make the first move.   And, if they turn out to be an arsehole, nothing was lost anyway

[li****]

I would always message a guy first, if I liked them, I did with my Sir @Liam52 I told him to stop sending me spanks on here lolol and the rest they say is history!!! 

I can't see why it's down to just the guy to message ladies first, if you like someone then go for it. But be creative when sending message and not just send a hi cause if anything like me I like a message that goes more than one word or one sentence. And also read a person profile fully!!!!!! And just be mindful and respectful that, that sub or Dom may already be in a dynamic.

[Wo****]

I've messaged guys first, I see nothing wrong with it. Not often, because as mentioned above, I'm not short of messages sent to me. As a meet/greeter I get even more so I get to chat to a lot of people but if someone sparks my curiosity I'll message first.

[Deleted Member]

Definitely good to be messaged from a girl but that never ever happens #equality

[Bo****]

I am extremely fortunate to have been messaged first by some fascinating females on here....made some excellent friends & enjoyed .

i have utmost respect for those empowered to feel free to message me,honoured!🙏

[Ku****]

Do what you want but only with self respect!

[ol****]

I am always happy to get a message from a lady. Does not happen that much. I guess even in kink there are still expected norms.

Oh - I should qualify what I've said. I do mean real messages, not the sort where the intent of the message is to commence catfishing or worse still start off a scam.

[Deleted Member]

With the amounts of thirsty pervs, women may refrain from first contact, and prefer to see what kind of man they're dealing with from the message he sends. But I have no problem with ladies messaging first. All of my friends, women included, approached me first. While on the other hand, when I messaged first, it didn't last for very long.

[XxBondageBabexX]

If you expect men to make the first move then you’re missing out on the ones who might be a little shy and need that nod to go for it. Don’t miss an opportunity. 😉😊

[Ar****]

I feel it should depend upon who finds and is interested in whom first. I have no qualms about messaging somebody I find interesting first and letting them know, but it is always appreciated when I am the one approached (whether I am interested or not), be it for friendship or more. If I don't know, then how am I supposed to engage in a dialogue and find out? Perhaps they had a profile I looked at but it was scarce on information and so my interest was not peaked... but that person and I may have a lot to offer one another if they were to message and open up to me.

[DaddyDom73]

I'd say if a lady wants to meet a guy go ahead and message him. She has nothing to lose and everything to gain. I do like when a lady messages me first especially if I haven't noticed her first

[Deleted Member]

If you want to connect with someone, do it; gender should play no role in it.