What’s your motives?

[ey****]

For me it is simple enough

I'm not interested in a straight up "conventional" partner

add in, I'm married albeit here with my wife's full knowledge - so I'm neither seeking nor able to offer a straight up monogamous dynamic

[je****]

Bc no one here is vanilla

[gi****]

Because I thought finding someone in the bdsm lifestyle would be easier here.
It is not.

I have found a few good people to talk to but the majority of the people think blowjobs, pulling hair, and smacking someone's ass equals kinky.

I don't want to show someone what kink is "with a hands on demonstration" or be someone to "show you the ropes har har". I want someone that has some idea of what they are doing, believe in kink education, know what RACK/PRICK are, etc.

[gi****]

8 hours ago, CopperKnob said:

It's getting more like it by the day 🫩

This is not even close to resembling fetlife

[gi****]

9 hours ago, libertybelle369 said:

Wait this isn’t fetlife?

Nope this is not related to fetlife. It would be easier if there was a section on fetlife that had dating though.

[gi****]

9 hours ago, DOMSCOTTDOM said:

A lot of women come over here just to be nosy. Or for the attention. They never had the intent of actually going through with anything. Stop giving these type of women attention.

What are you talking about? It seems more men on here are here because they think kink = easy lay

[gi****]

8 hours ago, PresentisPeculiar said:

I had two particular fetishes I wanted to explore more. I have gotten to explore those fetishes exactly zero times in here in 3 years. But I have found a ton of new ones and met and shared experiences with maybe between a dozen and 20 people, all far more interesting than the population anywhere else. And mostly positive sexual experiences, save one or two. I've maintained friendships with several. I find this place yields as much as you tend to it. S lot of guys think they can come in there and pull because kinky chicks. No. Take the tine, write a meaningful bio, dont Make sexual comments on someone's photos. If you were claiming a certain title the dominant, have a game plan or manifesto or mission statement written down can provide. I've been through someone new that you see pop on it looks like they may need help without trying to get anything from them. I've done all this very quietly in the background. ( Smoking fetish and water sports combined where the two kings that drove me into this place. Off bc hve nevdf smoked. but fetushes be that way. If you are around my day and w)9:))nt to explore or do a fetish seal nhm /*:)

If you are looking to explore fetishes, your best bet is to try FL since there are groups and encouraged meet ups.

[an****]

Because it’s hard to date when you need kink in a relationship and person has so many great qualities but you keep going back to the thoughts that you can’t CWS happy with someone who can’t give you what you need a relationship. It wouldn’t last. I was a ltr and marriage over day but I need kink in it and to be dominated. Without that I don’t see a healthy long term relationship alternative for me. So I came to an app with men who might have similar interest to me and I can be myself

[Za****]

15 hours ago, DOMSCOTTDOM said:

A lot of women come over here just to be nosy. Or for the attention. They never had the intent of actually going through with anything. Stop giving these type of women attention.

Define attention ? Some women come here to enjoy their exhibitionism . What’s wrong with that ? A lot of men come over just thinking they can get a date … more interested into when you can meet them rather than getting to know you …. It’s from both sides , not just the women 

[Sq****]

Never looked at this to be a dating app, even if I did find my partner. It was for education and growth.

[gi****]

12 hours ago, SquirrelandWrangler said:

Never looked at this to be a dating app, even if I did find my partner. It was for education and growth.

How could you NOT look at this as a dating app? It literally is.

[AKA_Copper]

32 minutes ago, girl_lynx said:

How could you NOT look at this as a dating app? It literally is.

The blurb explaining what Fetish is...
.
"Whether you’re kink curious or a life-long fetishist, you’re in the right place. Fetish.com is the place to find munches, kinksters, events and more. Membership is free so take a ***k into the dungeons and play rooms to see who you’ll find. In our forum you’re certain to find tons of like-minded people who share your fetishes.
.
Whether you're new to the FET lifestyle, or an experienced kinkster looking to develop your BDSM knowledge, the BDSM Training School is a safe place to learn and explore. Led by vetted and experienced non-risk BDSM instructors, we aim to deliver a supportive, high-quality learning experience to gain specialised knowledge and best practices in Fetish & BDSM.
.
With BDSM erotica, personal experiences and guides, we want you to fulfil your fetishes and keep you informed. Plus we have one of the fastest growing Fetish forums online. Explore and exchange your thoughts with fellow kinksters in an open and safe space. There are countless kinktastic surprises waiting for you on Fetish.com!"

[em****]

Because when you meet people on "traditional" apps, they kinda tend to freak out when you tie a bandana around their mouth

[Laycette]

3 hours ago, CopperKnob said:

The blurb explaining what Fetish is...
.
"Whether you’re kink curious or a life-long fetishist, you’re in the right place. Fetish.com is the place to find munches, kinksters, events and more. Membership is free so take a ***k into the dungeons and play rooms to see who you’ll find. In our forum you’re certain to find tons of like-minded people who share your fetishes.
.
Whether you're new to the FET lifestyle, or an experienced kinkster looking to develop your BDSM knowledge, the BDSM Training School is a safe place to learn and explore. Led by vetted and experienced non-risk BDSM instructors, we aim to deliver a supportive, high-quality learning experience to gain specialised knowledge and best practices in Fetish & BDSM.
.
With BDSM erotica, personal experiences and guides, we want you to fulfil your fetishes and keep you informed. Plus we have one of the fastest growing Fetish forums online. Explore and exchange your thoughts with fellow kinksters in an open and safe space. There are countless kinktastic surprises waiting for you on Fetish.com!"

That's a self description / sales pitch. But none of that gainsays it being a dating app which it is, whether or not it also has other functions or purposes.

[gi****]

13 hours ago, CopperKnob said:

The blurb explaining what Fetish is...
.
"Whether you’re kink curious or a life-long fetishist, you’re in the right place. Fetish.com is the place to find munches, kinksters, events and more. Membership is free so take a ***k into the dungeons and play rooms to see who you’ll find. In our forum you’re certain to find tons of like-minded people who share your fetishes.
.
Whether you're new to the FET lifestyle, or an experienced kinkster looking to develop your BDSM knowledge, the BDSM Training School is a safe place to learn and explore. Led by vetted and experienced non-risk BDSM instructors, we aim to deliver a supportive, high-quality learning experience to gain specialised knowledge and best practices in Fetish & BDSM.
.
With BDSM erotica, personal experiences and guides, we want you to fulfil your fetishes and keep you informed. Plus we have one of the fastest growing Fetish forums online. Explore and exchange your thoughts with fellow kinksters in an open and safe space. There are countless kinktastic surprises waiting for you on Fetish.com!"

I like that it has varied topics and the forums seem thriving (granted most are in German) but the other things... not really existant.
Closest event to me is over 500 miles away. If it wasn't geared to dating, it would not be talking about dungeons and play rooms 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Ar****]

9 hours ago, Laycette said:

That's a self description / sales pitch. But none of that gainsays it being a dating app which it is, whether or not it also has other functions or purposes.

An entity can be more than one thing, and - especially when the "dating app" aspect is a feature which was built on and added to Fetish.com as an extension - the relatively recent emphasis on dating doesn't take away from Fet's heart, it's history, or what large number of people still use it for. 

 

Perhaps it would be easier to look at the app as a dating tool and the site as the community, but that is also an over-simplification. The app cannot even exist in stores without being primarily an educational tool (I acknowledge that is a comment which will go over many people's heads), but more to the point if it were just a dating app then it wouldn't have so many users who are not looking to date.

 

The point has been discussed several times in these forums before; the site and the app are different things to different people. If to you it's a place to date, that's cool. Hook-up? Okay too, but don't push that onto everyone else. Learn about BDSM? Go for it. Join a community? Knock yourself out. And so on...

[Deleted Member]

There are less people and expectations can be managed in a more subtle and honest way here.

[Lu****]

World domination!... But that probably won't happen for me. But yeah! I picked this app because of traffic. This app seems to have more active users on it. ☺️

[Kd****]

I chose FET not as a dating app. I chose it hoping to learn and if ( no luck yet) I happen to find a play mate or even a long term , then thats a bonus.

[Ve****]

In my opinion it's the only site that you can get legit people to talk to.

[Pi****]

No strings attached, fuck. As opposed to a dating app. Not looking to add to our realtionshop

[Sa****]

Find chics as freaky as me

[yo****]

Motives…such as…I’m looking specifically for a pleasure Dom, and I have tried other sites - no luck. Hoping to find a match here

[JackJonesHull]

What options are there really when kink is your reality. Being upfront about your peccadilloes is a more honest approach surely.

[Deleted Member]

I’m looking for ladies who don’t have an issue w me already being in a LTR. Not going well. Lots of options hundreds of miles away tho. :(