Consensual and not spoiling the moment

[Be****]

I would like to think we are all responsible people. I would like to hear some of your thoughts on how you maintain a sense of surprise, while still maintaining consensual intimacy. All parties agree on what is going to happen and agree on activities taking place. Despite these acknowledgements, what do you do to keep the element of surprise and or anticipation real while the cat is out of the bag?

[vv****]

Discussion of limits, open consent, use of safe words.

[Da****]

Controlling the scene as a Dom and making it as enjoyable as possible. Take your time, theirs no rush. Enjoy the moment. Try blindfolding each other and only using your hands and mouth. Make it interesting and change up the norm.

[su****]

Instead of agreeing on “what’s going to happen” agree on “a menu of things that might happen.”

[Tw****]

Surprise timeline wise?
Set a few days where you all agree any of these things can happen.

Use signals (like a certain photo being left flat on a table or a bit of rope tied to a door handle) to allow the sub to indicate they are up for fun on that day?

This allows fun without verbal communication and allows anticipation to build up across a few days.

[Ma****]

have your sub write all consensual activities on a post stick and store them in a cookie jar or Pandora’s box and draw them randomly

[au****]

You plan your surprise around your partners limits and it will be ok.

[Sa****]

Make it a dice roll game

[Fi****]

Shyness

[Jo****]

Spoil the fucking moment and ensure ongoing, enthusiastic consent

[My****]

Not so much the surprise but the anticipation of what’s going to happen. I love a countdown. So many hours minutes and seconds till I’m supposed to arrive. Or even the tease, reminding me of what you’re going to do and what’s expected of me. Literally panty soaking.

[Fi****]

The nervous feelings of anticipation of possibilities of satisfaction or disappointment or the preparation of body b dress to look n be in character of anticipation and thoughts of what could possibly to be disappointed or under appreciated the build up of a perfect time is more untuned with u
Inner feeling possibly

[Pill11]

Abilene

[ey****]

A lot comes to the context of who you are playing with.   And, I guess, what the "surprise" is

The better you know someone through both play and interactions outside of play, the more you can be sure that things would be ok or well received

 

[De****]

Tat south meet ups

[Le****]

Travel with a suitcase of S&M gear and your life will be either a lot more boring or a lot less boring.

[On****]

For playpartners I have used a bdsm checklist for years and it's part of getting to know eachother from the beginning. It let's us each know our limits and curiosities, experience as well. While the list is fairly complete it is only a tool and not a replacement for conversation.