*** of male subs

[A_Switch]

In Femdom it is clear that humiliating a male sub is a turn on for the sub as well as the dom. My question is why is it different to men and how is it a turn on (in other words why sub men enjoy being humiliated)
On the other hand I guess it is empowering for the dom to degrade and humiliate a sub which is also not clear from the psychological point of view

[ey****]

I think at a simple answer.   People are turned on by different things.

Even in *** there's different ticks and triggers for different people.

Sometimes I think overanalysing why something turns us on does so is it's own little corridor 

[Rossco]

To answer this in my own personal experience - it rein***s the subs feelings of inferiority to there dom, in submission there’s a strong feeling of wanting to be lessened to someone else, there’s also the psychological effect of guilt in submission, that the sub should feel bad in some way for there desires and fetishes. But to put it Laymen’s terns it turns them on to be degraded & laughed at

[Deleted Member]

This may be over generalizing.

As eyemblachsheep pointed out these things come down to personal preference.

That's said here's my take -

Looking purely at the psychology of kink - it's generally accepted that were turned on by our own darkest and deepest ***s, mainly derived from our social norms and upbringing.
What's the worst thing a woman might do to a man - humiliate and demascillate him perhaps?
What's the worst thing a man might do to a woman - overpower and 'use' her perhaps?

It's only in providing the safety to explore these powerful adverse emotions to what we'd likley find unacceptable and perhaps even abusive in every day life, that we find out our kinks. It's both a powerful turn on and sexually liberating when we relinquish or take power and provide the safety to do these things to and with our partners and playmates in a consensual trusting and safe space to do so.

It's our darkest ***s that tend to govern our turn ons the most. The bottom seeing another holding the reinds of power over them and the top seeing that the bottom is enjoying and willing to let us do it is a very powerful experiance for all involved.

[Mz****]

3 hours ago, A_Switch said:

In Femdom it is clear that humiliating a male sub is a turn on for the sub as well as the dom. My question is why is it different to men and how is it a turn on (in other words why sub men enjoy being humiliated)
On the other hand I guess it is empowering for the dom to degrade and humiliate a sub which is also not clear from the psychological point of view

Is it clear its a turn on? Not for me it isn't. *** is something I never do just for its own sake, and certainly when something I do, or have a submissive do has an edge of ***/*** That itself isn't the driving *** behind the act..theres not additional 'turn on' for me to use your words..I have no doubt that much of what I enjoy might be considered *** play, but thats entirely subjective, one person's idea of *** is not necessarily another's, and this applies equally to both D and s types.

Why do some seek out ***? I can only speak to my own experiences where I've found  *** is not really about making somebody do something they don't want to do or degrading them, it is more about leading, guiding or Enabling them, towards the things they've always craved but never been brave enough to admit to..be that because of stigma, upbringing, religion, lack of knowledge, shame, embarrassment, nerves, or anything else.

 

 

 

 

[Ky****]

my pov may be insulting to some women but here it is, i grew up in an environment where men are in charge, men do certain things women do others, i didn' know why i enjoyed the *** but guess its because whatever my genetics i knew i was a woman and the submissive slut was exciting because it felt like i was accessing the real me, wonder if i was a *** ager now with all the support and understanding whether i'd even b into fetish of any sort, i also wonder whether my pov is more common among those in their 50s like me than it is among 20 somethings

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, MzJax said:

Is it clear its a turn on? Not for me it isn't. *** is something I never do just for its own sake, and certainly when something I do, or have a submissive do has an edge of ***/*** That itself isn't the driving *** behind the act..theres not additional 'turn on' for me to use your words..I have no doubt that much of what I enjoy might be considered *** play, but thats entirely subjective, one person's idea of *** is not necessarily another's, and this applies equally to both D and s types.

Why do some seek out ***? I can only speak to my own experiences where I've found  *** is not really about making somebody do something they don't want to do or degrading them, it is more about leading, guiding or Enabling them, towards the things they've always craved but never been brave enough to admit to..be that because of stigma, upbringing, religion, lack of knowledge, shame, embarrassment, nerves, or anything else.

 

 

 

 

So would you say you use *** to push the sub to doing what may be actually their deepest darkest ***s?

[Ky****]

4 minutes ago, KinkySirXxX said:

So would you say you use *** to push the sub to doing what may be actually their deepest darkest ***s?

don't know about jaz but that's what happened to me and ***s and desires became 1 and the same

[Mz****]

4 minutes ago, KinkySirXxX said:

So would you say you use *** to push the sub to doing what may be actually their deepest darkest ***s?

Personally no, I don't think *** would be a strong enough driving ***, and its not one I'd endorse to face ***s anyway..deepest darkest desires perhaps, but not ***s..but, I do have a background in mental health, I was a psychiatric nurse for much of my career..so I'm extremely aware of the negative effects *** can have on a person, particularly one with mental health issues or learning disabilities, so I'm likely overly careful..*** is something I always cover and keep covering a long time prior to any play, scening etc, and thats for my piece of mind too.

I think its Definitely an area that needs lots of honest discussion, and negotiation of limits that may fluctuate even on a daily or hourly basis, and one thats often neglected as of no consequence.

 

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, Kymi said:

don't know about jaz but that's what happened to me and ***s and desires became 1 and the same

Thats an interesting breaking point to get too I think...'***s and desires becoming one.'
I think when you can confront your boundaries, your ***s, your deepest and naughtiest fantasies - then you will have the deepest experiance. Everything else leading up to that point is edging closer and closer to it imo.

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, MzJax said:

Personally no, I don't think *** would be a strong enough driving ***, and its not one I'd endorse to face ***s anyway..deepest darkest desires perhaps, but not ***s..but, I do have a background in mental health, I was a psychiatric nurse for much of my career..so I'm extremely aware of the negative effects *** can have on a person, particularly one with mental health issues or learning disabilities, so I'm likely overly careful..*** is something I always cover and keep covering a long time prior to any play, scening etc, and thats for my piece of mind too.

I think its Definitely an area that needs lots of honest discussion, and negotiation of limits that may fluctuate even on a daily or hourly basis, and one thats often neglected as of no consequence.

 

I don't think *** alone is ever going to work. People are far more motivated by positive experiance than the negative ones generally but perhaps the goal is the same. A meaningful deeper connection to our truest desires and fantasies and that can only realy be found through exploration and experiance.

I don't like ***. I know some do but I don't personally. Dirty talk, sure! Filthy pet names - hell yes! But it's not in my nature to degrade. That said, I've done it for others but it doesn't come naturally to me and I never really enjoy it. I'd be interested to know if degrading play is more likley to be something that's short lived or if anyone does it as part of their 24/7 LS. I suspect that it's more likley for scenes but would like to hear from anyone who needs this in their daily lives.

Also, nice to see a fellow MH worker here! 😎

[Mz****]

46 minutes ago, KinkySirXxX said:

I don't think *** alone is ever going to work. People are far more motivated by positive experiance than the negative ones generally but perhaps the goal is the same. A meaningful deeper connection to our truest desires and fantasies and that can only realy be found through exploration and experiance.

I don't like ***. I know some do but I don't personally. Dirty talk, sure! Filthy pet names - hell yes! But it's not in my nature to degrade. That said, I've done it for others but it doesn't come naturally to me and I never really enjoy it. I'd be interested to know if degrading play is more likley to be something that's short lived or if anyone does it as part of their 24/7 LS. I suspect that it's more likley for scenes but would like to hear from anyone who needs this in their daily lives.

Also, nice to see a fellow MH worker here! 😎

Thats the million dollar question isn't it, where are the lines between whats merely embarrassment, or a deeper ***, *** and of course when does it become ***..too personally specific to generalise. 

I'm like you, I don't find *** comes naturally, its a chore I don't enjoy so I don't deliberately set out to do it, unless someone is irritating me in a club environment perhaps..but it sometimes can be a side effect of other things like piss play for example, or chastity..I would bet my life savings if I opened a chatroom tonight and called it small penis *** it would be overflowing with guys clammering to be humiliated, I may be mistaken, my experience with female subs is somewhat limited and everyone's different, but from what I've seen and experienced its more likely that they crave what most would call *** rather than ***, and I've noticed a similar trend with trans subs too..you have me thinking now.

Apologies to @A_Switch,  @KinkySirXxXand I seem to have hijacked your thread, I hope you at least find the tangent a little interesting. 

[Subystantial]

For me personally some elements of *** take me deeper into a sense of submission and being dominated.

[A_Switch]

On 1/6/2021 at 3:54 PM, MzJax said:

Thats the million dollar question isn't it, where are the lines between whats merely embarrassment, or a deeper ***, *** and of course when does it become ***..too personally specific to generalise. 

I'm like you, I don't find *** comes naturally, its a chore I don't enjoy so I don't deliberately set out to do it, unless someone is irritating me in a club environment perhaps..but it sometimes can be a side effect of other things like piss play for example, or chastity..I would bet my life savings if I opened a chatroom tonight and called it small penis *** it would be overflowing with guys clammering to be humiliated, I may be mistaken, my experience with female subs is somewhat limited and everyone's different, but from what I've seen and experienced its more likely that they crave what most would call *** rather than ***, and I've noticed a similar trend with trans subs too..you have me thinking now.

Apologies to @A_Switch,  @KinkySirXxXand I seem to have hijacked your thread, I hope you at least find the tangent a little interesting. 

Thank you for your valuable input and deeper insights. This is a thread for discussions and sharing information; so I am more than happy to follow the discussions of others within the same topic.

One thing that is still not clear to me and it is related to doms. Does degrading a sub in an act that is somehow a turn on for the sub yet meaningless to the dom, how does the dom act towards this act (carry it out or refuses) and how does the dom feel? (empowered, annoyed,...)
Another question for female doms, why does humiliating a male sub is part of domination (acts like pissing, slapping, spitting, insults,....) unlike male dominating females (tends to focused on rougher sex with *** )

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, A_Switch said:

Thank you for your valuable input and deeper insights. This is a thread for discussions and sharing information; so I am more than happy to follow the discussions of others within the same topic.

One thing that is still not clear to me and it is related to doms. Does degrading a sub in an act that is somehow a turn on for the sub yet meaningless to the dom, how does the dom act towards this act (carry it out or refuses) and how does the dom feel? (empowered, annoyed,...)
Another question for female doms, why does humiliating a male sub is part of domination (acts like pissing, slapping, spitting, insults,....) unlike male dominating females (tends to focused on rougher sex with *** )

@A_Switch This is a really difficult question. I'm sure if you asked a thousand different Ds you'd get a different answer from each one of them.

Personally, I love trying new things - even if I'm not totally into them myself. Maybe because my sub likes them or she might react in a way that pleases me or i find interesting for example.

I think it's probably too general to hone in any specific answer. The short answer is likley that both D and S do things for and to the other person that they themselves don't enjoy or may dislike. The phrase 'my kinks don't have to be your kinks' comes to mind and it seems to fit well here. We do them out of love, exploration, betterment, care, compassion, ownership, liberation and many many other reasons to push our boundaries and strengthen and forge our bonds.

If your interested in it as a topic there are loads of great articles here and on the web and there are quite a few good books covering it too according to reviews online.

A quick internet search seems to show these as good starting points and I'll certainly be adding them to my reading pile as a result of this thread as it's made me think.

Enough to Make You Blush by Princess Kali has great reviews and is mentioned in lots of different places and kink sites.

***, A Study in *** by Maia
Anne Fisher has good reviews generally and seems to be quite human science based which always floats my boat

Both of these seem to be available on download too.

[A_Switch]

On 1/8/2021 at 10:17 PM, KinkySirXxX said:

@A_Switch This is a really difficult question. I'm sure if you asked a thousand different Ds you'd get a different answer from each one of them.

Personally, I love trying new things - even if I'm not totally into them myself. Maybe because my sub likes them or she might react in a way that pleases me or i find interesting for example.

I think it's probably too general to hone in any specific answer. The short answer is likley that both D and S do things for and to the other person that they themselves don't enjoy or may dislike. The phrase 'my kinks don't have to be your kinks' comes to mind and it seems to fit well here. We do them out of love, exploration, betterment, care, compassion, ownership, liberation and many many other reasons to push our boundaries and strengthen and forge our bonds.

If your interested in it as a topic there are loads of great articles here and on the web and there are quite a few good books covering it too according to reviews online.

A quick internet search seems to show these as good starting points and I'll certainly be adding them to my reading pile as a result of this thread as it's made me think.

Enough to Make You Blush by Princess Kali has great reviews and is mentioned in lots of different places and kink sites.

***, A Study in *** by Maia
Anne Fisher has good reviews generally and seems to be quite human science based which always floats my boat

Both of these seem to be available on download too.

Thank you very much for your input and recommendations. I will have a look at the first book.

[A_Switch]

On 1/8/2021 at 10:17 PM, KinkySirXxX said:

@A_Switch This is a really difficult question. I'm sure if you asked a thousand different Ds you'd get a different answer from each one of them.

Personally, I love trying new things - even if I'm not totally into them myself. Maybe because my sub likes them or she might react in a way that pleases me or i find interesting for example.

I think it's probably too general to hone in any specific answer. The short answer is likley that both D and S do things for and to the other person that they themselves don't enjoy or may dislike. The phrase 'my kinks don't have to be your kinks' comes to mind and it seems to fit well here. We do them out of love, exploration, betterment, care, compassion, ownership, liberation and many many other reasons to push our boundaries and strengthen and forge our bonds.

If your interested in it as a topic there are loads of great articles here and on the web and there are quite a few good books covering it too according to reviews online.

A quick internet search seems to show these as good starting points and I'll certainly be adding them to my reading pile as a result of this thread as it's made me think.

Enough to Make You Blush by Princess Kali has great reviews and is mentioned in lots of different places and kink sites.

***, A Study in *** by Maia
Anne Fisher has good reviews generally and seems to be quite human science based which always floats my boat

Both of these seem to be available on download too.

Thank you very much for your input and recommendations. I will have a look at the first book.

[Deleted Member]

I had an experience where my sub wanted to go to the toilet and I did not let him , because im in charge and no freestyling like taking bathroom breaks instead decided he had to pee in a glass infront of me and he was so scared that was standing for an hour infront of me not being able to pee ... till I gave him Permission... he was so humiliated not literally being able to pee because of the domination

[Sissyforusetoday]

I never even thought about being submissive but then when I talked to a mistress and she made me worship her ass for an hour.  I was like wow I love that she is controlling me and I’m her tool. 
 

since I’ve been made to dress in stockings basque heels lipstick while she humiliated me called me a slut and a whore. I never contemplated doing this why did it turn me on so much?  I think because she made me feel cheap and in turn really filthy. I wanted to do anything she asked to prove I was her leading sub/ sissy. 
 

taking me to sex shops telling the owner who the items were for  totally scared and embarrassed but as long as she looks after you your ok with it and you get rewarded   
 

it’s just sexy having a woman being empowered  running the show having roles reversed  

the fact society’s opinion is it’s weird or wrong adds another layer of excitement  (oh god what if I’m caught out dressed like this  so your adrenaline is going to)

 

[AlexIsTiny22029]

I think *** is so subjective it’s difficult to nail down with a single definition. There is definitely something in the sub’s ***s and insecurities being played with but I’ve found the process to be very liberating. 
 

Instead of hiding or losing sleep over aspects of their physique/personality/interests, it can be something which is brought out into the light a little bit and played with. I’ve always loved the idea of the power transfer and in a way, I’ve found it to be something which has improved my outlook on certain things!

[Mickymouse]

I fantasise about being a toilet slave and humiliated and dominated

[myshaal56]

for me, i have always felt that i was inferior, both to females and males.   when i learned that i had a genetic defect, an extra female chromosome, i began to understand myself.  now when i am with the MISTRESS,  it's not *** that i feel but rsther being put in my place

[Deleted Member]

Its about her enforcing our rules.
It is a turn on. No idea why I like it. I just do and we roll with it.

[werslutz]

Hi I am a submissive Sissy as well is an orally talented lover both sexes and I love that my wife is aslutand somewhat of a nymphomaniac are you really domineering and ***ful at times when something needs to be done and the submissive role I play at her Sissy accepting the cuckolding and the various kinds of *** that I am gel as going in public in pink panties in a nightie to go to an adult bookstore and however have sex with whoever she likes and be be ***d to perform many different humiliating sexual acts in front of people I don't know excites me and brings me your lease will go orgasm and I can't imagine my relationship with her being any other way it takes away my guilt for being domineering when I have to that's what I get out of it as well as some incredible orgasms and I do love to serve her and we'll all women as my orgasm is this important than theirs oh and if you ever want to put my wife this message will figure it out that the changes to put

[MicahSPH-1221]

I think I might like small penis ***