Anxiety management after a session

[JoseJuan]

Hi all. I'm not sure if this has been discussed on a thread previously but here I go. I started a D/s relationship with a sub who is quite involved with her role. She had no previous experience and we are going step by step. Confidence and comunication between is constamt and clear but all the times we had a session, during the next couple of days she has a kind of emptyness in the transition between the session and her normal life. We try to do a good after care, the next day we keep communicating but the second day after the session is the hardest for her. Has any sub experienced this kind of feelings? How did you manage? Do you think mindfulness could help her in the transition? Thanks to all

[yo****]

i’ve definitely experienced this as a sub and it’s hard. loneliness also, regardless of aftercare. helps to find things that ground her so she feels more in control of her body and life after. quality time helps me if i’m with my dom, but also just a self care activity to help with the come down. or something creative and fun

[Ju****]

Read up on sub drop
It may not be the exact thing but there are some great tips to deal with these emotions

I have a plushie for my subs that they can use for comfort, as they deal with these feelings

Having talks about it, doing reviews of a scene helps too I founds. Writing down stuff that they liked or would want to have more of, so it's not completely gone

And having self compassion. It's easier said than done. But these feelings will happen regardless and dealing with them always takes time and energy

[Kr****]

If she has no pervious experience, she may not have many tools to deal with sub drop. I heavily rely on tools I learned in therapy. The best one for me is a RAIN meditation to process my feelings. Sometimes we just need to lean into our feelings and hold them with compassion before they can pass through us.

[Th****]

I agree with the others, especially Bunny. I just discovered sub drop myself and she definitely needs something to ground her. Help her get back to herself after a session. But I just wanted to say it sounds like you are doing great, especially making sure she gets aftercare and looking out for your sub ☺️