I'm not Topping from the bottom

[4R****]

5 hours ago, AKA_Copper said:

 

I would argue that they aren't brats

Agreed

[Si****]

I appreciate this insight!

[Ch****]

December 31, 2025, eyemblacksheep said:

I genuinely hate "topping from the bottom" as a term, because it's so widely misused.  

Usually against female subs, but male subs can be on the receiving end also.  Cos like actual topping from the bottom can be an issue - micromanaging, especially midscene, intentional bait and switch -- particularly when not pre-agreed or part of a dynamic

But folk will call stuff like "using a safeword", "communicating likes/dislikes/preferences", "making suggestions", "asking to play / initating play" all is 'topping from the bottom' when they're all a key part of communication

The visual I'm getting from someone using the phrase is, like, they're fed up and ***y.

[Ch****]

Thursday at 11:22 AM, clear_spring said:

They would argue differently. I.e. brat being a core identity within kink but also witnessing the behaviour as a relational dynamic outside of any play time. I agree its actually a sign of a highly dysregulated nervous system to the point of compulsion.

They would argue, but your anti gaslighting says they're being hurtful, not bratty. I'm glad you can cut them off.

[Go****]

I'm not usually a bratty person but when I do test the waters its usually my kinky way of saying, hey I want you to switch up on me and be rougher or firmly correct me. Example, when I start talking bad about myself I need words of affirmation. Example, when I challenge/say no (when cnc is accepted because "no" isnt a safeword for me) I really want more.

I am a switch verse however so "topping from the bottom" to me is being a power bottom or a dom bottom. Someone who takes the lead but is receiving.

[cl****]

8 hours ago, Chaey said:

They would argue, but your anti gaslighting says they're being hurtful, not bratty. I'm glad you can cut them off.

Thank you. I did and I have. When a sub puts anyone at risk its no longer about a playful persona situated as brattiness but about extracting structure from someone