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I'm not Topping from the bottom


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5 hours ago, AKA_Copper said:

 

I would argue that they aren't brats

Agreed

December 31, 2025, eyemblacksheep said:

I genuinely hate "topping from the bottom" as a term, because it's so widely misused.  

Usually against female subs, but male subs can be on the receiving end also.  Cos like actual topping from the bottom can be an issue - micromanaging, especially midscene, intentional bait and switch -- particularly when not pre-agreed or part of a dynamic

But folk will call stuff like "using a safeword", "communicating likes/dislikes/preferences", "making suggestions", "asking to play / initating play" all is 'topping from the bottom' when they're all a key part of communication

The visual I'm getting from someone using the phrase is, like, they're fed up and ***y.

Thursday at 11:22 AM, clear_spring said:

They would argue differently. I.e. brat being a core identity within kink but also witnessing the behaviour as a relational dynamic outside of any play time. I agree its actually a sign of a highly dysregulated nervous system to the point of compulsion.

They would argue, but your anti gaslighting says they're being hurtful, not bratty. I'm glad you can cut them off.

I'm not usually a bratty person but when I do test the waters its usually my kinky way of saying, hey I want you to switch up on me and be rougher or firmly correct me. Example, when I start talking bad about myself I need words of affirmation. Example, when I challenge/say no (when cnc is accepted because "no" isnt a safeword for me) I really want more.

I am a switch verse however so "topping from the bottom" to me is being a power bottom or a dom bottom. Someone who takes the lead but is receiving.

8 hours ago, Chaey said:

They would argue, but your anti gaslighting says they're being hurtful, not bratty. I'm glad you can cut them off.

Thank you. I did and I have. When a sub puts anyone at risk its no longer about a playful persona situated as brattiness but about extracting structure from someone

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