Ghosting VS Blocking

[Deleted Member]

13 hours ago, Bidude_69 said:

Getting ghosted in use to as a guy. Getting block is for no reason before we have a conversation is BS to me.

"No reason" that YOU are Aware of - it's THEIR reason(s)!!! Pre-emptive blocking is valid regardless if we don't know the[ir] why. It may seem as though the person of your intended attention is just being mean, or not giving you a chance, and those thoughts and subsequent feels are also valid. However, feeling entitled to someone's time, attention, response, engagement OR explanation, is a problem.
One doesn't get access to others just because they want it.

[Vl****]

being ok with ghosting and not blocking seems like an odd line to me. maybe its because you said something and can pin point that as the exact reason they blocked you? it sucks to be sure, i just find ghosting worse, the not knowing. have blocked, reversed image searched profile pic, was using pornstar pic, realized was mostly me talking, assumed scammer....likely will have to again

[Ro****]

From a woman’s perspective, mY perspective, Not All women, Let me be clear on that.
Ghosting is often used as a selective tool to exit interactions where the other person displays significant low emotional intelligence (EQ) or toxic behaviors. In these cases, ghosting is viewed as a rational "exit strategy" to avoid the energy drain of explaining basic social decencies to someone who appears unable to grasp them.
Tactical Ghosting Based on Low EQ-
When a woman detects a lack of self-awareness or empathy, ghosting becomes a way to avoid a "teaching moment" that she feels is not her responsibility to provide.
Example: The "Entitlement" Reaction. If a person demands an immediate response to a text or expresses frustration that she is "too busy," she may perceive this as a lack of respect for her boundaries. Rather than explaining why his demand is intrusive—which often leads to further argument—she ghosts to end the interaction immediately.

Example: Premature Emotional Intensity. When a suitor reveals too much personal information too soon or pushes for deep commitment after one date, it signals low emotional regulation. A woman may ghost because she anticipates that a formal rejection will trigger an unstable emotional outburst.

Tactical Ghosting Based on Noticed Toxicity
Ghosting is frequently a defensive response to "red flags" that suggest a person may be manipulative, aggressive, or unsafe.
Example: Dark Triad Traits. If a woman notices signs of narcissism (constant self-centeredness) or Machiavellianism (emotional detachment), she may ghost to avoid being further manipulated.

Example: Retribution for Disrespect. When a match is overtly rude, sexually aggressive, or dismissive, a woman may feel that the person has "forfeited" their right to a polite explanation. In her view, the ghosting is a deserved consequence for their poor behavior.
Example: Avoiding the "Backlash Loop." Past experiences of men responding to rejection with gaslighting, name-calling, or guilt-tripping lead many women to ghost as a standard safety protocol. By not engaging, they effectively cut off the "oxygen" for a potential toxic argument.

The Scale of Response
High EQ/Green Flag: If the connection is healthy but simply not a fit, many women feel an obligation to provide a kind, direct rejection.

Low EQ/Toxic Flag: If the connection feels draining or threatening, silence is used as a final, non-negotiable boundary

[ab****]

Just bc you think the conversation is flowing and going good they might not think so it might be boring to them or just not as interesting so they block

[Deleted Member]

I literally just got blocked by a girl because I have the same name as her cousin... great conversation up until that point and then "nope that gives me the ick bye" WTF is wrong with some of people on here

[wo****]

In man-woman hetro interactions (the only type I have experience with), my guess is that in the initial stage of texting to show interest and to figure out if it’s mutual, blocking is used by women much more than by men. This is incidental, true only because they are pursued more often. It’s the same for any person being pursued regardless of sex, gender, or relationship dynamic. If they are interested, communication continues. If not interested they have little to go on about the man to know how he will take rejection. He can accept it and be pleasant, or can respond by expressing negative emotion on a spectrum from unpleasant to very hostile. It’s never going to be the pursuer celebrating and expressing joy when rejected, it’s either ok or bad.
If the one pursued blocks right out of the gait instead of ghosting it shows hostility (unless the message is crazy, etc). Not responding says “not interested”. Blocking immediately instead of simply not responding says something more along the lines of “not interested, and fuck off”. Hopefully blocking isn’t used this way often, before just not responding, suspending judgement. Reserving that step as a response to repeated attempts, where it shows the pursuer can’t take a hint, is pestering, or displaying anger, etc.
Blocking- setting a limit after a relationship is established is different, circumstances are more complex, and is often used by anyone involved, sometimes both. Anyone can block anyone at any time for any reason. Whether or not it is the most sensible step to take in different situations is a matter of opinion.

[DK****]

Much has actually been studied and written regarding the psychology of why you, me or others ghost but the bottom line that consistently is concluded is it's generally the ghoster who lacks the skills, maturity and empathy of others necessary to end the relationship, regardless of the stage, properly.

When they block for seemingly no reason (no threats or safety concerns etc) it is just the extreme form of ghosting for the reasons above and little more. Social cowardice if you will.

Ghosters/blockers though, like to blame everything and everyone but themselves to justify this type of antisocial behaviour.

They cite their personal anxiety, stress, finding others more to their liking or determining the ghosted/blocked in fact deserve it for their newly discovered but unwelcome behaviour or attributes.

It's part of the game....though admittedly tough when you're left wondering what you did? But it's generally always the Ghoster/Blocker that's the problem and let's be honest....better they disappear without reason early in the relationship vetting process then after you've grown attached and shared some level of intimacy. That's the one that hurst long term.

[Ta****]

12 hours ago, austin16735 said:

Just wanted to chime in in regards to recording conversations…

First, I’m not a lawyer. I do have experience with this particular issue specifically because I assisted in transcribing phone calls regarding a lawsuit over this very issue.

In the United States the legality of doing this is dependent on the state. Minnesota is a one party consent state. Meaning if someone and myself were to be talking it would be legal for me to record it without their knowledge as I, being one of the two parties, consented to the recording. States like California are two party consent states. Meaning ALL parties involved in the conversation are required to consent to the recording. This is why when you call a toll free number you get that “This call may be recorded or monitored…”

If you record without consent in a two party consent state it will open yourself to liability.

:sigh: Yep, you’re definitely not a lawyer.

You know what happens if I call my doctor’s office & ask for my medical records? They don’t send me video tape. They send me documentation. Aka records. Because they have recorded my treatment with documents. That’s why the 30 second clickbait reel you got your law degree from recommended you write an email to your boss summarizing your meetings with them.

You can also still record in a 2 party state. I hesitate to mention this on a kink site, because I bet you suck with all forms of consent, but in terms of the laws you’re talking about, you don’t seem to understand they are *anti-wiretapping* laws. They exist to prevent recording by 3rd parties outside the conversation. As even you note, literally all you need for recording in a 2-party state is to tell them you’re recording…after that, if they don’t STFU, too bad (in some cases, like being a reporter, even less effort is needed. If you’re concerned you don’t understand how consent works, since you volunteered to spread ignorance, I think you should be, talk to a licensed attorney)

I understand some people love nothing more than being loudly wrong, especially on the internet…so you’re welcome for the opportunity.

[Ta****]

8 hours ago, lewes271635 said:

I’ve blocked people because after the initial honeymoon phase they’ve then displayed more red flags that a Chinese parade. This might have been interpreted by the other person as ‘not wanting to deal with the situation’ but it’s not my place to lecture adults on how to behave like adults. The one bitten by the snake doesn’t chase the snake to explain that it wasn’t a nice thing to do.

Hell yeah. Adding in agreement: this is why we say to resist telling narcissists how you caught their lies. They don’t learn the lesson that lying isn’t nice. The lesson they learn is how to lie better next time. If someone is dangerous, a swift report & block is often best

[Ba****]

I think “blocking” should be reserved for people who are incapable of recognizing a clear “No” and temporary“ghosting” may be explained by just life happening
In every other context they are just a display of lacking manners and maturity

[ab****]

3 hours ago, colchester745071 said:

I literally just got blocked by a girl because I have the same name as her cousin... great conversation up until that point and then "nope that gives me the ick bye" WTF is wrong with some of people on here

That’s a valid reason lol especially on a app like this

[Wo****]

17 hours ago, SamanthaMtF96 said:

Facts 👆🏻
Or if they are just always seem to message with they are horny… or don’t actually try to get to know me

yes same i’ve gotten over the days of trying to explain basic etiquette to strangers on the internet .. it’s nice to remember im a Submissive but not their submissive , yet ! so i could care less about their desires

[la****]

Communication is a big deal. A lot of people fail to (or refuse to) realize that a person has feelings. Sometimes its too much for them tho. *** is a big factor, so dont take it personal. Its themselves they have a problem with in all reality.

[le****]

I think both ghosting and blocking are coward moves and unkind. Grow a pair and let them know where you stand. A simple "Hey, I'm not feeling this, I hope you find what you're looking for" or whatever the case allows them some closure.

Ghosting is even worse. There is no place for it, yet it's so normalized, sad! Blocking has some places: if someone stalks you, does not take no for an answer, etc. I still think a simple "Hey, I'm blocking you because ___" would be the kind thing to do.

The only time I ever blocked someone was because I was limerent and found myself obsessed, I told them I needed to block them, so I didn't see their content, for my own peace.

[br****]

"no" *then blocks user* 🤭

[ey****]

Sometimes, as hard as this can be, you sometimes have to be accepting that if you don't know, you won't know.

How you deal with this becomes up to you. Though bitterness doesn't solve anything.

You can, for example, just assume it was a "them thing" and shrug it off.  In which case, you dodged a bullet not being involved in someone who'd do what you perceive to be a 'bad thing'.   Or you can kinda re go over where the conversation was to see if there was anything - like they may not have liked.

A common reason for people ducking out of conversations is because they're bored, so if they're stuck in a small talk loop - or if they've frequently had to push back on conversation.

But also sometimes someone blocks/ignores/whatever not based on something in that conversation - like, perhaps a profile update or something on the forums etc.  

[SeduceMySynapse]

Some ppl just do t know how to end it compassionately so they just vanish.

[ja****]

I don't even get ghosting if you want to get honest about it. Like everybody's always talking about entitlement and nobody owes you their time. But we're all human beings right like all I hear from the same accounts is how we're all humans I'm supposed to be compassionate and empathic but nobody treats anyone online like that. I just want to say I really love your pictures they insulted me and blocked me. I honestly don't mind being blocked if there's an argument but I feel like if you're going to block somebody they should have the right to say one thing back to you. I think we all deserve the right to tell somebody to f off if they just block you for bullshit

[Ge****]

People don't owe you their time and an explanation of why they Ghosted or Blocked you!

If you're incapable of the basic tenants of "Responsible And Ethical Consent", then maybe you shouldn't be in the kink community........

[Deleted Member]

I tend to think of blocking the same way I think of someone flinching.
Not everything that causes a flinch is intentional, malicious, or even “about you.” Most of the time it falls into a few buckets tied to triggers, known or unknown.
For example:
You existed in their space (liked a photo, viewed a profile), and something about that triggered *** or discomfort to flinch to block.
You spooked them (maybe explicit too fast, maybe tone mismatch, maybe just bad timing) to flinch to block.
You accidentally matched a pattern tied to prior trauma to flinch to block.
Or they simply didn’t have the emotional bandwidth and blocking was the fastest way to regain control.
If someone’s “normal interaction pattern” ends in trauma for them, they’re going to shut it down, even if you had zero intent to cause harm.
That doesn’t mean you did something wrong. It also doesn’t mean they’re broken.
Someone mentioned being blocked because a name matched a cousin and gave them the “ick.” That sounds silly on the surface, but names can be loaded with real trauma. You can’t change your name, and yes, that sucks, but people also shouldn’t be shamed for protecting themselves from triggers they didn’t choose.
We also have to be honest about how apps work. Repeated likes, gifts, revisiting profiles, or algorithmic resurfacing creates unwanted visibility. Blocking starts as a tool for bad actors, but quickly becomes a blanket defense once someone’s nervous system has learned “visibility = risk.”
And finally, ghosting deserves precision.
Ghosting is real and psychologically damaging in established relationships or realworld connections.
A few online exchanges that fizzle out are not ghosting, they’re more like brief conversations with a stranger on a bus that never continue.
Annoying? Sure.
Hurtful? Sometimes.
Traumatic ghosting? That’s a different category, and blurring the line helps no one.

[wo****]

8 hours ago, Tadhg said:

:sigh: Yep, you’re definitely not a lawyer.

You know what happens if I call my doctor’s office & ask for my medical records? They don’t send me video tape. They send me documentation. Aka records. Because they have recorded my treatment with documents. That’s why the 30 second clickbait reel you got your law degree from recommended you write an email to your boss summarizing your meetings with them.

You can also still record in a 2 party state. I hesitate to mention this on a kink site, because I bet you suck with all forms of consent, but in terms of the laws you’re talking about, you don’t seem to understand they are *anti-wiretapping* laws. They exist to prevent recording by 3rd parties outside the conversation. As even you note, literally all you need for recording in a 2-party state is to tell them you’re recording…after that, if they don’t STFU, too bad (in some cases, like being a reporter, even less effort is needed. If you’re concerned you don’t understand how consent works, since you volunteered to spread ignorance, I think you should be, talk to a licensed attorney)

I understand some people love nothing more than being loudly wrong, especially on the internet…so you’re welcome for the opportunity.

@Tadhg said:
I understand some people love nothing more than being loudly wrong, especially on the internet…so you’re welcome for the opportunity.

————
You have my consent to do me next. I waive my right to have my attorney present.

[Tr****]

Common thing these days with their inability to communicate and lack of getting butt hurt

[va****]

I get what ur asking but at the end of the day if they block u its their loss so dont let it get to u just move on and keep note of what they have done to u

[bi****]

I would rather be blocked instead of ghosted,at least I know how they felt

[Da****]

I've stopped trying to figure out why people do what they do. Find a new person and get your mind off of it