New to LS Lifestyle

[Bi****]

I've recently been introduced to the LS-friendly lifestyle. I'm aware that boundaries are in place for everyone's safety and enjoyment. What is the best way to handle someone pushing your boundaries or breaking your rules, intentionally....is there a way to do handle it without being rude and disrespectful??

[Sh****]

I cut contact with them. I have boundaries and limits for a reason.

[Ta****]

Be polite yet direct works for me & if they continue then just call them out on it & say something like "you are aware Im uncomfortable with your words/behaviour and are overstepping my boundaries right now". Dont be afraid to stand up for yourself or afraid they will walk away because if they can disrespect your boundaries and think only of themselves isnt something you want for yourself.
On the flip side does this person know they have/are pushing/overstepping boundaries.
Communication is so so important & will almost always solve issues like this. Always be honest & not afraid to put you & your needs forward.
I hope you resolve this ASAP

[Mr****]

100% ^^^
Boundaries should definitely be discussed openly befoooore there’s a chance to get hurt feelings or damage trust. How would you otherwise have confidence they wont push you too far to the point of damage? Open and honest communication is essential for trust; all of which is a relationship foundation. Safe words or signals can are good to warn or stop behavior, but once it’s too far then everything crumbles 🤷🏻‍♂️

[Ar****]

If somebody is intentionally breaking your rules or pushing your boundaries, you don't owe them politeness or respect. That makes them dangerous anywhere but particularly in this community, and for your own protection you need to distance yourself from them.

[Sa****]

I get several people being just uncalled for to me on here for whatever their reasons are. I'm just direct and often educate them if I find something there saying offensive before going straight for the throat.

[Bi****]

I've stopped a session because of boundaries that were set before hand were broken several times, after being warned, and they thought it was role play. Thoughts on safe words?

[Mr****]

Something you wouldn’t normally say in a role play scene. Yellow and red are probably most common- yellow for you’re close to the limit of xyz, red to stop immediately. Also consider nonverbal signals like snapping your fingers in case unable to speak

[Si****]

Are you saying as it happens or like how to react after it’s been confirmed they intentionally overstepped a boundary? If it’s the first, just be cordial and take a brief pause but if it’s intentional just say something to the effect of “this is not what we agreed to and I’m no longer comfortable”. If anything persists then you can do as you see fit?

[Te****]

Communication, communication, communication. It sounds like a brat, in which case if your not into that you need to be firm this is what want
If it doesn't change. Punishment like you would a child, sentences, kneeling on rice what have you, correct the behavior.

[Do****]

Just open communication with your partner. Explain your concerns and hear theirs. This should be done before any contact is made. It’s always best to be on the same page of the things you and partner like and don’t like. Remember to come up with a safe word for when things get pushed to beyond what you two discussed and agreed on. Non verbal communication is another good one.

[Ba****]

Well as someone intentionally pushing boundaries i appreciate a verbal reaffirmation/warning, basically a “ey I don’t like”, but i expect physical resistance up to and including ***

Worry about being polite and respectful sometime when it’s relevant

Ps what does “LS” represent?? I never heard or read about it and chances are high it’s different letters in my native language

[Co****]

Don’t assume they can read your mind. If you have a hard limit or something that is a turn-off, talk about it before and mention it again if it comes up. If you have done this and your partner still can’t keep within the boundaries you discussed, you need a new partner.

[Ro****]

Simple, walk away and refuse to interact. Don't waste your energy.

[Mr****]

Look… some people don’t know. Walking away? Sure, healthy for you. They will do the same thing to the next person and think they’re more experienced. They need to learn as a “Dom” as you learn as a sub from your experience. Tell them why they’re killing the relationship. Please. Or they may get more aggressive with the next trying to “prove” themselves. Communicate. Tell them to learn more about the lifestyle. Show them! Grow together, or apart depending on what damage may have been done 🖤

[Ro****]

For those responding that we should take the time to re educate. Depending on the degree and the circumstance, some may not take re-education well. If I see certain signs of them not having the emotional maturity to start with at least basic respect and human decency. Especially as a female, theres a certain point, I know no matter what I say or do,I would be met with at the very least gas lighting and at the worst a hostile reaction. I am not obligated to re educate either, especially a stranger. We are all adults here. Let's act like it. If not. Then I will banish you from my space. I don't have any more fs left to give.

[Ba****]

12 hours ago, RogueLynx said:

For those responding that we should take the time to re educate. Depending on the degree and the circumstance, some may not take re-education well. If I see certain signs of them not having the emotional maturity to start with at least basic respect and human decency. Especially as a female, theres a certain point, I know no matter what I say or do,I would be met with at the very least gas lighting and at the worst a hostile reaction. I am not obligated to re educate either, especially a stranger. We are all adults here. Let's act like it. If not. Then I will banish you from my space. I don't have any more fs left to give.

Don’t play with strangers, it’s unnecessarily dangerous
By the way you can cut the “re” in this case and who else would be obligated for educating your partners about your boundaries??
Sure i understand that there are transgressions beyond any reasonable expectation of further interaction but for everting else try communicating first, nobody can read minds and very few have a perfect memory, best case they learn and adapt, you gain confidence, a actual reason to build mutual trust and neither of you has to go looking for a potentially worse situation-ship
Ps if you ever wondered how someone got “experience” without learning the most basic etiquette, congratulations, your approach is part of the answer, you are effectively sheltering the other from criticism

[Ro****]

Saturday at 06:41 PM, Barthold said:

Don’t play with strangers, it’s unnecessarily dangerous
By the way you can cut the “re” in this case and who else would be obligated for educating your partners about your boundaries??
Sure i understand that there are transgressions beyond any reasonable expectation of further interaction but for everting else try communicating first, nobody can read minds and very few have a perfect memory, best case they learn and adapt, you gain confidence, a actual reason to build mutual trust and neither of you has to go looking for a potentially worse situation-ship
Ps if you ever wondered how someone got “experience” without learning the most basic etiquette, congratulations, your approach is part of the answer, you are effectively sheltering the other from criticism

I am a trainer of sorts for work known for patience and communication. So if they have a willingness to learn and have basic standard manners, I would take the time needed. Beyond that, I reserve that time and patience for those who would potentially deserve it.

[Ba****]

13 hours ago, RogueLynx said:

I am a trainer of sorts for work known for patience and communication. So if they have a willingness to learn and have basic standard manners, I would take the time needed. Beyond that, I reserve that time and patience for those who would potentially deserve it.

Ok for a professional “of sorts” standpoint it makes more sense how you developed your hard cut policy on boundary r.e.i.n.f.o.r.c.e.m.e.n.t(*censorship prevention spelling)

Not sure how practicable it is as general advice for private interpersonal relations though

Ps i just googled what LS is supposed to mean, turns out playing with strangers wouldn’t have been unusual in this context either so i kind of came at this from a weird angle based on my misconception but i think most of my arguments still hold up, just got a whole lot more general all of a sudden