Why is it so hard for others to accept a compliment

[MasterTalathian47342]

Why is it so hard for people to accept a compliment without feeling like a person is hitting on them?

About a week and a half ago I sent a person a message that stated "Very lovely photos. Artistic poses and great setting. Have a good day. " I had not sent anything else in the intervening time and did not request a response or any other contact.

I was not trying to hit on them or pick them up. I specified that I liked their photos. That was it. Ended it by stating have a good day. I received a rudish response in return.

I understand many people (unfortunately men are the largest part) hit on people no matter what the profile says or expect submissives to call them Sir or whatever right away. Other things of this nature as well.

However, and this is not the first time a response like this happened, I just don't understand when people stopped being able to take a compliment as a compliment. I could understand if i was being rude or something like that or stepping over boundaries but I didn't. In this instance I just complimented the photos and moved on.

I had another where the person had a non- sexual question in their profile and I sent an answer to that question and was rudely told that they didn't want to talk to an old man like me and to leave them alone which I did. I didn't even respond to their reply. There was nothing sexual stated or requested just a simple reply to a general question they asked on their profile.

I am just trying to understand why people react the way they do. When did this change in the lifestyle?

[fa****]

I get them all the time and all they want is the D! Oh, wait...no i don't. But we ALL know who does 🤣

[de****]

Over the lifestyle i can not give a opinion cause i recently steped into this life style, but general speaking people are more stressed and overstimulated by al the short dopamine burst they got from endlessly scrolling. The most are not aware of that this is even happening cause a whole generation is raised by those standards. Recently some study been published about the 'harm' of those fast incentives on the brain. What came about is because oure brain is so overwhelmed by those incentives we go subconscious back to oure primal instincts.
That means at least in my opinion that processing in context is not really done so the "reaction" you got back is from primal thinking . (Danger - love ect ect) without a deeper layer of thoughts and has nothing to do personal.
They just bounce around to the next rush or shocking incentive.

Ps keep in mind that those algorithms are in place to keep people's attention not there well being.

Hope i give you a perspective:-)
Enjoy youre day

[Sh****]

Narcissism for the most part. If someone is "hot enough for them", they will react over the top to compliments.
If someone is "not hot enough for them" they will have an ego trip and "reject" you in a condescending way, signaling that they (think!!! That they) are higher value than you.

It's either that or extremely poor manners and a horrible stuck up attitude.

Either way, I find it an amazing way to save yourself some time and energy by not dealing with these mentally unstable individuals.

All that is assuming that the compliment was appropriate on all levels.

[Scuba_fetishist]

So many the same, not just here either. I've sent loads of respectful messages, comments, compliments and either the message is left unread, it's read and ignored, or deleted without response. Fine, they don't owe me a response and I sometimes write that in the message, that I don't expect a response but manners should surely prompt a response. I often think of how the scene would be in the street. Give some compliments or as something and the recipient look you up and down and walks away without an acknowledgement. Sadly, manners and warmth are rare in this entitled society we live in now. Blessing really....who wants to converse with a rude twat anyway. Block and move along.

[Sh****]

Oh and another thing!
A healthy individual with manners will say something like " thank you but you are not my type" or something roughly along these lines.
That's the healthy rejection. You can see how huge the difference is between the two types of answers/people.

[Subbyjohn1973]

You can't complain when you don't have a photo.

[ri****]

Because you're already picking a person based off their looks have substance. Hey beautiful isn't a compliment either. That's how you greet your significant other. Just my opinion.

[Ne****]

I think there are a number of reasons people have difficulty with compliments. I find that, recognizing aspects of someone’s profile, noting what there looking for, desires, and the specifics that speak to their person. Expressing vulnerability and asking for consent. Ex: hey I really appreciate how much intention you put into your profile. I totally agree with A B C. I know I can simply heart your photos, but i wanted to check in and see if you if I could give you a compliment.

Other possible reasons:

There are some people, especially woman who get so many compliments and shitty messages that they might not even have the capacity for another.

Some times people are having a bad day.

I imagine “Lovely photos” is an extremely common compliment. I think taking the time to introduce yourself and adding in additional language might be more welcomed. Like, hey I’m (……) I just came across your profile. Respectfully, I just wanted to say that your photos are extraordinary and have an artistic flare to them. Although you have a short and sweet profile, I gotta say your photos are both lovely and intriguing.

Maybe the person just realized they had been talking to a bot for 3 days.

[ri****]

1 hour ago, NeuroUnidiverse said:

I think there are a number of reasons people have difficulty with compliments. I find that, recognizing aspects of someone’s profile, noting what there looking for, desires, and the specifics that speak to their person. Expressing vulnerability and asking for consent. Ex: hey I really appreciate how much intention you put into your profile. I totally agree with A B C. I know I can simply heart your photos, but i wanted to check in and see if you if I could give you a compliment.

Other possible reasons:

There are some people, especially woman who get so many compliments and shitty messages that they might not even have the capacity for another.

Some times people are having a bad day.

I imagine “Lovely photos” is an extremely common compliment. I think taking the time to introduce yourself and adding in additional language might be more welcomed. Like, hey I’m (……) I just came across your profile. Respectfully, I just wanted to say that your photos are extraordinary and have an artistic flare to them. Although you have a short and sweet profile, I gotta say your photos are both lovely and intriguing.

Maybe the person just realized they had been talking to a bot for 3 days.

We know our photos look good. We picked them. We aren't looking for your validation. The fact you swipe right or speak shows your interested. Have substance. Be able to hold a conversation. Pick something in the profile and ask more about it.

[Deleted Member]

80 PERCENT of the entire internet land scape is nothing but " narcissistic sockpuppet ego stroking strawmen 💯'. A small group of people with tones of FAKE PROFILES POSTING AND THEN FALSELY PUFFING there ego w/fake profile pretending to be someone else in actuality its the same person/friend responding to there own pic/post. To gaslight, promote, belittle and make everyone else look stupid and unimportant. That's not that hard to see if you look to comments they will only like a select few comments from a select few individuals. Here comes the hate. Good bye

[Gi****]

I bet if she was interested in you her reply would have been different!
Maybe the problem is being able to accept a compliment with no expectations.

You are a photographer and likely really did admire the photos! Maybe next time include that you are a photographer in your comment.

I recently received a compliment from a man who was cross dressing (his words not mine)
He immediately told me he knows we aren’t a match but he wanted to compliment my weight loss success. I thanked him. He was super kind! We chatted a little.

It was a nice interaction. I hope you get kinder interactions here in the future!

[Fu****]

Unfortunately some people have bad manners that speak to their up bring and not your comments

[Se****]

But you kind of are overstepping boundaries. A public photo is public, if you then feel you want to comment your comment/compliment ought to also be public. A photo is not an invitation for you to enter someone’s inbox to provide what YOU deem to be a compliment. It isn’t about a change in the lifestyle, it’s about understanding where and when it is appropriate to comment or to send a message. If the photo encourages you to visit their profile and something therein intrigues you and gives you cause to reach out the by all means, provided their profile doesn’t indicate otherwise, do so and mention it was their photos that directed you to their profile. People can also accept compliments without necessarily replying to you or acknowledging your compliment - to think that they owe you a response or “manners” speaks more to the person sending the message than the person receiving it who didn’t ask for it in the first place.

I am fully aware that this isn’t the response you wanted to hear. I am also fully aware that this is only my opinion and that others disagree.