Why age isn’t the point!

[Se****]

Something I’ve noticed over time.

A lot of younger subs who reach out to me aren’t looking for intensity, bravado, or someone trying to impress them. And they’re definitely not all looking for a DDLG dynamic.

What they seem drawn to is steadiness.

Calm leadership.
Clear boundaries.
Someone who isn’t reactive or performative.

In my experience, it’s less about age and more about how power is held. Being settled. Being consistent. Knowing who you are and not needing constant validation.

For some subs, especially younger ones, that feels grounding. Safe. Intentional.

Not controlling. Not loud. Just… present.

That’s been my experience, anyway. Curious how others see it.

SD

[Deleted Member]

Good info. I’m new being a dom and I admit there is a lot I have to learn.

[St****]

I dislike DDLG, but I do give a good bit of wiggle room on age if they meet the criteria in other ways. From my experience older dominants are more calm and ready to lead. They lead not to have control in this one area of life but because they’re comfortable and confident in themselves as a whole. This is extremely attractive to me because I like being able to trust my partner has a handle on themselves as well as me in the moment.

[Mo****]

I am also a new M/D, and I have limited experience.

The younger subs I've encountered were chasing a fantasy but didn't really know what they wanted.
However, since I myself lack consistent practice with a sub. I haven't found my footing to even know exactly what boundaries to establish. So, although my demeanor is calm, firm, and nuturing.
I am lacking due to inexperience.

[Deleted Member]

2 minutes ago, MonaR said:

I am also a new M/D, and I have limited experience.

The younger subs I've encountered were chasing a fantasy but didn't really know what they wanted.
However, since I myself lack consistent practice with a sub. I haven't found my footing to even know exactly what boundaries to establish. So, although my demeanor is calm, firm, and nuturing.
I am lacking due to inexperience.

I’m guilty of chasing fantasies, it’s healthy for me to hear a lot of this from others perspectives. Like I said, I have a lot to learn about being a M/D

[19****]

That makes so much sense. If you were to read my ad, I’ve made that a focus as a Dominant. It was great to read this perspective.

[ta****]

Not just younger subs, trust me.

[Deleted Member]

Yup definitely not just the younger set. Us older ones have gotten tired of the games, and want the steady, calm, present and grounded Doms/masters.
Alot have not mastered finding that balance within and are just out for quick play.

[Ul****]

Everything comes in ebbs and flows.. when I first started in the scene 30 plus years ago, it used to be more like that.
Things seem to change towards the end of the 90s/early 2000s to become extreme, more intense. Almost like everyone joining the scene wanted to one-up the person before (almost to dangerous levels) I would say the past 10 years it has slowly been going back to how it was when I first started.
It's actually very refreshing to see this happening not only with the younger sub, but also with many of the older ones. It allows for more creative play.

[ey****]

this is true of subs of all ages.  I'm not sure why you need to specify the ambigious "younger" 

[Ul****]

6 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

this is true of subs of all ages.  I'm not sure why you need to specify the ambigious "younger" 

I don't think there is a need to turn nothing, into an accusatory something.. That may not be your intention, but in this day and age words have a lot more power and people can and will twist intentions. Now I don't know about the OP but for me being over 50, 'younger' subs would be in their 20s. Many of which are just starting to fully explore their kinks.

[Deleted Member]

Same

[ey****]

9 hours ago, Ulfvidr said:

 

I don't think there is a need to turn nothing, into an accusatory something.. That may not be your intention, but in this day and age words have a lot more power and people can and will twist intentions. Now I don't know about the OP but for me being over 50, 'younger' subs would be in their 20s. Many of which are just starting to fully explore their kinks.

I'm not being accusatory. I'm just unsure what anyone's age has to do with it, is all.  

[Ul****]

1 hour ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I'm not being accusatory. I'm just unsure what anyone's age has to do with it, is all.  

As I alluded to, there are better ways of phrasing things, so that there isn't any misunderstanding.
In terms of what age has to do with it, the OP was talking about a certain demographic of subs, that fit into the younger demographic, and this particular demographic behaves differently from those say in the 30-40 age range.
As I pointed out in my reply to the OP, in all the years i have been part of the scene, there was a massive change from how subs behaved when and looked for in their dom/dominatrix when i first joined the scene to that of the of the 90s to early 2000s when it was a period of extreme one-upmanship of who could take the most extreme *** to who could dish it out, to the point that is was starting to damage to the image of BDSM and kink.
And the damage to the image of the scene is still being felt today in the UK with more laws being added.. I.e The police, Crime, Sentencing and Courts Act of 2022 which introduced offences that override consent for non-fatal strangulation.
And I still see this behaviour is subs that attend the various club dungeons I still frequent, with those in the older age group wanting more extreme compared to those in the younger demographic, who are more in line with those from my generation and older.

[Ft****]

Out of everyone I've met it's always the men with grey or greying hair that have given me the best time so yer I'd agree. If it wasn't for the fact that it would be awkward for my family I'd be down to be with someone older long term

[BlueGrace]

Age does matter to me. I refuse to get involved with someone that doesn’t have a fully developed frontal cortex. I won’t be with anyone under the age of 30 or over 70. Age does play a significant factor when choosing my partners.