The Vanilla Trap

[no****]

Im curious to how people deal with the vanilla trap, as i for one struggle tremendously. It seems every time I am in between partners this happens to me. I am not a hook up or random encounter type, I love the mental connection and excitement that goes with it. The mental stimulation is as important as the physical for me. I am picky as to who I collar, because I see that as taking on a great deal of responsibility. This causes it to take awhile at times. Im not being cocky but I get hit on a lot, with my job im around differnt beautiful women all day everyday. I know there will be no satisfaction, at least at first I know. As time wears on I become hornier and hornier, I miss the feel and taste of a women. I miss it all so much I give in to a vanilla girl. I convince myself oh maybe this time I will be happy without kink. I end up saying yes to some sweet little vanilla girl. For a few months im ok, its a new beautiful thing thats filling a need i had to fulfill. But it wears off and no matter how perfect she is it doesnt fufill me. Its the same story over and over. I break some absolutely wonderful girls heart and create insecurities she doesnt deserve. To her things were great, and they were for me too. Almost perfect but lacking something i have to have. She's left wondering whats wrong with her and im left feeling like a POS. Ofcourse I always test the waters to see, and two of my kinkest partners ever were vanilla when we met, not when we parted ways 😀 my question is how do you all keep yourself out of these vanilla relationships you know are doomed from the start? I take pride in myself control but time is my enemy hear and i always lose.

[tr****]

I feel your frustration…I’m in the same position…
I broke up recently with my partner after 3 years and half kind for this reason, I was asking something new, nothing too excessive or out of relationship. It’s just that feeling of routine that kills me…
It’s hard to get over and open yourself cause they don’t really understand anyway what you missing…

Sad story, I loved her and missing her continuously, having an empty feeling even more than before with the vanilla routine….

[Zis]

I just had a conversation about that yesterday. A relationship is an add on to my life and not a necessity. Im going out, love my friends and flirt with people without feeling lonely, because my platonical relationships are nurturing me to the fullest. And when I want to have sex I have it 😅
I dont think, that i could have a vanilla relationships without any kinks, but it doesnt have to be the kinkiest, if my partner is not in to it, because as a dom Im motivated by my sub. Footfetish is a must but not pegging for example... I just love the feeling of a warm mouth. But do I put that pressure on someone who isnt in to it? No.
It is our responsibility to check if our partners are into our kinks before we bind them to us with the idea of a vanilla relationship for years, just because we repress our needs for kinks, so we get laid or be hold by someone.
Man up...

[Lu****]

I think we like to hyperfocus on the things we don’t have. That *one* thing becomes everything and the rest is mentally lost. Everyone has to decide for themselves but you might find that it‘s worth giving up some kinks for having a stable relationship. Are the kinks worth being alone for long stretches?