Limits (or lack thereof)

[ha****]

I don’t know if I’m alone here, but do any other subs feel like it’s a red flag when doms write “none” in their limits?
I don’t actually know why they do it. No one has zero limits.

I have a couple theories. Let me know if any of these ring true.

1. They are uneducated/new to the scene
2. They are trying to attract as many people as possible, just because
3. They don’t care enough to actually write anything there.

Thoughts?

[Deleted Member]

As a switch I think it’s all 3 I’m new to this so I don’t have a lot of limits as I haven’t much experience but I for sure have hard limits that I won’t touch.

[Do****]

All valid, and another layer I've noticed: some use "none" as a weird flex to signal "I'm the ultimate dom, I can handle anything." It's performative more than practical. Seasoned players know the opposite is true....listing thoughtful limits (and asking for yours) shows you understand risk, consent, and the mental side of power exchange. Blank means they're either clueless about the risks or pretending not to be.

[Te****]

If it’s truly none, then red flag. But could be that they either didn’t put anything or assume it’s no limits towards the sub? Either way, everyone has limits even if they haven’t discovered any yet

[Deleted Member]

the problem is, that if you're looking at it as a genuine list of 'limits', there's almost an infinite number of things that anyone could come up with, that should be a limit, otherwise it would be a red flag. so if someone states the obvious and says anything with minors and ***s is a limit, someone else could go.... oh so you don't see having sex with a dead person as a 'limit' then? red flag! you can't use something like this as a real thing to judge someone on. that's the whole point of conversation so you can get a real feel for the other person

[Do****]

All valid, and another layer I've noticed: some use "none" as a weird flex to signal "I'm the ultimate dom, I can handle anything." It's performative more than practical. Seasoned players know the opposite is true...listing thoughtful limits (and asking for yours) shows you understand risk, consent, and the mental side of power exchange. Blank means they're either clueless about the risks or pretending not to be.

[Ma****]

7 minutes ago, play_hard said:

the problem is, that if you're looking at it as a genuine list of 'limits', there's almost an infinite number of things that anyone could come up with, that should be a limit, otherwise it would be a red flag. so if someone states the obvious and says anything with minors and ***s is a limit, someone else could go.... oh so you don't see having sex with a dead person as a 'limit' then? red flag! you can't use something like this as a real thing to judge someone on. that's the whole point of conversation so you can get a real feel for the other person

Valid point. But I think within the scope of what’s listed on this app (*** is not one of those) people are expecting to see something off of that list. If the answer is “None” then I assume you’re into ***, vomit, ***, hunting, you catch my drift. But then you message the person and they’re like “uhhh idk”

[Alleyboy]

I'm the last person to answer.But when you don't know anything about someone , you have to just like go with your trust through your guidance , that's I would consider it a red flag

[Alleyboy]

Yeah , guidance was supposed to say gut instinct

[Go****]

Yes, I tend to avoid anyone who actually states that they don’t have any limits. For all of the reasons you’ve listed, but also I’ve found that those that do this never match my own criteria of the type of person I get along with.

Limits and boundaries involve discussions, not assumptions that you’ll do things just because you’ve not listed them as such.

Of course there will always be things you’ve not thought of yet, and the list could go on infinitely, but anyone that actually believes those will be the only limits and can twist them to fit their agenda, is absolutely NOT the person I want to be involved in.

[Ma****]

Is it just me or can I not see all of the comments at once? I’m new to the app..

[Deleted Member]

It's a red flag if anyone writes that regardless of preference, particularly if they say they're experienced. They might say they don't know if they're new and that's okay but just saying they don't have any is definitely a warning sign.

[ke****]

I always ask what are someone's real limits most come back with one or 2 things then I ask them if they are into very taboo things most people when asked that comes out with a laundry list of limits

[Curiously_Exploring]

I avoid interacting with anyone, regardless of role, who states that they have no limits.
To me, it shows complete immaturity and irresponsibility.
I'm at the start of my personal journey exploring kinks, but for decades I've had friends who have been actively involved in the lifestyle. I have always been aware that kinks are about consent, and understanding your boundaries.
Before I even joined this site or any others, I had already "done my homework", developing a strong understanding of my hard and soft limits so that I won't put myself in any situations that could be emotionally or physically dangerous. I would expect the same from anyone that I engage with.

[Curiously_Exploring]

45 minutes ago, play_hard said:

the problem is, that if you're looking at it as a genuine list of 'limits', there's almost an infinite number of things that anyone could come up with, that should be a limit, otherwise it would be a red flag. so if someone states the obvious and says anything with minors and ***s is a limit, someone else could go.... oh so you don't see having sex with a dead person as a 'limit' then? red flag! you can't use something like this as a real thing to judge someone on. that's the whole point of conversation so you can get a real feel for the other person

I believe that the OP is referencing specifically those who write "None", or "No limits!" Or those who leave the Limits field completely blank.
Of course a list can't cover everything, but a list shows thought and intention.

[MsDrawers]

I think its a combination of ignorance and bravado. They imagine there's something macho and daring about being up for anything. Eejits with no imagination. Profoundly stupid in their arrogance. Frequently not particularly kinky either.

[my****]

I think its just them indicating they are open, as in why scare someone off. Everyone has limits

[Ad****]

If a sub told me she has no limits I’d consider that a red flag too

[Da****]

I would say bc I just started exploring this lifestyle I say no limits bc I want to open myself up to new experiences and I’ll learn my limits after I’ve explored more

[Ra****]

Absolute red flag for me. Even if it’s just that they’re exploring or can’t be bothered to type.. I typically start by asking if they’d take a cactus in their balloon knot and then open the discussion from there.

[cr****]

Thus might be a bit nieve, but I would take that as them being willing to do whatever you want, while not going beyond your limits

[su****]

Me personally I know my limits by experiencing them myself then I can understand the *** levels in completing each one and then I decide which ones I don’t want to do again -when I started and decided to be a dom (over 16 years ago now ) I decided by choice to experience things from the subs side first so really I start as a submissive to gain knowledge and better understanding

[Bi****]

Mine says I’ll let you know if I find any. I haven’t explored everything, and someday I may find something. But I’ve explored more than many, and have yet to find something I refuse to do as a Dom. But that doesn’t mean I won’t respect yours. If you say you have none, we’ll explore that and see if it’s true; if we find something, you’ll let me know and I will always respect it. At the same time, if you have quite a few limits, that doesn’t mean I’m annoyed, frustrated, or any less interested because I don’t have any, nor will I overstep your limits or pressure you to change them. My limits are just a statement about myself, it doesn’t mean I expect the same from you.

Hope that helps.

[fe****]

Big red flag

[Curiously_Exploring]

1 hour ago, D***89 said:

I would say bc I just started exploring this lifestyle I say no limits bc I want to open myself up to new experiences and I’ll learn my limits after I’ve explored more

Everyone has limits, though - before you start to explore the lifestyle, it's important that you consider what your hard and soft limits would be, to avoid potential physical or emotional harm.
For example - how do you feel about extreme ***?
Ball-busting?
Being branded?
Having parts of your body removed or modified?