I would like to discuss psychological sadism

[JusticeForHJ]

Recently, I had a discussion with somebody who identified this way, well intellectual sadism is what she called it. My interest was piqued and my anxiety a little because I do not *** physical domination (assuming there is no permanent or long lasting ***) the same way I am afraid of my ***s, history, trauma, values, shame, guilt, etc. receiving that kind of vivisection. The interaction did not get very far because we became derailed twice, however she assured me that what she does is more akin to shining a laser on something, to raise awareness of something. But as we ended things early. I would like to understand a little more so I don't lose this opportunity should it arise again.

Edit: I want to add that this really isn't a request for guidance, I have a mental health practitioner so I really don't need the whole therapy advice (nor is it a "how to find a sadist", though I'm sure some would be interested). I am trying to understand the mechanism that motivates psychological sadism with curiosity/open mindedness, because it is not something I fully "get" from the other side and is harder with my own tendency towards self-destruction, to absorb the additional impact, which I think is why I think I reactively "noped" before (because I already am my own sadist). Because I just don't have the shoulders right now for "two" sadists, but there is a sort of ambiguity to it that my mind "wants" resolving.

[Ul****]

For me, it's the fact that I am so degrading on myself (not the same as sadism but perhaps a similar concept) that makes me want to be degraded in kink play. As long as there is sufficient aftercare to "reverse the damage", it is very freeing for me.

[Bl****]

Intellectual sadism is, in my opinion, better called emotional or psychological sadism. It goes along with, and at times can be indistinguishable from, *** play.

[JusticeForHJ]

10 minutes ago, ***OfLethe said:

Intellectual sadism is, in my opinion, better called emotional or psychological sadism. It goes along with, and at times can be indistinguishable from, *** play.

I cannot see the asterisks because of this website's moderation policy. However, the woman I was talking with did not consider it sexual.

[Bl****]

13 hours ago, JusticeForHJ said:

I cannot see the asterisks because of this website's moderation policy. However, the woman I was talking with did not consider it sexual.

It was d.egrad.ation and it is not inherently sexual

[JusticeForHJ]

6 hours ago, ***OfLethe said:

 

It was d.egrad.ation and it is not inherently sexual

That's correct. Sorry sometimes words are filtered that don't really need to be on this site, and it makes it difficult to convey meaning accurately.

 

I don't think the person I was talking to was a degrader. She may have thought of herself as more logical or correct than would be a realistic self-appraisal. It gets difficult for people to lose this self-image of themselves when their intelligence reaches a certain threshold because ideas about how sometimes they can be emotional like everyone else, and therefore thinking they are always logical/analytical actually hurts their objectivity. Then this comes across as patronising because the people presenting such ideas identify themselves as "communicative authorities". So, this idea has to be continually accepted and then rejected again, when surrounded by people who firstly need correcting and then just don't, while facilitating people's ideas of what a "good communicator" looks like.

[MistressWhipplash]

Mutual consent and sadism parameters are discussed first. Including topics we each avoid. I decline to touch on self worth, education or race.
I refuse any ambiguity, every single topic is discussed at length.
I also discuss the personality and past traumas. I decline those with severe childhood trauma, ex-alcoholics or those with severe past relationship trauma.

The mind needs to be strong and stable before I take it down the rabbit hole.

The mind must not be harmed and needs to feel the same after playtime euphoria wears off. Mutual safety is key..

RACK =Risk Aware Consential kink is what I do. I decide where I spend my time for my own sanity. No long-term harm.
It's a balance that I feel requires an equilibrium.

[JusticeForHJ]

On 3/20/2026 at 6:27 PM, MistressWhipplash said:

Mutual consent and sadism parameters are discussed first. Including topics we each avoid. I decline to touch on self worth, education or race.
I refuse any ambiguity, every single topic is discussed at length.
I also discuss the personality and past traumas. I decline those with severe childhood trauma, ex-alcoholics or those with severe past relationship trauma.

The mind needs to be strong and stable before I take it down the rabbit hole.

The mind must not be harmed and needs to feel the same after playtime euphoria wears off. Mutual safety is key..

RACK =Risk Aware Consential kink is what I do. I decide where I spend my time for my own sanity. No long-term harm.
It's a balance that I feel requires an equilibrium.

Once you both believe the boundaries are agreed upon, where do you move from there though, in terms of psychological sadism? Is it about growth from the things that make us feel uncomfortable? Is it a sense of justice when that sense of discomfort is rightful? Is it simply about observing the way someone reacts to a particular kind of pressure? Is it about feeling in control? 

 

How do you achieve that impact?

[MistressWhipplash]

Wednesday at 11:00 PM, JusticeForHJ said:

Once you both believe the boundaries are agreed upon, where do you move from there though, in terms of psychological sadism? Is it about growth from the things that make us feel uncomfortable? Is it a sense of justice when that sense of discomfort is rightful? Is it simply about observing the way someone reacts to a particular kind of pressure? Is it about feeling in control? 

 

How do you achieve that impact?

Initially it us a very slow approach a key phrase to start and a key phrase to end that time. With praise after telling that person they are brave.
Building trust, with each feeling safe, each feeling valued (Me and mine )

I am a Lifestyle Dominant Sadist Woman so me being in daily authority of my Household is natural. (I have two, one is my live-in-Property my second is live-out.)

Emotional sadism on mine is about me enjoying their mind while making them squirm, to give me pleasure. I already have control

The reaction is my treasure. The big eyes, the gasps. Mutual consent is present, all the structure is in place I say the start word then continue. My mental sadism is often, but not always, combined with physical sadism. With my live-in-Property we also do CNC time . But with no one else. We have lived together for 8 years My treasured live-out is on a slow long term trust build up so my sadism is just touching his mind.

I am careful in my approach.