Does it actually work?

[Deleted Member]

4 hours ago, davidtafahema1989 said:

Yep always the toxic chads that you still sleep with anyway 😂

You’re projecting. Do women sleep with “toxic chads” or just men they actually find attractive which sometimes isn’t you? I don’t sleep with anyone I can’t have a conversation with but they still have to be hot to me. sorry I have standards 🙄

[Sa****]

I simply just don't respond to that sorts of nonsense,. If u can't come at me like a decent human being and have some self control with whatever it is you want to tell me, then it spells bigger problems later on.

[Ga****]

Very rarely a lewd message will give me the tingles- but I always find it disrespectful and either scold or ignore. My profile is very clear about not wanting that shit, so if a guy will contact me in a way that shows he hasn’t read my profile or refuses to respect my boundaries… well, that’s a hard limit right there.

[Deleted Member]

12 hours ago, davidtafahema1989 said:

Yes it works because some women don’t take themselves as seriously as you do lol, I send lewd message, they send a lewd message back. We’re on a app to fuck, not have philosophical debates about how to approach women on a literal kink app

I’m sorry Dave you keep doing that and let’s compare notes in 6 months. Stupid

[Tr****]

I just explain I prefer to be finessed as a Domme I don't mind teaching them how to treat me 😜😘🔥👅💦

[Deleted Member]

The men in here trying to justify sending a lewd message is insane. The fact is you don’t know that person period so get to know them. You can’t string together a couple of non sexual thoughts to eventually get the conversation to that point?

“Well it’s a numbers game” 😢
“I don’t get any attention when I type out long thought out messages so I give up” 😢
“I get passed over or ignored” 😢

Maybe some of these men need to get off the apps and do a little self work inside and out before wasting a woman’s time.

[kk****]

Never worked for me...not my kink...I tend to block or call them out on it...do they talk to their mom's that way...? Or thier ***...? Or would they say that face to face in public...? If not they shouldn't do it anywhere else...

[al****]

Well, as someone looking for something real. It's annoying cause my messages get lost in a sea of crappy messages

[Or****]

My best long term fwb happened by sending “smoke fuck and cuddle?” She replied “how about just smoke and fuck” lol

[JayBrendon]

This is interesting and I actually managed to get lucky twice. There's a trick to it. 1st don't be boring and just say hi lol. Second you want to naughty but also a gentleman about it. Say something a bit cheeky that'll catch her attention and mentain that same flow. And finally, actually read her profile guys!! U be surprised of how many women actually appreciate that.

You're welcome 😊

[li****]

You wouldn't talk like this to a stranger in the street and the same rule should apply online. It doesn't matter that it's a fetish site, I have not consented to a lewd exchange WITH YOU. In fact I explicitly mention in my profile that I don't do cyberfun. So it's an immediate block in my case.

[JayBrendon]

That's completely understandable. But I'm gonna be 100% real with u, I think it's expected on a site like this. I personally don't send messages that are VERY lewd but I know some people do. Men and women cos I've received some too

[li****]

35 minutes ago, JayBrendon said:

That's completely understandable. But I'm gonna be 100% real with u, I think it's expected on a site like this. I personally don't send messages that are VERY lewd but I know some people do. Men and women cos I've received some too

Well I'm not shocked that rude people exist, if that's what you mean by "expected". In any case most people aren't able to contact me anyway so I don't get those messages a lot.

[Mi****]

10 hours ago, Nightstick said:

The men in here trying to justify sending a lewd message is insane. The fact is you don’t know that person period so get to know them. You can’t string together a couple of non sexual thoughts to eventually get the conversation to that point?

“Well it’s a numbers game” 😢
“I don’t get any attention when I type out long thought out messages so I give up” 😢
“I get passed over or ignored” 😢

Maybe some of these men need to get off the apps and do a little self work inside and out before wasting a woman’s time.

Your long thought out messages get responses? I also notice your photos have likes and you’re over 6’ and look incredibly handsome. Maybe we just have different experiences based on our looks, no?

[La****]

18 hours ago, MisterSatisfaction said:

I was just curious if there is still a threshold for physical appearance for you.

I find it all quite fascinating. Wish I could live it out a lot more, but nonetheless it’s still intriguing even if only experiencing from the outside looking in for the most part.

So interested in how your experience goes. Sounds like you have a more than unique perception on it all. Do you always get your initial attraction from psychological attributes? Or is it sometimes also from physical attributes or a mix of the two? Is one easier to find than the other? Are there common struggles or frustrations in your pursuit of what you’re looking for?

There are a thousand hot bodies on here. (Whether they belong to real people is a different question!) There are not a lot of minds that interest me.

I read profiles. I am only interested in men who share my ideals and have the right mindset. I want to be outmatched mentally. So I'm only interested in people I think can do that.

BDSM is a mind game.

[pl****]

It usually comes from guys that are looking for a quick hook up, I personally don’t like getting them, it comes across as the person thinking you’re just a easy loose woman, which I am not. I actually like to have a friendship with my connections for long term and get togethers just hang out as well. I’m very selective about my choices .

[Deleted Member]

36 minutes ago, Lady_Char said:

There are a thousand hot bodies on here. (Whether they belong to real people is a different question!) There are not a lot of minds that interest me.

I read profiles. I am only interested in men who share my ideals and have the right mindset. I want to be outmatched mentally. So I'm only interested in people I think can do that.

BDSM is a mind game.

That is honestly refreshing to read. Anyone can present a body. Very few people present a mind that is intentional, self-aware, and actually aligned with their values. That level of discernment tells me you are not here for noise. You are here for depth.

And you are right.
The psychological dynamic is the foundation. Without mental alignment, the rest is just surface-level performance bullshit.

Wanting to be mentally outmatched does not come across as arrogance. It reads more like intellectual curiosity mixed with trust in emotional structure and connection. That is a rare combination.

The part that stands out most is that you read profiles and look for mindset over aesthetics. That suggests you value presence, awareness, and psychological compatibility over impulse. That is exactly where real connection, and especially any meaningful power dynamic, actually lives.

If BDSM is a mind game, then the real question is not who is the most attractive.
It is who can engage with intention, emotional intelligence, and restraint.

Because the strongest dynamics are not built on control alone.
They are built on mutual understanding, mental tension, and the ability to hold depth without needing constant validation. What do you think? I’m excited to hear what you think.

[Mi****]

37 minutes ago, Lady_Char said:

There are a thousand hot bodies on here. (Whether they belong to real people is a different question!) There are not a lot of minds that interest me.

I read profiles. I am only interested in men who share my ideals and have the right mindset. I want to be outmatched mentally. So I'm only interested in people I think can do that.

BDSM is a mind game.

Interesting. I mean I love the possibility of being physically good looking enough to be given the chance to show my ability to mentally stimulate. Sex between higher intelligence individuals is on another level.

It takes multiple in person interactions to really fully see my mind game, though. Small talk via messages on a dating app or a bio barely scratch the surface of who I am.

I feel like no one will ever truly see my intellectual side on an app—it’s just too shallow, small talk based. So, personally, I think the best connections for mental stimulation are made in the real world. Apps are all surface level stuff.

How do you gauge if someone might be capable of outmatching you mentally on dating apps?

[da****]

Yesterday at 01:31 AM, Lilacs_and_Lust said:

Maybe that was my evil plan all along! You’re welcome everyone >;3 (jk it’s just an expected side effect)

Cringe!!

[da****]

Yesterday at 01:31 AM, Lilacs_and_Lust said:

Maybe that was my evil plan all along! You’re welcome everyone >;3 (jk it’s just an expected side effect)

Open wide

[La****]

53 minutes ago, MisterSatisfaction said:

Interesting. I mean I love the possibility of being physically good looking enough to be given the chance to show my ability to mentally stimulate. Sex between higher intelligence individuals is on another level.

It takes multiple in person interactions to really fully see my mind game, though. Small talk via messages on a dating app or a bio barely scratch the surface of who I am.

I feel like no one will ever truly see my intellectual side on an app—it’s just too shallow, small talk based. So, personally, I think the best connections for mental stimulation are made in the real world. Apps are all surface level stuff.

How do you gauge if someone might be capable of outmatching you mentally on dating apps?

A conversation? You get to see how people's mind works.

[Mi****]

30 minutes ago, Lady_Char said:

A conversation? You get to see how people's mind works.

Well that’s cool. Maybe I’m just more old school in that way, I can only to that in real life. Messaging just doesn’t touch deeply enough on it for me.

That’s awesome you are able to find what you’re looking for on dating apps! Must admit I am actually very jealous lol

[No****]

Its so annoying when the first thing they say is "nudes" "videos" "let me do this dirty thing to you" etc. Like, dude, at LEAST say hi first. Im 99% still not going to continue the convo if youre just gonna dive straight into the nasty dirty talk, but whyyyy do they think it's okay?

[La****]

3 hours ago, kindredkinks said:

That is honestly refreshing to read. Anyone can present a body. Very few people present a mind that is intentional, self-aware, and actually aligned with their values. That level of discernment tells me you are not here for noise. You are here for depth.

And you are right.
The psychological dynamic is the foundation. Without mental alignment, the rest is just surface-level performance bullshit.

Wanting to be mentally outmatched does not come across as arrogance. It reads more like intellectual curiosity mixed with trust in emotional structure and connection. That is a rare combination.

The part that stands out most is that you read profiles and look for mindset over aesthetics. That suggests you value presence, awareness, and psychological compatibility over impulse. That is exactly where real connection, and especially any meaningful power dynamic, actually lives.

If BDSM is a mind game, then the real question is not who is the most attractive.
It is who can engage with intention, emotional intelligence, and restraint.

Because the strongest dynamics are not built on control alone.
They are built on mutual understanding, mental tension, and the ability to hold depth without needing constant validation. What do you think? I’m excited to hear what you think.

I think it's important to bring your own value to BDSM. A sub isn't mindless, or dim, or a wallflower. Knowing who you are and being confident enough in yourself to let someone hold dominion over you is very important, I think.

Of course, we also bring our own pride along. I couldn't sub to someone I thought didn't see me and value me.

[li****]

6 hours ago, MisterSatisfaction said:

Your long thought out messages get responses? I also notice your photos have likes and you’re over 6’ and look incredibly handsome. Maybe we just have different experiences based on our looks, no?

The person you're talking to hasn't revealed enough of himself for a woman to be able to tell if he's incredibly handsome or not. His pictures do not have more likes than yours.
Women in general do not like pictures of men because it is interpreted as a reason for them to spam us with messages when it actually we were just liking a picture.
You're really overthinking everything too much.