Monogamy… Polyamory

[UK****]

4 hours ago, rainbowcataclysm said:

 

The apps actually do this to veer you to pay for it. I understand not wanting to be bothered and hoping someone will read your profile and not cross your boundaries… top one for you being monogamous. It matters.

How is this a behaviour encouraged by the apps?  As messages are limited, surely saving messages for the people who fit what you are looking for seems a sensible move.  

[th****]

This app does a bad job of filtering your desires youve specified lol but its cool im open for friends hahah

[De****]

I’m monogamous and open to dating poly woman for short periods of time or in a non-committal way until find what I’m actually looking for. In order for the situation to work I think both people need to be intentional about their interactions. I think a problem arises when you start trying to build deep connections with people that are not compatible with you.

[Ro****]

Im poly and prefer poly. Nothing I distaste more in that moment of disappointment when I realize they are expecting me to become monogamous for them. Sorry, not sorry, but I'll only go monogamous for me. No one else can decide that for me.

[Sl****]

Poly, I approach whoever. Regardless of whether they say they're mono or not. Everyone starts out as mono until they're not. It's just about proper communication. I list that I'm poly, with one partner and that it's mainly just open on my end. My partner is mono but is fine with me exploring being poly and bringing others in. At times it's sort of like one big family.

[ke****]

being poly does not mean sex with any and everyone is crazy , because singles have more random sex than poly people from my experience people are poly for other reasons besides sex , so is sex comes to mind when you hear a person is poly you may want to educate yourself like read a book or even Google it 😆

[al****]

I'm fine with monogamous people if they are open to being involved with a poly person. I found alot of monogamous people run when they hear I'm poly and often with choice unessasary words.

[Ch****]

I’ve always been poly, but after 30 years of it I’m seriously considering monogamy. I’d be open to discussion about either, but I’m finding it harder to find the kind of poly that fits with me. I’m non-hierarchical and find people with nesting partners tend to be unwilling to do the work to unpick couples privilege, so I think it might be easier these days to just go with monogamy as there are clear expectations. Never done it before, but what’s life without trying new things?!

[Th****]

I poly people don’t deserve a place in my life, one of my exes tried to f@rce me to be poly and after several conversations with her that I DONT SHARE we eventually broke up after a year of bullshit, so no, poly people don’t deserve my time or respect….PERIOD

[fa****]

I dont trust poly ppl anymore..my ex asked me if we cud once with another woman.....turns out that woman had another man..amd she was sharing naked pics of my girl with her man and I wasn't getting to see anyone of the other girl....so nope never again...I mean if they just wanna talk...uea that's fine...but relationship..nooe..unless they are willing to not be poly

[Gh****]

I'm poly (or I think ambiamorous is when you can go either way?). I'm way happier poly. It's helped me grow more confident and more outgoing as a whole which is always a plus.

Lotta scumbags using poly/ENM to be bad people tho which makes it hard to find good matches sometimes.

[Ba****]

I get confused when monogamous people are interested in my poly self. Seems like I'm just someone to play with until someone better comes along. I'm not a swinger, I'm poly, I want relationships, not just quick sex. I prefer other poly people because they understand that they aren't the only one and that times have to be divided for everybody.

[Ba****]

While i would prefer girls with their own girlfriends and try to no initiate things with officially self proclaimed monogamous people or people who are not at least bi curious, i have no problem them coming to me when they are interested
I’ll just have to make sure they understand that i’m not going to be monogamous, as long as there is no miscommunication and they are still cool with it then there is no problem

[MrSmooth7764akaDaddy]

Im poly and i dont want anything to do with monopoly so id rather no talk to anyone who is because they will never understand my need for multiple partners

[my****]

I am monogamous to a fault. I do not share my toys. So no, when polys check into me or message, I politely decline and say it probably isn’t a good fit.

[Ja****]

I assume all people who are looking for monogamy wouldn't be okay with me being poly, so I normally don't even bother.

[Curiously_Exploring]

This is an interesting thread.
I've realised that I'm flexible regarding this, so I have no issues either way.
I'm not a jealous person, so while I tend to have only one partner at a time (mainly due to my busy schedule), dating people who are poly is just fine.
The only thing that I wouldn't want, is to be part of a polycule - I'm happy living on my own.

[in****]

17 hours ago, Thegoddamnmuffinman said:

I poly people don’t deserve a place in my life, one of my exes tried to f@rce me to be poly and after several conversations with her that I DONT SHARE we eventually broke up after a year of bullshit, so no, poly people don’t deserve my time or respect….PERIOD

Poly people don't get to have respect because of someone you dated once? That's a concerning take.

[ra****]

Yesterday at 04:32 AM, Niratchi said:

Im poly, last relationship was monogamous because my ex said he had bad experiences with that..had a slight feeling it's more about having some sort of control over someone else or just wanted to feel secure. Felt like he talked in a "thats my partner" type of way about an ex.
However, that relationship really showed me that i will not go into a mono relationship and due to an autoimmune disease im more reliant to be able to trust my partners. In other words, if we just text or become friends a monogamous person can text me, if its the case that a monogamous person just wants a relationship then they could just not waste my time.

Maybe not the answer you wanted, you asked for opinions of monogamous people, but that might still give you some sort of perspective.

I wanted the opinions of both sides. I stand firm that I don’t want to be bothered by monogamous people. I came here for a specific thing. I did not come here to become friends and I definitely did not come here to be in a monogamous relationship so I wanted other people‘s opinions on monogamous people coming into their DM‘s talking to them sexually or polyamorous people coming into their DM’s the monogamous people’s DM’s and talking to them sexually how do you feel about that? I definitely wanted both sides.

[ra****]

Yesterday at 05:22 AM, NexumSange said:

I don't mind CONVERSATION with most, respectful, people. I am super frustrated by and with people who do not read profiles [in particular, what someone is wanting and not wanting], and by those who simply disregard those.
Countless messages from folks with differing fundamentals, desires, basics AND deeper preferences.

There are times when I see something or someone and I am compelled to comment something because it's going to disrupt my life to not do so => says who??? anyone?
Maybe.
If you want to talk to someone and you know that you have differing fundamental aspects, and you want to talk to them about something else or even to discuss Clarity or literally anything along those lines, Then you explain that in an initial message, RESPECTFULLY (ffs), and ASK if they even want to engage in that at all.

Accept no. Accept no response. Accept that they don't have to....

I myself believe in polyamoury and the concept that a person can LOVE more than one person at the same time. And I may be open to a Polyam entanglement. However, I do not enjoy being the side piece, the unicorn, the play partner while wife/husbando are away and or aren't into doing whatever they want to do with *me*, just being pursued for sextivities...

Therefore I am a very specific 'type' of Solo-Polyamorous, mostly Relationship Anarchist, sometime Monogamous-seeking Beast wanting nothing to do with Dudes (or anyone) seeking sex, ONS, kink dispensers, whom have zero interest in the person or developing anything outside of genuine, non-performative, non-physically indulgent efforts.

Tired of folks thinking Polyamorous means nymphomaniac/satyromaniac slave, servant, will sleep/play with anyone or confusing it with being transgenderred 🤷🏻‍♂️ [Yes, that actually happened, yes it was on this particular app.]

I might engage Anyone in a chat. If we don't align from the beginning based on publicly seen information (i.e., your or my bio, profile) and you message with intentions other than some interesting convo, I will ignore, block, delete, educate, inform, and or blast as I see fit.

Glad i am not alone in that last paragraph.

[ra****]

Yesterday at 06:40 AM, Latreian said:

Monogamous but have been involved with some poly women but I find myself a bit too territorial to be happy in that situation.

Not the question.

[ra****]

Yesterday at 05:25 AM, mrfixshit86 said:

Monogamy is more of a long-term thing short term maybe you only f**k around with one person at a time but in the end when you find the one you stay there

Did you read the question?

[ra****]

Yesterday at 06:46 AM, raerae42 said:

Poly and it you don't put anything about monogamy on your profile I'mma slide into your DMs.

That is understandable the non-reflective folks really are a problem.

[ra****]

23 hours ago, alinjohn2 said:

I'm fine with monogamous people if they are open to being involved with a poly person. I found alot of monogamous people run when they hear I'm poly and often with choice unessasary words.

You are a problem. They shouldn’t be bothered by you in the first place… they are monogamous. Leave them alone.

[ra****]

Yesterday at 09:56 AM, Devininno said:

I’m monogamous and open to dating poly woman for short periods of time or in a non-committal way until find what I’m actually looking for. In order for the situation to work I think both people need to be intentional about their interactions. I think a problem arises when you start trying to build deep connections with people that are not compatible with you.

You are a problem… stick to your own kind. We have feelings too. Leave poly people alone unless you are willing to change same goes for poly people.