What kind of man do you need?

[Se****]

I mean the first thing that comes to mind is:

A woman NEEDS a man…

Like a fish NEEDS a bicycle.

And for clarity when I say woman/man I actually mean any human needing another - but the quote fits in the context of the post.

Save for a few very small exceptions (think those that rely on others to actually keep them alive) nobody actually NEEDS another person.

Wanting

Desiring

Looking for

Enjoying

Yes, perhaps. But NEEDING another, no.

However, a person may NEED the person they are in a relationship with to have certain qualities/traits.

This post screams mansplaining to “women” what they need based on a view solely from one lens. I’d be interested in knowing who the “many women” are that believe strength means doing everything alone - is this research based or anecdotal? I’m also interested to understand what your definition is of the masculinity you state the world needs? 

Edited March 2 by SerendipitousKeeper
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[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, AKA_Copper said:

Where was this?

I'll venture to say the use of the word "rights" isn't accurate but perhaps we'll get educated on some far off society in which this is true.

[Deleted Member]

Man you’ve thrown yourself in a cage of lion(ess) here with your statements 😂
This take some guts and I congrats with you for this, I mean it..
I think this one of those places where, overall, more hetero woman thinks they don’t need a man or that man is good for nothing but let’s go trough it.

I think we should make a distinguo here in needing a man: is it related to needing a man in a relationship or in a society?

In the first case I’d say it depends: if I should consider that your message is directed to heterosexual woman there are many that are not heterosexual ergo they won’t be interested romantically and physically in man.
So needing a man in this case is doubtful and should be discussed.

From a societal prospective instead I think that man is needed more than many would like to admit.

That is my take on it

[M1****]

Men really just need to learn their lane, to understand our own value and stop pretending that we understand what women need…what everyone needs is for men to focus on themselves and grow to the point past believing they have the capacity, ability and right to even comment about this - let alone say it publicly and not be embarrassed

[Deleted Member]

2 hours ago, M134 said:

Men really just need to learn their lane, to understand our own value and stop pretending that we understand what women need…what everyone needs is for men to focus on themselves and grow to the point past believing they have the capacity, ability and right to even comment about this - let alone say it publicly and not be embarrassed

I don’t get what you are saying..
Ok I agree that improving is essential but I don’t understand the embarrassing thing that you are saying..
Can you explain it?

[Tr****]

2 hours ago, Australopiteco said:

Man you’ve thrown yourself in a cage of lion(ess) here with your statements 😂
This take some guts and I congrats with you for this, I mean it..
I think this one of those places where, overall, more hetero woman thinks they don’t need a man or that man is good for nothing but let’s go trough it.

I think we should make a distinguo here in needing a man: is it related to needing a man in a relationship or in a society?

In the first case I’d say it depends: if I should consider that your message is directed to heterosexual woman there are many that are not heterosexual ergo they won’t be interested romantically and physically in man.
So needing a man in this case is doubtful and should be discussed.

From a societal prospective instead I think that man is needed more than many would like to admit.

That is my take on it

I am not afraid to admit I need a man

[Tr****]

I admit I require a man for balance and challenge,to forge trust, to bring order and calm,to lead with integrity,to provide safety and to build beside.t
this allows my she/they energy to finally rest in a safe harbor also biologically a woman's nervous system can co-regulate with a grounded protective male presence also when he provides calm with his presence he can biologically help you shift out of fight or flight a man who provides safety triggers a release of the hormone oxytocin and a female
This hormonal response lowers cortisol allowing the woman to soften because she realizes she's safe beside a steadfast anchor not to mention the procreative drive your biologically built to respond to a man who doesn't run from responsibility but leans into it nature created men for balance designed for the women a man frequencey to challenge and sharpen one another while you are whole on your own your biology recognizes that standing with a man who loves without hesitation creates a structural integrity that a person doing everything alone simply cannot achieve your body isn't a cage it's a map it tells you that even the strongest fire needs a hearth to hold it

[Tr****]

6 hours ago, FunSin said:

Well you have be able to get in her head before getting in her body. So she can truly feel freed, safe, and be able to submit without worrying about anything she might do wrong or worry about baggage she’s been holding onto from the past

You show me a man who actually takes the time to do that and I will bow down and kiss your feet

[Deleted Member]

If "i dont need a man" stripped masculinity, was it even there to begin with?

There are many factors the go in the ion need a man movement, and a lot of that is on us as men.

Reproduction is the only true need of both a woman and man, everything else is open game (religion/culture may vary)

Instead of describing the perfect man, how about we hold the lacking ones accountable?

[li****]

Cringe

[ra****]

12 hours ago, SerendipitousKeeper said:

I mean the first thing that comes to mind is:

A woman NEEDS a man…

Like a fish NEEDS a bicycle.

And for clarity when I say woman/man I actually mean any human needing another - but the quote fits in the context of the post.

Save for a few very small exceptions (think those that rely on others to actually keep them alive) nobody actually NEEDS another person.

Wanting

Desiring

Looking for

Enjoying

Yes, perhaps. But NEEDING another, no.

However, a person may NEED the person they are in a relationship with to have certain qualities/traits.

This post screams mansplaining to “women” what they need based on a view solely from one lens. I’d be interested in knowing who the “many women” are that believe strength means doing everything alone - is this research based or anecdotal? I’m also interested to understand what your definition is of the masculinity you state the world needs? 

I was just thinking about the word need as i read all of these and wanting another person yes desiring another person… yes… but… needing them and those specific traits… no…

[si****]

Sunday at 08:59 PM, snacksb4smacks said:

You're not wrong. My man grounds me and helps me regulate my emotions. I do enjoy doing things myself. So he lets me. And when he steps in it's because I bit off more than I can chew. Then tells me it's ok, and that the job was harder than it should've been. Lol. And that I broke it because I turned it too hard the wrong way.
He just called me to see how I was doing because I was a wreck when he left for work. It's because he does those things that I know everything will infact be ok.
And yes, that all translates to the bed as well.
I may not NEED a man, but I need him. And he's my man.

Happy for you! The way to be. Complimentary (=partnership).

[si****]

Yesterday at 01:15 AM, GabsGabsinG said:

I think the issue is that boys are raised to have expectations of manliness that clash with the reality they find growing up. They are told they have to be strong, and not to cry or show emotions. They are raised with boy toys, which for some reason always seem to have angry expressions, and who are never toys expected to teach empathy: fierce warriors, cars, robots. They are taught that they have to protect women. And then they grow up and find that women don’t need them to protect them, that we distrust them as protectors, that the hardness they were raised to show doesn’t serve them as well as the empathy they were taught to bottle up would. And this dichotomy between what they’re told they should be and what society allows them to be makes things difficult for them. Is why so many of us are here: the power dynamics in life contrast those we were all raised to expect, and we come here to explore them. Some of us to return a semblance of power to men, some men to take it back, others to give it up even further. It’s why there’s such a return to bigotry and conservatism. Our generations of men were raised to fill a role there’s no more room for in modern society. So of course some ill adjusted men will become toxic, abusive, homicidal. And some women will feel guilty about having “taken” men’s power and return it by giving up their own in life, too, and take their place beneath a man. That’s not our place (unless we so choose in sex). Our place is next to a man, if near him, or very fucking far away if he hasn’t figured out the era of the caveman is past, and he needs to evolve to be a functioning member of society.

Bravo! Nicely said. My simplistic is of partnership. Hugs

[si****]

When growing up, I hated the "masculine " people ( women and men) were trying to tell me i should strive for.

I resented that I should be EVERYTHING ( physically strong, financial provider of necessities and dreams, caregiver, protector - physical, +, emotionally strong ( and never breaking), never showing i wanted nurturing too),
And society earmarks to send me to WAR.

That's not i what bargained for being born a male!

Even today I have to listen to sexist terms. CRINGE!

I think I fought a lot people's sexist comments and expectations when growing up

Reproduction needs male and female.

Otherwise, I've lived with and treated people with equity/equality and desire for partnership.

[ra****]

One who understands that a woman who isn’t afraid to initiate conversation when something is bothering her is often doing so to strengthen the connection, not start a petty argument.

Bonus points if he understands that the more he proactively and clearly communicates, the less a woman needs to think and can just STFU 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

[si****]

Yesterday at 11:12 AM, raleigh953174 said:

One who understands that a woman who isn’t afraid to initiate conversation when something is bothering her is often doing so to strengthen the connection, not start a petty argument.

Bonus points if he understands that the more he proactively and clearly communicates, the less a woman needs to think and can just STFU 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

I like that. The more little conversations we have makes it easier to talk about little changes we want. I like extended pillow talk.

I like women who is independent for the most part. ( we are all growing continually). A man who is a compliment to her offers balance and more growth together.

You mentioned something that made me think. I don't like being confronted. I close up - temporarily. Easier for me to open up in non confrontational atmosphere. Awareness makes up improve ourselves and add to the relationship.
Thanks for your input. HUGS

[Fu****]

Yesterday at 05:12 PM, raleigh953174 said:

One who understands that a woman who isn’t afraid to initiate conversation when something is bothering her is often doing so to strengthen the connection, not start a petty argument.

Bonus points if he understands that the more he proactively and clearly communicates, the less a woman needs to think and can just STFU 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

Couldn’t agree more!