What kind of man do you need?

[li****]

Cringe

[ra****]

12 hours ago, SerendipitousKeeper said:

I mean the first thing that comes to mind is:

A woman NEEDS a man…

Like a fish NEEDS a bicycle.

And for clarity when I say woman/man I actually mean any human needing another - but the quote fits in the context of the post.

Save for a few very small exceptions (think those that rely on others to actually keep them alive) nobody actually NEEDS another person.

Wanting

Desiring

Looking for

Enjoying

Yes, perhaps. But NEEDING another, no.

However, a person may NEED the person they are in a relationship with to have certain qualities/traits.

This post screams mansplaining to “women” what they need based on a view solely from one lens. I’d be interested in knowing who the “many women” are that believe strength means doing everything alone - is this research based or anecdotal? I’m also interested to understand what your definition is of the masculinity you state the world needs? 

I was just thinking about the word need as i read all of these and wanting another person yes desiring another person… yes… but… needing them and those specific traits… no…

[si****]

Sunday at 08:59 PM, snacksb4smacks said:

You're not wrong. My man grounds me and helps me regulate my emotions. I do enjoy doing things myself. So he lets me. And when he steps in it's because I bit off more than I can chew. Then tells me it's ok, and that the job was harder than it should've been. Lol. And that I broke it because I turned it too hard the wrong way.
He just called me to see how I was doing because I was a wreck when he left for work. It's because he does those things that I know everything will infact be ok.
And yes, that all translates to the bed as well.
I may not NEED a man, but I need him. And he's my man.

Happy for you! The way to be. Complimentary (=partnership).

[si****]

Yesterday at 01:15 AM, GabsGabsinG said:

I think the issue is that boys are raised to have expectations of manliness that clash with the reality they find growing up. They are told they have to be strong, and not to cry or show emotions. They are raised with boy toys, which for some reason always seem to have angry expressions, and who are never toys expected to teach empathy: fierce warriors, cars, robots. They are taught that they have to protect women. And then they grow up and find that women don’t need them to protect them, that we distrust them as protectors, that the hardness they were raised to show doesn’t serve them as well as the empathy they were taught to bottle up would. And this dichotomy between what they’re told they should be and what society allows them to be makes things difficult for them. Is why so many of us are here: the power dynamics in life contrast those we were all raised to expect, and we come here to explore them. Some of us to return a semblance of power to men, some men to take it back, others to give it up even further. It’s why there’s such a return to bigotry and conservatism. Our generations of men were raised to fill a role there’s no more room for in modern society. So of course some ill adjusted men will become toxic, abusive, homicidal. And some women will feel guilty about having “taken” men’s power and return it by giving up their own in life, too, and take their place beneath a man. That’s not our place (unless we so choose in sex). Our place is next to a man, if near him, or very fucking far away if he hasn’t figured out the era of the caveman is past, and he needs to evolve to be a functioning member of society.

Bravo! Nicely said. My simplistic is of partnership. Hugs

[si****]

When growing up, I hated the "masculine " people ( women and men) were trying to tell me i should strive for.

I resented that I should be EVERYTHING ( physically strong, financial provider of necessities and dreams, caregiver, protector - physical, +, emotionally strong ( and never breaking), never showing i wanted nurturing too),
And society earmarks to send me to WAR.

That's not i what bargained for being born a male!

Even today I have to listen to sexist terms. CRINGE!

I think I fought a lot people's sexist comments and expectations when growing up

Reproduction needs male and female.

Otherwise, I've lived with and treated people with equity/equality and desire for partnership.

[ra****]

One who understands that a woman who isn’t afraid to initiate conversation when something is bothering her is often doing so to strengthen the connection, not start a petty argument.

Bonus points if he understands that the more he proactively and clearly communicates, the less a woman needs to think and can just STFU 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

[si****]

Yesterday at 11:12 AM, raleigh953174 said:

One who understands that a woman who isn’t afraid to initiate conversation when something is bothering her is often doing so to strengthen the connection, not start a petty argument.

Bonus points if he understands that the more he proactively and clearly communicates, the less a woman needs to think and can just STFU 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

I like that. The more little conversations we have makes it easier to talk about little changes we want. I like extended pillow talk.

I like women who is independent for the most part. ( we are all growing continually). A man who is a compliment to her offers balance and more growth together.

You mentioned something that made me think. I don't like being confronted. I close up - temporarily. Easier for me to open up in non confrontational atmosphere. Awareness makes up improve ourselves and add to the relationship.
Thanks for your input. HUGS

[Fu****]

Yesterday at 05:12 PM, raleigh953174 said:

One who understands that a woman who isn’t afraid to initiate conversation when something is bothering her is often doing so to strengthen the connection, not start a petty argument.

Bonus points if he understands that the more he proactively and clearly communicates, the less a woman needs to think and can just STFU 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

Couldn’t agree more!

[Galactus82]

On 3/1/2026 at 10:14 PM, DYSY26 said:

What a gross take. Imagine a man telling any woman what it is that they need. This is exactly the problem, you don’t listen. You just reckon you already know and, clearly, that isn’t working out for a very large portion of you. Not only do women not need men any more, we don’t even want most of you. And it’s all your own fault

Hello, I'd like to properly debate this what you have wrote here without being nasty. I find it quite insulting for a woman to write women dont need men. Men have built this world you live in and this is the easiest in history for a woman. To remind you that women have it so much easier than men. You can have sex with no consequences by having the pill and abortions, but we can't have a say if we dont want ***. Women use the *** as weapons for either spite, *** etc. 95% of courts side with the mum.  You have pro rata in the work place. Nearly all hr in the work place is geared toward women. When in public women and call men misogynistic and narcissistic when they dont even know how severe those words mean. Can accuse men of *** and *** and mens lives are ruined when most of the time it's the woman who say worse things. Because women can't physically hurt most men they go down the road of deceive and try and ruin them socially and in work. Women can make *** so much easier than men and can get access to things. Even though they do it by wrecking their chances of being a good mother and wife in the future. And it's all our fault. Social media has ruined women. The self entitlement some women have these days is horrendous. Nobody deserves anything unless they work hard for it. Women can cheat in marriage and still end up taking half and the ***. And myself im a good strong man who leads by example in life for my son of whom I've brought up myself. Worked hard and by no means an angel myself. Im a strong minded and loving man that makes his partner feel loved, safe, special, secure, sexy as much as possible. Im a man's man who makes his partner feel properly feminine. And it's reciprocated the other way. Women dont even trust other women most of the time and how are men supposed to know what you want when women let their feelings and emotions rule decision making instead of facts and being practical. Thank you. X

[AKA_Copper]

6 hours ago, Galactus82 said:

Hello, I'd like to properly debate this what you have wrote here without being nasty. I find it quite insulting for a woman to write women dont need men. Men have built this world you live in and this is the easiest in history for a woman. To remind you that women have it so much easier than men. You can have sex with no consequences by having the pill and abortions, but we can't have a say if we dont want ***. Women use the *** as weapons for either spite, *** etc. 95% of courts side with the mum.  You have pro rata in the work place. Nearly all hr in the work place is geared toward women. When in public women and call men misogynistic and narcissistic when they dont even know how severe those words mean. Can accuse men of *** and *** and mens lives are ruined when most of the time it's the woman who say worse things. Because women can't physically hurt most men they go down the road of deceive and try and ruin them socially and in work. Women can make *** so much easier than men and can get access to things. Even though they do it by wrecking their chances of being a good mother and wife in the future. And it's all our fault. Social media has ruined women. The self entitlement some women have these days is horrendous. Nobody deserves anything unless they work hard for it. Women can cheat in marriage and still end up taking half and the ***. And myself im a good strong man who leads by example in life for my son of whom I've brought up myself. Worked hard and by no means an angel myself. Im a strong minded and loving man that makes his partner feel loved, safe, special, secure, sexy as much as possible. Im a man's man who makes his partner feel properly feminine. And it's reciprocated the other way. Women dont even trust other women most of the time and how are men supposed to know what you want when women let their feelings and emotions rule decision making instead of facts and being practical. Thank you. X

I’ll respond to this in the same 'respectful' spirit you asked for, by addressing the claims directly (maybe a little more educated/less biased)

1. “Men built the world
Women have it easiest now”
It’s true that historically men dominated many visible roles in infrastructure, politics, and industry. But that wasn’t because women were less capable, it was largely because women were excluded from education, property rights, voting, and professions for centuries.
At the same time, women contributed in less recognised but essential ways: raising families, unpaid labour, agriculture, healthcare, and community stability. Modern society is built by both men and women, just in different proportions depending on the era and opportunity.
Today, things are more balanced, not because women “have it easy,” but because barriers have been reduced by women.

2. “Women have no consequences for sex”
Inaccurate. Contraception and abortion reduce some risks, but they don’t remove consequences and they arent widely available to all:
Pregnancy affects women physically, emotionally and medically, more so for POC
Social stigma still exists in many places
Emotional and psychological impacts can be significant
Women still carry the majority of reproductive responsibility
Men and women simply face different risks, not zero vs. full consequences.

3. “Men have no say in parenthood”
You’re right that men don’t have the same level of control once pregnancy occurs.
However, the legal reasoning is based on bodily autonomy: pregnancy happens in a woman’s body, so the final decision legally rests there.

4. “Courts favour mothers” Why that bias existed (and sometimes still does)
The “Tender Years Doctrine” (historical foundation)
For a long time especially in the 19th and early 20th centuries courts followed something called the Tender Years Doctrine.
It assumed young *** were best cared for by their mothers
Fathers were seen primarily as financial providers, not caregivers
This created a strong default toward giving custody to mothers
Even though this doctrine has largely been replaced, its influence shaped legal culture for decades, and some of that thinking still lingers.
Traditional gender roles carried into courtrooms
For most of modern history, men worked fulltime outside the home
Women were primary caregivers
So when courts had to decide custody, they often asked:
“Who has been doing the day to day parenting?”
Because of those roles, the answer was usually the mother not necessarily because of bias in that moment, but because of how responsibilities had been divided before the separation.
Even today, this can still affect outcomes:
If one parent has been the main caregiver, courts often try to maintain that stability for the child
“Best interests of the child” can be subjective
Modern courts use a standard called “the best interests of the child.”
That sounds fair and it is in principle but in practice:
It gives judges a lot of discretion
Personal beliefs and cultural norms can influence decisions
Fathers were historically less likely to seek custody whuch is a key point that often gets overlooked.
In many cases:
Fathers did not pursue full or primary custody
Some assumed they wouldn’t win
Others prioritised financial provision over custody
So statistics showing more mothers with custody don’t always mean courts chose mothers over equally competing fathers sometimes only one parent was actively seeking it.
That said, when fathers do pursue custody, their success rates are often higher than people expect.
Courts consider:
Who can provide a stable home
Work schedules
Financial situation
Historically, men were more likely to work long hours
Women were more likely to have flexible or home based roles
That made mothers appear more “available,” which influenced custody decisions.
Family courts tend to be cautious because they’re dealing witha ch1ld’s welfare.
If there’s any uncertainty (even minor or unproven concerns), courts may lean toward:
The parent perceived as more “safe” or familiar and still thats often the primary caregiver, who is frequently the mother. It’s as simple as risk management.
Shared custody is increasingly the default
Fathers are more involved from early childhood
Courts are more aware of past biases
There’s been a shift toward:
Co-parenting arrangements
Equal parenting time where possible

5. “False accusations ruin men’s lives”
False accusations do happen yet, at the same time, most accusations are not proven false. Many cases of harassment/***/DA/SA go unreported primarily due to not being believed by priorities and other failings within the criminal justice arena. The percentage of proven false accusations is miniscule. Just because someone didn't get charged/convicted doesn't mean it was a false accusations, it means CPS didn't agree a charge because they didn't think it was in the publics interest to do so.

6. “Women manipulate socially because they can’t physically compete”
A generalisation than a fact. People regardless of gender use different forms of conflict: Some use physical aggression
Others use social or emotional tactics
These behaviours aren’t exclusive to men/women. Men also engage in reputation damage, workplace politics, and social manipulation.

7. “Women have advantages in work and HR”
There has been a push to correct past inequalities (e.g., hiring bias, pay gaps, workplace harassment). However, men still dominate many high-paying and leadership roles even in sectors heavily dominated by women such as the health and social care sector.
Workplace policies are designed to reduce legal risk, not favour one gender personally
It’s less about “favouring women” and more about trying to create fairness/protect the organisation either financially or their reputation.

8. “Social media has made women entitled”
Social media amplifies extreme behaviour on both sides. You’ll see entitled attitudes from some women, toxic or hostile attitudes from some men, the manosphere isnt a made up word.
But that’s not representative of most people. Algorithms reward outrage, not reality.

9. “Women cheat and still benefit in divorce”
Divorce outcomes usually depend on:
Assets acquired during marriage, child custody arrangements, financial dependency
Infidelity can matter legally in some places, but often the system focuses on financial fairness rather than moral judgment.
Men can and do receive fair settlements too especially when they are primary caregivers or earn less.

10. “Women are too emotional; men are more practical”
A stereotype, but research shows both men and women are emotional
They just express and process emotions differently. Men need to be emotionally intelligent. Good decision-making actually requires both emotion and logic. Too much of either alone can lead to poor outcomes.

11. Your personal point
You describe yourself as a responsible, involved father and partner. That matters a lot. Many people, men and women, are looking for exactly that kind of stability and mutual respect.
But it’s important not to project negative experiences or online narratives onto all women. Just like it wouldn’t be fair for women to assume all men are harmful or irresponsible.

[Ar****]

6 hours ago, Galactus82 said:

Hello, I'd like to properly debate this what you have wrote here without being nasty. I find it quite insulting for a woman to write women dont need men. Men have built this world you live in and this is the easiest in history for a woman. To remind you that women have it so much easier than men. You can have sex with no consequences by having the pill and abortions, but we can't have a say if we dont want ***. Women use the *** as weapons for either spite, *** etc. 95% of courts side with the mum.  You have pro rata in the work place. Nearly all hr in the work place is geared toward women. When in public women and call men misogynistic and narcissistic when they dont even know how severe those words mean. Can accuse men of *** and *** and mens lives are ruined when most of the time it's the woman who say worse things. Because women can't physically hurt most men they go down the road of deceive and try and ruin them socially and in work. Women can make *** so much easier than men and can get access to things. Even though they do it by wrecking their chances of being a good mother and wife in the future. And it's all our fault. Social media has ruined women. The self entitlement some women have these days is horrendous. Nobody deserves anything unless they work hard for it. Women can cheat in marriage and still end up taking half and the ***. And myself im a good strong man who leads by example in life for my son of whom I've brought up myself. Worked hard and by no means an angel myself. Im a strong minded and loving man that makes his partner feel loved, safe, special, secure, sexy as much as possible. Im a man's man who makes his partner feel properly feminine. And it's reciprocated the other way. Women dont even trust other women most of the time and how are men supposed to know what you want when women let their feelings and emotions rule decision making instead of facts and being practical. Thank you. X

Prefacing an attack on women - where you generalise, gaslight, minimise, make facts up, tell us women are untrusting/overfeeling/impractical/spiteful, and sweepingly deride them while simultaneously failing to hold (some) men accountable for their failings and flaws - by saying you want to debate without being nasty, is still an attack on a lot of women who do not deserve your ire. That makes it nasty by default, however politely you phrase yourself.

[Ta****]

14 minutes ago, Aranhis said:

Prefacing an attack on women - where you generalise, gaslight, minimise, make facts up, tell us women are untrusting/overfeeling/impractical/spiteful, and sweepingly deride them while simultaneously failing to hold (some) men accountable for their failings and flaws - by saying you want to debate without being nasty, is still an attack on a lot of women who do not deserve your ire. That makes it nasty by default, however politely you phrase yourself.

I don't think arguing with a red-piller who is all "woe is me as I'm a poor male", whimpering about a society which rules formed by men for many, many centuries, still governed by mostly men still...leads to anything useful. Like all conspiracy theories it's a belief, with tiny little truths here and there, but mostly made-up "evidence" and circular logic. Minimizing the amount of sexual *** and harassment against women while being alarmed about the few shitty women who do make up claims.
Because they don't care about us suffering as they don't see us as humans. They vilify us.

[Ar****]

1 hour ago, TaliX said:

I don't think arguing with a red-piller who is all "woe is me as I'm a poor male", whimpering about a society which rules formed by men for many, many centuries, still governed by mostly men still...leads to anything useful. Like all conspiracy theories it's a belief, with tiny little truths here and there, but mostly made-up "evidence" and circular logic. Minimizing the amount of sexual *** and harassment against women while being alarmed about the few shitty women who do make up claims.
Because they don't care about us suffering as they don't see us as humans. They vilify us.

I know. But I think they also rely, to some degree or other, on not being called out and challenged by other men. If my comment gets even just one or two to reconsider their mindset, I believe it's worth it.

[AKA_Copper]

4 minutes ago, Aranhis said:

I know. But I think they also rely, to some degree or other, on not being called out and challenged by other men. If my comment gets even just one or two to reconsider their mindset, I believe it's worth it.

I appreciate your response, youre right men do need to call out other men

[ey****]

3 hours ago, AKA_Copper said:

I’ll respond to this in the same 'respectful' spirit you asked for, by addressing the claims directly (maybe a little more educated/less biased)

I really don't feel I've much to add to it.   I'm also not sure what his regurgitated BS even had to do with the spirit of the thread, but hey ho  

[Ta****]

2 hours ago, Aranhis said:

I know. But I think they also rely, to some degree or other, on not being called out and challenged by other men. If my comment gets even just one or two to reconsider their mindset, I believe it's worth it.

I agree. Though the sad part is, if they listen at all it's to fellow men, as women are those devious sub-humans to them.

[ey****]

Mind, I also get that a lot of the purpose isn't so much to try to change the mind of someone who isn't willing to listen 

But for info for those still discovering.

There is an awful lot of dishonesty in the redpill bullshit - and it ultimately leads men to grow up resentful, bitter, and alone.  And not alone in a... yeah I'm happy being single... kinda way.  But alone in a not... 

[Ti****]

I don't think women believe it's weak to need a man. Women have more choices in life than we did even 30 years ago. It's toxic masculinity and those who believe that women should need a man that are weak in my opinion.

[Ti****]

March 6, FunSin said:

Couldn’t agree more!

Definitely. I value communication but I've come across so many who don't and some who have made me feel wrong for communicating my needs and wanting him to see them as valid. If my needs aren't being met then I can't just let go and stfu as you put it!

[Ti****]

11 hours ago, Galactus82 said:

Hello, I'd like to properly debate this what you have wrote here without being nasty. I find it quite insulting for a woman to write women dont need men. Men have built this world you live in and this is the easiest in history for a woman. To remind you that women have it so much easier than men. You can have sex with no consequences by having the pill and abortions, but we can't have a say if we dont want ***. Women use the *** as weapons for either spite, *** etc. 95% of courts side with the mum.  You have pro rata in the work place. Nearly all hr in the work place is geared toward women. When in public women and call men misogynistic and narcissistic when they dont even know how severe those words mean. Can accuse men of *** and *** and mens lives are ruined when most of the time it's the woman who say worse things. Because women can't physically hurt most men they go down the road of deceive and try and ruin them socially and in work. Women can make *** so much easier than men and can get access to things. Even though they do it by wrecking their chances of being a good mother and wife in the future. And it's all our fault. Social media has ruined women. The self entitlement some women have these days is horrendous. Nobody deserves anything unless they work hard for it. Women can cheat in marriage and still end up taking half and the ***. And myself im a good strong man who leads by example in life for my son of whom I've brought up myself. Worked hard and by no means an angel myself. Im a strong minded and loving man that makes his partner feel loved, safe, special, secure, sexy as much as possible. Im a man's man who makes his partner feel properly feminine. And it's reciprocated the other way. Women dont even trust other women most of the time and how are men supposed to know what you want when women let their feelings and emotions rule decision making instead of facts and being practical. Thank you. X

Men have not built the world we live in. Many women, when they have fought for the right to, have contributed so much. It is men, however, who built a men centred society that women have fought to be treated as valid and equals.

[Ti****]

3 hours ago, TaliX said:

I don't think arguing with a red-piller who is all "woe is me as I'm a poor male", whimpering about a society which rules formed by men for many, many centuries, still governed by mostly men still...leads to anything useful. Like all conspiracy theories it's a belief, with tiny little truths here and there, but mostly made-up "evidence" and circular logic. Minimizing the amount of sexual *** and harassment against women while being alarmed about the few shitty women who do make up claims.
Because they don't care about us suffering as they don't see us as humans. They vilify us.

Agree

[Ti****]

2 hours ago, Aranhis said:

I know. But I think they also rely, to some degree or other, on not being called out and challenged by other men. If my comment gets even just one or two to reconsider their mindset, I believe it's worth it.

This! Too many men stay quiet, don't call out this BS

[ey****]

4 hours ago, AKA_Copper said:

It’s true that historically men dominated many visible roles in infrastructure, politics, and industry. But that wasn’t because women were less capable, it was largely because women were excluded from education, property rights, voting, and professions for centuries.

In addition

there is also a lot of cases where it's known, or suspected, that a lot of women's roles were often deliberately excluded or downplayed

[AKA_Copper]

1 hour ago, eyemblacksheep said:

I really don't feel I've much to add to it.   I'm also not sure what his regurgitated BS even had to do with the spirit of the thread, but hey ho  

I could have added so much more but unfortunately had to go to work 🤣
Google is always available for anyone to actually fact check what they're spouting 🙄

[Ta****]

What's differentiating me from all those redpillers and the femcel they want to see me as - I see men, women and all variations in between all as people. And I need people, as we almost all do. But I don't need them of any specific sex as I don't think gender is was defines any of us really that much.
I need to have friends. A family of some sorts, not necessarily by ***. Community and sharing connection. Sex is nothing I owe anyone or anyone owes me, I can scratch that itch by myself, if I don't find a partner that suits me.
So fuck no to the EP, I don't need a man, especially none who dares to assume he could guide/teach/mentor/"balance" me as if I were a permenantly infantile idiot. I need humans. But sometimes a pet will do, especially as those don't prescribe to redpill or other sexist bullshit.