A New Experience??

[al****]

This is NOT a kinky ad. This is just a post about my thoughts lately. I had a talk with my Master lately and He would really like me to expand my experiences. To try something new. I am not at all attracted to women so have never been bi-curious. Actually the thought of a woman touching me even somewhat platonically makes me uncomfortable. But Master thinks it would be good for me to get over my anxiety. I have separation anxiety when it comes to our dynamic and his hands are quite full with work, family and other personal things. He will not share me with another man but he is willing to allow me a physical female friend if I need some affection and physical intimacy. My main problem is like I said above. I’ve never been sexually attracted to women. I really don’t even know what two women would do other than kissing, hugging and petting. I’ve never watched girl on girl p@rn because it’s weird and boring looking. But I also know I’m suffering from lack of attention and affection. Master tries his best but he is only one person and can only be stretched so thin.
He has so many rules for the eventuality of me being with anyone else. I can go into that later. This post is already long. I just know I’m confused and don’t know what to do. I love Master so will never leave Him so what other option do I have other than this new one He has provided?

[go****]

I’m curious about the rules you mentioned towards the end, can you please elaborate?

[Gi****]

I don’t think you should sleep with women if you are not comfortable just because he won’t share you with men. Don’t let these men *** you to do something you’re not comfortable with. Try and ask for a keepsake from him like an audio recording or a favorite toy he uses on you. But never do something for others out of their wants.

[No****]

This doesn’t sound right at all. It really worries me. You don’t sound happy at all. This isn’t a solution to your problems.

[al****]

8 minutes ago, Girl6Knicks said:

I don’t think you should sleep with women if you are not comfortable just because he won’t share you with men. Don’t let these men *** you to do something you’re not comfortable with. Try and ask for a keepsake from him like an audio recording or a favorite toy he uses on you. But never do something for others out of their wants.

I do have a memento. He bought me a Teddy bear that we dressed to resemble him. I do have that and he dies take care to call me each night to tuck me in. Thank you for taking the time to comment

[Du****]

Is he actually pushing you to be with another woman or is that just the boundary that he's set? I would say it's within his limits to not want to share you with another man, but it's not really his place to say you should do something you're not comfortable with.

[al****]

does^

[Gi****]

4 minutes ago, aligurl80 said:

I do have a memento. He bought me a Teddy bear that we dressed to resemble him. I do have that and he dies take care to call me each night to tuck me in. Thank you for taking the time to comment

No problem! I think it’s also important to practice having time to yourself. Little things likes just stepping outside for a sun soak or writing out your feelings of the day. Aside from your dynamic, it’s really important to have other things that don’t revolve around this man.

[Du****]

1 minute ago, aligurl80 said:

does^

Does? Does what?

[Du****]

Nvm, just saw what you were referencing

[al****]

4 minutes ago, DucatiDaddy said:

Is he actually pushing you to be with another woman or is that just the boundary that he's set? I would say it's within his limits to not want to share you with another man, but it's not really his place to say you should do something you're not comfortable with.

Our relationship may be a bit different than some would agree with. I am slave and since I’m the one that asked to be slave and agreed to give up all limits, I feel that if he asks me to try something new that I should take his wants into consideration

[al****]

2 minutes ago, DucatiDaddy said:

Does? Does what?

Sorry that was for the post above Yours. I was trying to fix a typo of mine

[ne****]

Renegotiating terms, limits and conditions is always ok. From what I read it seems like his wish not yours, being funneled through inadequate leadership, aftercare and time management. Also, I’ve out grown doms because the dynamic no longer fit my needs. Whatever the case, glad you were able to share about it and best wishes on a positive outcome.

[xx****]

You can always set limits. Slave or not. Maybe you think thats going against your agreed upon dynamic. But the dynamic already isnt working if one or both of you is not satisfied.

And do not have sex with anyone you dont want to have sex with. And certainly not because someone else tells you to. Thats not dom/sub thats coercive control.

[al****]

46 minutes ago, QweenxLee said:

I’m curious about the rules you mentioned towards the end, can you please elaborate?

1.That he would approve of the person before we met

2. That they must realize that he is my owner and respect that

3a. That they can’t be part of a couple or if they are I would not be a 3rd. No other men.

3b. If they have a male partner they aren’t allowed to observe.

4. If they would happen to be Domme, they would agree with His rules and not try to override them.

[Ha****]

It is one thing to direct someone to do something they do not care for if I like it. However, this feels different.

If a command or restriction is something which affects you the way this does, but he was going to be there and get something from it, that does sound like slave material.

The way you describe it, feels like a different concern, possibly *** or at least anxiety based.

I only know my own experiences, everything else is like a game of telephone.

“He says I can only have yellow toys” turns into “he says I have to fuck giraffes” by the time it comes back around.

I expect complete submission, like yours, unquestioning. Very impressive in your part.

Unquestioning if my personal enjoyment is involved. Frankly, your opinion has little or no value or even importance, if the directed activity pleases me.

If, I am not participating, and I am stretched very thin for time, leaving you feeling not just hungry, but neglected (although it seems I can usually find time for what I want to do), then it starts to smell like other concerns.

I do not want a hostage (unless we are engaged in CNC play). In fact, my biggest turn off is someone who doesn’t get off on what I have to give. I am comfortable in my skills and what I have to offer. If a sub gets something they like more somewhere else, I may just be out of luck.

I can step it up or set them free. However, if I am not giving my sub what she craves, it’s going to eventually cause a resentment. Resentments fester and grow and possibly get very ugly.

THESE ARE CONSENSUAL ACTIVITIES!
If, as happens, the individuals grow apart, I can’t *** a sub to stay who doesn’t want to be there, that exceeds my rights.

[de****]

He sounds insecure in his position as a Dom. While there are a set of rules it is not in your best interest to do something you do. It feel comfortable with.

[pi****]

What about a trans woman?

[Gn****]

He does sound insecure. If he wants you to try something new, why not dominate him? Why doesn’t he try something new instead of putting the onus on you? Reminds me of middle school when all I wanted was a 3 some lol

[al****]

Thank You everyone for “listening” and lending your advice. I appreciate it.

[Gi****]

I may take a different point of view. If I read between the lines, although you say you’ve never been attracted to women, the fact you brought it up sounds like you’re seeking validation - like it’s publicly ok. Second, the length of your question tells me you’ve thought a lot about it.

I think another woman who maybe comes to tooling more tomboy with a strap on could get you out of your shell.

[Gi****]

*comes to you looking more tomboy with a strap on could get you out of your shell and over any social anxiety

[ey****]

it seems you're not happy with what he is requesting

you can/should tell him no.

[br****]

You could try making more platonic female friends. This honestly seems like a very codependent and controlling dynamic. If you don’t get what you need from the dynamic you should have a conversation outside of it, and reevaluate your expectations and role in one another’s life. However, you should also make sure your expectations are rooted in reality, and potentially seek therapy with what you mentioned about having issues being touched platonically. Please do not get into a relationship with another woman just because you are lonely, that’s extremely toxic and would be harmful for both parties. You should also ask him why he has an issue sharing you with another man but not with women, it comes off very sexist, misogynistic and that he doesn’t see lesbian relationships as real or valid, which is unfortunately common in men with the expansion of the porn industry and the mainstreaming of kink communities. Wishing you the best with finding your solution!

[DD0001]

Does treating separation anxiety by replacing the object of separation really work longer term?
All you are really doing is finding an alternative person to spend time with, which doesnt solve the actual issue. It is treating the symptom, not the cause.
I would suggest that you look into ways to calm yourself when he isnt with you, or ways to occupy your mind.
Consider trying to understand the root cause of your separation anxiety. Is it because yoh got lost as a child? Or did one of your parents leave you? Etc etc.
Have you tried CBT? Or trying shorter separation times which gradually grow longer? Separation anxiety could be due to loneliness or it can also be due to a *** of being left alone or even of being discarded. But short separation periods that helps you get used to it and know that you havent been abandoned may help. It all depends on the cause of this separation anxiety.