Sexual urges

[DY****]

After divorcing (19 yrs), my libido was so high and even more so as I learned about kink. It’s been over 4 years now and I realised it’s been a while since I’ve noticed myself having any sexual urges at all.

About 6 months ago, it clicked that I’m unfortunately more attracted to men than women. Experience has shown me that men aren’t good and, despite others telling me there are “good” men that exist, I have never seen any evidence of this. I think my sex life is over! Reaching orgasm on my own has always been difficult to a point where I often give up with frustration.

Has anyone been in a similar place and come out the other side or is working on acceptance a better use of my time?

[Gi****]

Congrats on your divorce! Use this time for exploration and building that confidence to pleasure yourself. Your sex life is not over you just have to pivot and what better way then to do it with yourself. Also orgasm doesn’t always need to be the goal. Just getting to know your body through touch is a great way to get comfortable with your relationship to sex. Take your time and explore. Wishing you the best!

[Bl****]

There are good, respectful men of course. Unfortunately you haven’t been lucky enough to meet one yet. When you do, he will re-ignite your desire and libido. A healthy online interaction will help too. Be open and don’t give up.

[ne****]

Congrats on the divorce! I agree with what Girl6Knicks said. I’d add to encourage incorporating toys into your play. The Lem is darn good and Lovense has some terrific stuff. There’s a lot out there. Explore and experiment. I am almost done with my divorce (33 years) and my libido is super high! I understand your concerns. Good men are difficult to find. But there are some who have done the emotional work and don’t make their ego their personality. Concentrate on yourself. Your next partner will pop up when you least expect it. Keep going!

[00****]

I got for hours at a time

[pu****]

Hunks are rare. A good hunk; Who knows?

[00****]

Do t look now,but uhmm

[No****]

Hey 👋 same same ! I had good sex once. And these men are ugh not attractive not masculine. I havent had sex in three cause i tried and it was god awful’

[00****]

Ladies you they are some men like myself treat sex more of a work of art than just s***dy rabbit worried about no one but himself. To see a partner totally enjoy themselves with a word said nor *** of judgements. Just her body reacting to the very touch ,texture, firm grip, the arch of her back, guys do t pay attention, most want to get theirs and say oh my bad. Im different I enjoy it but I take with it

[sa****]

Another one that just hasn’t been satiated. I definitely don’t have any desire to satisfy myself. My toys haven’t been charged in almost 2 years.
And I agree with the post about men not being attractive, masculine there’s a handful of other things as well.

[Un****]

Mmm, I think it really depends on what your sex life has been like. If it’s always followed the same pattern, then in the end physical attraction matters very little if everything feels the same. Sometimes it’s not that desire disappears, it’s that you need something different.
Exploring new things, situations that give you excitement, even a bit of adrenaline… things you may have never considered before. I say this because even being young, you can get bored when everything becomes predictable.

[ma****]

I've been (and still am) in the same place as you. I wish I could just find a guy i can trust and love and settle down, but I've been shown time and time again that that's not going to work. i wish i had better advice, but I think all i can say is trust your gut. instincts aren't always right, but they exist for a reason. i hope you find someone you trust enough to let in. you're so, so fucking strong.

[Th****]

Sometimes hormonal changes and / or grief can temper with the libido .

Congrats on your divorce: now is the time to find out who you are, what you like and respond to without being someone else‘s canvas. Try new stuff, be open, cultivate that relationship to your self.

„No good men out there,“ becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. If you believe in love, are open and do your inner work, it will find you, sometimes unexpectedly, Sounds cheesy but it is true

[Sh****]

Congratulations on your divorce

[ey****]

I feel if you can be acceptant of yourself / your situation that is a good start.

There are good men, but ultimately if you do wish to get into another relationship, sexual intimacy, etc etc. then being 'good' isn't the only charecteristic they need, they also have to be the right person for you / what you're looking for.  The biggest sign someone is wrong for you is that they'll argue how they are a good man etc.

Congrats on the divorce, and I hope you kinda can come to a situation whereby you're happy either way