Dominating tips?

[Lu****]

So I consider myself a switch I love the idea of being both submissive and dominant but I *** I don’t have much experience any tips for beginner doms? 😔

[Bl****]

Make your sub ask you for what they want. This is a unisex tip. Making them ask is not only a good way to en*** submission, it leaves no gray area in terms of desire or consent. Hope this helps 😊

[Deleted Member]

I don't have much experience either

[Deleted Member]

Start slow and make sure you build trust before each step. I would also suddenly a write agreement of submission with the hard limits and there punishment for disobedience clearly out lined

[Bl****]

5 minutes ago, mrpasif said:

I don't have much experience either

I have never subbed, so I can't offer personal experience, but as a Dom: Clearly communicate what you like, and what you want. It makes it much, much easier to give it to you, if you tell us. Same advice from the other side I suppose. COMMUNICATE 😂

[Deleted Member]

1 minute ago, BlondBlueDom said:

I have never subbed, so I can't offer personal experience, but as a Dom: Clearly communicate what you like, and what you want. It makes it much, much easier to give it to you, if you tell us. Same advice from the other side I suppose. COMMUNICATE 😂

Communication is the only way a dom and sub dynamic can truly work without a doubt and for me I find having structure when I dom helps me stay in the lines

[Bl****]

5 minutes ago, coolperson12354 said:

Communication is the only way a dom and sub dynamic can truly work without a doubt and for me I find having structure when I dom helps me stay in the lines

I love this idea, but to me it feels a little too legalistic. If it works for you and your subs, that's awesome. I prefer a more intimate experience though. Listening to and playing with a sub is, for me, like playing an instrument. Idk if that makes sense

[Deleted Member]

5 minutes ago, BlondBlueDom said:

I love this idea, but to me it feels a little too legalistic. If it works for you and your subs, that's awesome. I prefer a more intimate experience though. Listening to and playing with a sub is, for me, like playing an instrument. Idk if that makes sense

Make perfect sense and everyone develops there own style i choose my to keep me from crossing the line

[Bl****]

2 minutes ago, coolperson12354 said:

Make perfect sense and everyone develops there own style i choose my to keep me from crossing the line

Kink is an art. From Shibari and Domination to the crazier stuff like branding. There is style, form, and a personal touch. I love making art

[Bi****]

you have to find a DOM that likes to give pleasure I mean more men we all like to receive a lot of men just selfish but First talk about your likes and dislikes. Get to know someone cause if the energy is right when you’re in the bedroom it’s even better understanding each other’s likes and dislikes. It’s just hard to find men that know how to do anything besides work with their muscle muscles lol

[xx****]

Learn how to use your equipment. Restraints can be fiddly so practice putting them on and taking them off smoothly. Part of being a dom is being in control. You dont want a scene to grind to a halt because you cant undo a strap or you dont know which way to turn the handcuff key 😄

[Bl****]

9 minutes ago, xxControlxx said:

Learn how to use your equipment. Restraints can be fiddly so practice putting them on and taking them off smoothly. Part of being a dom is being in control. You dont want a scene to grind to a halt because you cant undo a strap or you dont know which way to turn the handcuff key 😄

Damn good point! I never considered looking at a session like a stage performance, but you're absolutely right. Prop/equipment failure can completely derail the experience

[ey****]

firstly, consider what being Dominant looks like *for you*

is this for play only? or part of a dynamic (what happens if you then want to switch)?

things to learn to do safely depends on what you even want to do in the first place.   

A lot of suggestions above are in what they would want from a Domme - when the question really is, what does being Dominant look like to you? Cos if you can work out those steps it can then help you develop what you want to learn/experience 

[He****]

As someone who has been studying to be a Dom for a few days, I have learned that Having Empathy, Clear communication about your boundaries and expectations are great. Make sure you provide safety in ALL aspects such as Physical, Mental, Emotional, Spiritually (please note when providing spiritual safety, it is important for your to sub know that it is not a requirement that they have to stop their beliefs or betray their beliefs in word or deed as you're just concerned for their safety for their practices and want to make sure that you're providing a safe space for those beliefs and practices.). It is also important to provide relational safety making sure Yours and your Subs boundaries are being met and expectations are being met.

[ns****]

Be strong enough to be gentle~

[He****]

24 minutes ago, HexMoser said:

As someone who has been studying to be a Dom for a few days, I have learned that Having Empathy, Clear communication about your boundaries and expectations are great. Make sure you provide safety in ALL aspects such as Physical, Mental, Emotional, Spiritually (please note when providing spiritual safety, it is important for your to sub know that it is not a requirement that they have to stop their beliefs or betray their beliefs in word or deed as you're just concerned for their safety for their practices and want to make sure that you're providing a safe space for those beliefs and practices.). It is also important to provide relational safety making sure Yours and your Subs boundaries are being met and expectations are being met.

I also want to add to my comment and say that being confident is very important as well!!

[Bl****]

3 hours ago, nsmatthew115 said:

Be strong enough to be gentle~

Well said

[Za****]

Make sure you begin with someone you absolutely trust and that it's reciprocated. Communicate clearly and make sure to follow the rules that you both agreed on, and remember something you're really proud of right before you begin and channel the confidence of that memory if you're nervous, then have fun, because once you're enjoying the experience all that you can do is ride the dominance, control, and aura once it starts flowing

[Juggarnaut11]

Yes, find your style. It’ll make everything easier.

[ti****]

Remember it’s a give and take… they give up control to be possessed. It is you DUTY to take what is given to you and GUARD it as your own. Their mind, heart, body, and soul. And for the love of god.. aftercare hold them together until they are whole again. Have fun!

[an****]

Wednesday at 06:27 AM, eyemblacksheep said:

firstly, consider what being Dominant looks like *for you*

is this for play only? or part of a dynamic (what happens if you then want to switch)?

things to learn to do safely depends on what you even want to do in the first place.   

A lot of suggestions above are in what they would want from a Domme - when the question really is, what does being Dominant look like to you? Cos if you can work out those steps it can then help you develop what you want to learn/experience 

This right here is a perfect starting point. You may be a switch but also may still want a full dom in the beginning as you fully learn you limits as a dom. And the reason I say that. If you enter a scene as a dom but, forget what to do, have a little bit of anxiety, start to become unsure, that can send you into subspace. I would imagine most doms would happily play some of the role to help support and grow a community member, it is like the whole point of community 🙂 Something else that I have found useful for beginners both sub and dom is a script for the scene and make the first time super boring, you don't have to be an expert first go. Learn the "alphabet", then "read", then expand, and after a lot of education and training and effort, your skills will bloom. Have fun and enjoy the journey.