Masochistic mayhem

[DirtyDaddyx]

Hi fellow kinksters. 
 

These questions are targeted at masochists but anyone is invited to comment or further the discussion. 

How does the location of p@in on your body, the type of p@in and how the p@in is delivered affect your experience? 
 

Do you crave for specific p@in or general? 

If you have specific preferences how do you get a new sadistic partner on board with that ? And similarly if your new sadistic partner has new ideas, how is best to go about introducing these? 
 

Ddx

[W1****]

Very specific. I am not into whips, paddles or spanking. I like pinching, biting, hair pulling and mild estim. More intense *** in less sensitive areas. Or less prolonged if it is more intense.

As far as new experiences, let them try it on themselves (if they consent to the type of ***). Then test a mild degree of *** on the area you would like to inflict ***( again with consent). If you interact with a partner often enough you may learn what is always ok, and what is off limits.

Also consent is not permanent. Asked where and which implements are ok before each session.

These are my 2 cents. Definitely ask your partners these questions every time. People change, maybe become open to new experiences or grow a dislike of old.

[ts****]

I’m a pleasure Dom but if my submissive gets pleasure from *** - I’m going to do my best to please them in that way. Communication as to what they “need”, taking it slow so that you understand what the submissive can take while paying attention to their reactions are - you should be able to ascertain what they are enjoying / getting off on vs. suffering with. Communication is always key!

[sardonicus87]

I have no response on the question (sadist here), I just want to comment to say that these kind of questions are a great example of the kind of communication people should be having with prospective play partners.

Whenever I have—and will continue to say—that communication is key, this is a big part of what I mean.

Might seem tedious, but it needs doing.

[Su****]

I agree communication and consent for each play session are essential. I am a *** queen and I rarely want less *** but sometimes I do. I make sure my needs are known and I check my play partners needs. It's essential

[ma****]

I'm a sub, but with sex overall needs communication. I had an ex who had a trauma related to the testicles as a child and did not want them touched. For me, I hate being smacked on my lady parts.

[Sk****]

I like the idea of pausing the power dynamics momentarily while having the adult conversations about planning or reviewing activities. All parties should turn off 'horny mode' of thinking. Bring up ideas, discuss desires and concerns. Research safety together and separate. For example, if sub wants hot wax and dom is willing...know what types of wax are safe. Take fire safety precaution. Dont get wax in the carpet. Etc. That out of the way, you can safely experiment. Then review. 'Did this meet/exceed/fall short of expectations'? 'Is this worth trying again, how can it be improved'? You can fine tune and iterate as many times as you want until its perfect, good enough, or you want to replace the activity with something entirely different.

Its not even specific to ***. The same process applies to every kink. A degredee may discover new words they want to be called, others may have been used that degredee wants added to limits. You just talk about it.

Im a big fan of structure. In an ideal dynamic, i think these talks should have a designated weekly time and place. Parties can prepare and bring some ideas. Im also super German and realize that may be too formal and inorganic for some. Either way, you just talk about it.

[DirtyDaddyx]

27 minutes ago, SkipperVa said:

I like the idea of pausing the power dynamics momentarily while having the adult conversations about planning or reviewing activities. All parties should turn off 'horny mode' of thinking. Bring up ideas, discuss desires and concerns. Research safety together and separate. For example, if sub wants hot wax and dom is willing...know what types of wax are safe. Take fire safety precaution. Dont get wax in the carpet. Etc. That out of the way, you can safely experiment. Then review. 'Did this meet/exceed/fall short of expectations'? 'Is this worth trying again, how can it be improved'? You can fine tune and iterate as many times as you want until its perfect, good enough, or you want to replace the activity with something entirely different.

Its not even specific to ***. The same process applies to every kink. A degredee may discover new words they want to be called, others may have been used that degredee wants added to limits. You just talk about it.

Im a big fan of structure. In an ideal dynamic, i think these talks should have a designated weekly time and place. Parties can prepare and bring some ideas. Im also super German and realize that may be too formal and inorganic for some. Either way, you just talk about it.

Communication is definitely key. I fully appreciate that. But it’s how to communicate in different ways.

The idea of pausing is fab.
But it’s not for all.
Are there other ways of communicating these things ? Specially when you’re with a new partner without making it seem like a pact or agreement ?

[De****]

I don’t know about anybody else, but I’m not real big on the ***. I do like certain things like when I’m given a hand job I want to be squeezed as hard as possible. I find it exceptionally erotic. I noticed that as well with having multiple sessions in a weekend and I do mean multiple in the 20 or 30 range. I find that it gets quite sore from use, but the *** goes away as soon as I start again. As forgiving *** to people I’ve never really done that but it’s always something I’d like to try. Happy kinking.

[DirtyDaddyx]

42 minutes ago, DenoStyles said:

I don’t know about anybody else, but I’m not real big on the ***. I do like certain things like when I’m given a hand job I want to be squeezed as hard as possible. I find it exceptionally erotic. I noticed that as well with having multiple sessions in a weekend and I do mean multiple in the 20 or 30 range. I find that it gets quite sore from use, but the *** goes away as soon as I start again. As forgiving *** to people I’ve never really done that but it’s always something I’d like to try. Happy kinking.

Wow. That’s quite a lot ! 
But good thing receive your input. 
specific *** versus general *** is noted. 
If you were talking to a new partner would you introduce that into early conversation , when you first meet or later when you know each other better? 

[Sk****]

If you mean for more basic communication in the heat of the moment?

Frame it as the 'dirty little secret' you "know" they are hiding from you. Build some tension before you phorce the admission out of them, ideally when they are near climax. (say it. SAY IT!)

This way they arent giving orders or making a boring request, its a guilty confession of their personal naughty taboo. Degrade them (if theyre into that) for daring to like it while then also administering it. Subs typically enjoy this in my experience.

Forgive me if im not understanding the question, lol. Above can work, but theres a reason people stress discussing beforehand. The communication friction is why kink is difficult or clumsy in a ONS or new situation. Trust and communication take time. Long time LTR kinksters enjoy it more because they can put in the work, then get a lot more juice for the squeeze.

If you're flying blind through the clouds, with no instruments...expect turbulence at best. Worst case you fly straight into the side of a mountain.

You can do both. Discuss the plan beforehand. Make them confess anyways. A good sub will cooperate and understand 'suspension of disbelief' and enjoy it more because it went how they wanted.

[DirtyDaddyx]

Thanks - great response ! 

[DirtyDaddyx]

More replies please … 🙏

[DirtyDaddyx]

Come on *** givers, spammers, paddlers and all ! More replies please.

What about different methods of giving *** - electro? Brushes with firm bristles? Needles?
In particular - anything novel !!?