Trying to move forward with my brat and make things actually official how do I go about doing so?

[Da****]

So I'm currently 27 finna be 28:in a few days I'm the dom/daddy in our relationship she's 46.

We have been talking for almost a year now we've had some rough patches lately just due to the fact I caught her talking to her ex but she's explained to me she loves the *** of being caught when we started dating.

I have tried everything possible to make things official between me and my brat but for some reason it's kind of back and forth one min she says I'm not your girl then she says I am your girl one min I'm an asshole manipulator then she's all over me again.

The only issue with our dynamic is One: she's still married trying to go through divorce but the asshole keeps relocating then she said since he keeps relocating Two: she had a boyfriend before me for awhile and said she's just waiting on him to get his belongings so she can move on and me and her can be happy together finally and make things official I've tried offer to pay for her divorce but she declined and said this is her marriage and she needs to handle it while I respected that boundary.

Then I brought up the ex boyfriend about his belongings and gave her a shared though and was like have you thought about giving him a clear deadline to come get his belongings respectfully or even just dropping his belongings off at a police station she said she has morals.

I also was told I need to be more stern and rough I tried that and I get griped at and said she asked no such thing of me.

Im stumped and could use some help or advice.

I love her to pieces but it's almost like a back and fourth game I'm trying to be a better Dom and could use some advice.

[sp****]

it’s giving she’s enjoying stringing you along. you deserve better.

[ey****]

I think you know the answer

this relationship isn't right for you. Potentially not right for either of you.

if you're a year in and it's not better, it's not going to get any better. 

[su****]

She’s giving you hella excuses.

[Ra****]

This is above our pay grade. Get some therapy with the funds you’d use for the divorce, I suspect you’ll have your answer a few sessions in. ❤️

[Ro****]

Maybe start with not using the word (and I use the term LOOSELY) “finna”

[Da****]

It's been nothing but head games all year around and mentally I'm exhausted I feel like I'm just being used when she needs something there no communication no reciprocation and it's almost like walking on egg shells when talking to her about specific things.

I feel like it'd break her heart if I stepped away though.

[Da****]

I took her on a date last week and she stopped talking to me for a full day after and then rest of the week/weekend I think this relationship is toxic

[Ni****]

3 minutes ago, DaddyJ35 said:

It's been nothing but head games all year around and mentally I'm exhausted I feel like I'm just being used when she needs something there no communication no reciprocation and it's almost like walking on egg shells when talking to her about specific things.

I feel like it'd break her heart if I stepped away though.

Prioritise self, or youll break trying to hold her together. People should not have to put their own feelings aside to love someone

[Deleted Member]

Toxic af. Step away while you can. Some people just seek out/attract toxic drama - sounds like she’s one of them.

[Deleted Member]

I'd suggest you to get far away as much as possible from the people who gaslight you.

[ey****]

42 minutes ago, DaddyJ35 said:

I feel like it'd break her heart if I stepped away though.

it would also do her more harm in the long run if one of you doesn't step away from a relationship that isn't working 

[Da****]

I think I'm gonna have to talk with a therapist.

[Co****]

I have experienced women like this. Move on. Being in a kink dynamic demands impeccable communication and respect. She sounds like she is a circus performer in her own show, and you are just one of her spinning plates.

[Da****]

She ignores any kind of communication even boundaries and expectations topics

[mr****]

She is the toxic dramatic type and they can really mess you up theirs red flags galore and she’s stringing you along and sounds like it’s only good when she wants it to be I dated a girl like that she caused so much destruction in my life took years to recover walk away

[Da****]

I'm glad you did friend I'm talking to my therapist tomorrow.

I was being warned about it and it finally took me pulling my head out of my ass to realize.

[mr****]

I’m just speculating here but is she using her age and experience aginst you too control this situation?? You can do better

[Ch****]

1 hour ago, DaddyJ35 said:

I took her on a date last week and she stopped talking to me for a full day after and then rest of the week/weekend I think this relationship is toxic

It does sound like that.
You need to figure out if she's bratting or manipulating. Third option is mental illness.

If she won't accept conversations around boundaries and expectations then you need to set your own personal ones for yourself, especially if you've been together for a year at this point.

[mr****]

Good point I met with a woman on here that identified as a brat and it was really mental illness very unstable.

[aaron_qld_au]

2 hours ago, RomanVale said:

Maybe start with not using the word (and I use the term LOOSELY) “finna”

"Do you speaka any English!" 😆

[Vi****]

1 hour ago, DaddyJ35 said:

She ignores any kind of communication even boundaries and expectations topics

you know she's not going to change. why are you still even considering being in a dynamic with her? have some self respect and move on.

[My****]

This is why I don't bother with brats generally.

[Ge****]

You're the dom daddy in the relationship! Asking for help on how to move forward with her..... You're the Dom Daddy cos she allows you to be!!!. Grow a pair stop calling yourself a Dom go research what the role means and takes. Understand the concept and crack on...

[bi****]

I agree with what is being said by everyone else. This is coming from a sub. You need to put your foot down being her dom and tell her how things are going to be. If she can’t obey your rules she needs to be set free. A disobedient sub is more than a brat, she is trying to dominate her dom. A one sided relationship never works even when it’s not a dom/sub relationship.