Trying to move forward with my brat and make things actually official how do I go about doing so?

[ad****]

Maybe stop saying “finna” because it childish

[sp****]

5 hours ago, RomanVale said:

Maybe start with not using the word (and I use the term LOOSELY) “finna”

policing his decorum is not the topic of the conversation.

[ad****]

Saying that’s probably why she doesn’t take him seriously

[Ge****]

Id bend her over a table tie her legs ankles to table legs. Outstretch her arms and tie her wrists to opposite side legs. With my double headed cane pyt some manners on her

[co****]

Will tell you anything you want just ask me

[sc****]

Sounds to me like she is bipolar, dated one for 7 yrs, in the vanilla world, she was up and down like that

[my****]

Does she set the times when you can come by? It kind of feels like you’re the other dude.

[Su****]

She is Domming the Dom

[Ms****]

As ***ful as it may be, you need to make better clear boundaries for her. If you dont want the drama of all these other guys, dont put up with it. Let her know your expections, if ahe doesnt want to match you, then you know its not right or its not the right time. Give her a time frame and if she doesnt want to or cant make it. Let her go. Or be willing to compromise. Dom/sub can compromise.

[Da****]

I tried the choose me or lose me method before but she blocked me for a day then unblocked me the next awhile back and talked to my best friend about the situation stating she only blocked me temporarily.

[Da****]

It sounds like shes using you.

[Yp****]

As gently as I can say this, she doesn't sound like she's a Brat. She sounds like she thrives on drama and likes when things are exciting and high drama.

It feels, from reading this, like you were kinda hoping that the drama was an unfortunate happenstance of how you met and that once you resolved the problems, you would have a normal relationship. That just doesn't seem like a realistic read of the situation.

In any BDSM dynamic (yes, even Bratty/DDLG), limits and consent and boundaries are important through communication. If she can't talk like an adult about it at 46(!!), then either she has some severe developmental disorders that need to be taken into account before you can trust consent, or you have to accept she simply doesn't WANT to.

I know it sucks, but this really doesn't sound like a BDSM dynamic/problem, unfortunately.

Best of luck.

[Wolfy74]

I’m completely new to this all and even I think she is using you. You need to set the rules.

[Da****]

I've also come to this realization she only really hits me up when she needs something anymore doesn't wanna go out of her way like I do to make plans like I do and she's more focused on her friends then our so called relationship.

[Wolfy74]

Then you really need to put yourself first love. As it seems you’re putting all the effort into it, and she’s just taking you for a ride around the block.

[p_****]

Sounds like it’s only on her time when she needs someone around.. that’s not a real relationship or dynamic.. I’m sorry you’re going through that

[ey****]

reading some of your further comments

like, on one hand it'd be unfair to overall assess based on just one side of the story

but overall, whatever he side of the story is - this clearly isn't working for you; and won't.    If you're any form of pleasant distraction while she is going through a divorce, that is also likely to end once the divorce is done anyway. 

[Da****]

Thank you everyone for your kind words and advice.

[Deleted Member]

She's ages older than you, so at some point she's always going to feel more mature and more in control of the situation, no matter what title she has allowed you to have with her. It also sounds like she's not fully invested, making excuses and just wanting time with someone but doesn't have the guts to tell you because that will probably mess with how she's arranged things to work on her terms. Realistically I would stop trying to control the situation and instead offer her to set the terms for you

[am****]

She’s not really interested or not really available or ready. This seems very toxic and unhealthy and you definitely deserve better than chasing someone. You shouldn’t have to *** making a dynamic official.

Brat or not, this just isn’t okay behavior.

[Fi****]

Yeah, this is outside of being a "brat" she's manipulative and gaslighting you.

My advice would be to respect yourself and call it off.

Close to 5 billion women on the planet you can always find someone else.

A brat or sub that say they want domination, then pretend they didn't want it are dangerous. Get away from that asap.

[Hezzair]

Speaking as an older switch/sub, sounds like she is trying to take advantage of you. Move the hell on. First off, a woman my age who is looking for a Daddy dom is not likely going to realistically go for a guy your age, no offense. The age thing is against you if you are going for the Daddy dom vibe and an older woman. Just saying. Now, pleasure dom, not a problem. But Daddy? No. That needs to be someone close in age or older. Way Younger is too much of a mental stretch.

[Da****]

Yeah but she's only into younger guys says she don't date her age or older because they can't keep it up long enough to match her sex drive.

[mr****]

Yesterday at 06:39 AM, DaddyJ35 said:

It's been nothing but head games all year around and mentally I'm exhausted I feel like I'm just being used when she needs something there no communication no reciprocation and it's almost like walking on egg shells when talking to her about specific things.

I feel like it'd break her heart if I stepped away though.

I have found if someone makes it feel like walking on eggshells when you talk about certain things it’s because their lie and hiding things from you

[Ai****]

Drop her and run she is toxic. A manipulative lier who derives pleasure from driving you into emotional chaos! Find a little closer to your age and you'll be much happier and won't have a nervous breakdown trying to live your life around all her lies. RUN DUDE RUN!!!