Cant decide

[No****]

We are all actively dying technically… life is short. And i never plan to get married. It would be a miracle or maybe idk if you even call that a miracle. Anyhow. So do i go the sex buddy route? I dont want stds so i generally dont do hook ups. Agg what do
You call that in between state? Not friends. Friends dont have sex with each other. Platonic forever dating never getting married ? Lol. Monogamous f boy? Yikes

[iG****]

Non monogamous is a popular term Jay and SILENT BOB were hetero and we know Bob would... Some people get in thruples, some are in fetish families. There is a lot more available than people realize. Been there, done em all, usually as a guest. Confidence. It don't matter what you want, confidence gets you laid. Getting laid helps you learn to find the right person. First yourself, then the right person. Citation, I actually read the words of the Kama Sutra and 20+ years real Tantra.

[iG****]

Or, we used to just call them friends with benefits. Friends can get frisky without feels, if they know themselves. For me, I agree with Queen Margo from The Magicians. P in V ain't even top ten.

[Bu****]

Friends with benefits and casual dating are a thing. Not everyone wants a serious or marital relationship. You just got to find someone who is mutual with the idea of not talking a step further.

[Ja****]

Maybe it's an over simplification.. but we all got friends, that have a skill set we occasionally call up and ask to make use of.. a tech friend, a mechanic friend, a party friend, the mom friend that's your Rock.

That can be true, and a way to approach kink or sex in general. It's different because it's a 'skill' that is very personal, for both parties involved, and it puts on display the stuff we keep hidden.. and now, we possibly have someone who is accepting of us at a new level.. and that is something that will have to be managed..

Me personally, NSA means wrap it, tap it, pack it up.. if kink is involved, I personally don't do NSA, but that doesn't mean marriage.. been there, done that, have the receipts, want a refund.. it's usually a discussion had early on while seeing if we click.

There is nothing wrong with finding a few consistent FWB's or play partners, build an entorage.

[La****]

I'd call them friends with benefits. I kind of fell into my group of friends with benefits without actively trying. I now have a group that does house parties every couple months where we get together have a good time and then people start hooking up when they feel frisky. I'm hosting one of them next weekend for my birthday. Looking forward to having my all femmes orgy for my birthday. A decent number of us are friends still outside of sex/kink stuff

[Deleted Member]

Sounds like you want a lover, you can absolutely have a relationship with some one that is intimate and connected that doesn’t have to progress. It lacks the callousness of what can sometimes be found in NSA type dynamics. A lover allows for genuine care (imo you should care if you are sharing that kind of energy) without the pressures of being a partner. It requires a very honest emotional self evaluation however. Good luck.

[th****]

Just go with your flow. I didn't think at 25 I'd ever get married, that happened after 30, kid came along later. What I've found is that what I want has changed over time, as with those around me.

[an****]

Plan for it. Plan to be so incredibly excited to go to Target for no reason. Plan for checking off grocery lists to be a welcomed accomplishment. Plan for tomorrow's morning to be met by the same face you woke to every day for the last year and it makes you smile every time. Plan to see your partner undress and look at them like it's the first time you are unwrapping a gift on Christmas morning. You speak of the mortality of life and how we haven't much time. So live your statement. Strive to be the most beautiful version of yourself everyday and seek what completes you. Walk your path. Cast your net. You don't want friends with benefits. You want a partner. You want a companion. That's okay. Plan for that. Plan to get hurt along the way. Don't avoid it. Respect it. Learn. Set boundaries. Grow. Do you have a mentor/community/group? What do they say about this?

[drivesmewild]

It's called a play partner. Life is short have fun!

[No****]

37 minutes ago, anotherusername said:

Plan for it. Plan to be so incredibly excited to go to Target for no reason. Plan for checking off grocery lists to be a welcomed accomplishment. Plan for tomorrow's morning to be met by the same face you woke to every day for the last year and it makes you smile every time. Plan to see your partner undress and look at them like it's the first time you are unwrapping a gift on Christmas morning. You speak of the mortality of life and how we haven't much time. So live your statement. Strive to be the most beautiful version of yourself everyday and seek what completes you. Walk your path. Cast your net. You don't want friends with benefits. You want a partner. You want a companion. That's okay. Plan for that. Plan to get hurt along the way. Don't avoid it. Respect it. Learn. Set boundaries. Grow. Do you have a mentor/community/group? What do they say about this?

The best version of myself seems the free spirit. Like i am always winging it. Doing what feels right. Trying stuff. But when it comes to men i feel like it cheapens my spirit. Makes me less of a person. Dulls my shine. Its near impossible that the man compliments my already pretty awesome lifestyle

[No****]

6 minutes ago, drivesmewild said:

It's called a play partner. Life is short have fun!

Yeh but if u feel nothing for them and they do nearly nothing for u. It doesnt seem much like fun. As in 95% of men just want blowjobs and to stick it in for 2min whenever they want. They could care less if i find it enjoyable

[an****]

28 minutes ago, Nonnahs said:

The best version of myself seems the free spirit. Like i am always winging it. Doing what feels right. Trying stuff. But when it comes to men i feel like it cheapens my spirit. Makes me less of a person. Dulls my shine. Its near impossible that the man compliments my already pretty awesome lifestyle

Aim higher. You are seeking something. I hope you find it.

[Fi****]

"Friends don't have sex with eachother"

What do you think FWB means?

[No****]

16 minutes ago, FireInAFire said:

"Friends don't have sex with eachother"

What do you think FWB means?

Big fat i dont do it

[sa****]

I’m in a similar situation/ reflecting on this as well so I’m glad to read people’s insights and suggestions!

[Pa****]

I mean most people you start talking to will likely be talking to others at least in the beginning. If you talk long enough and are having sex you just have a discussion with them. Communicate your needs and see if they’re open to it, if they are, then you found what you’re looking for! If not, then you find out that they’re not what you’re looking for. Either way you moved closer to the buried treasure. I wouldn’t get too stuck in what to call them.

[Br****]

I’m polyam so it’s different. The people I involve with are all ENM at least and maybe polyam.

Some are comets who I just see at clubs.

One is a fuckbuddy a she hates the term partner even play partner.

A few I’ve dated.

And a couple are girlfriends who I see at least once a month, speak to most days and are now dating each other as I introduced them :)

[Fi****]

20 hours ago, Nonnahs said:

Big fat i dont do it

You just proclaimed that friends don't have sex with each other, which is false.

You meant to say YOU can't have sex with your friends.

At the same time you're asking "how do I go the sex buddy route" which is counterintuitive to what you're saying that you're trying to do.

[No****]

2 hours ago, FireInAFire said:

You just proclaimed that friends don't have sex with each other, which is false.

You meant to say YOU can't have sex with your friends.

At the same time you're asking "how do I go the sex buddy route" which is counterintuitive to what you're saying that you're trying to do.

I have just heard way too many ppl have stds and with my education know too much. As far as friends with benefits you are either friends or lovers just friends are just friends, also no sex friendship survives once u find someone. Its just a shit label. Its not a friendship also they dont care about your well being like a friend does. Theyre selfishly there to use you while they search for someone better. Cause they dont see u as good enough.

[No****]

9 hours ago, BraggiR said:

I’m polyam so it’s different. The people I involve with are all ENM at least and maybe polyam.

Some are comets who I just see at clubs.

One is a fuckbuddy a she hates the term partner even play partner.

A few I’ve dated.

And a couple are girlfriends who I see at least once a month, speak to most days and are now dating each other as I introduced them :)

Yikes

[Fi****]

44 minutes ago, Nonnahs said:

I have just heard way too many ppl have stds and with my education know too much. As far as friends with benefits you are either friends or lovers just friends are just friends, also no sex friendship survives once u find someone. Its just a shit label. Its not a friendship also they dont care about your well being like a friend does. Theyre selfishly there to use you while they search for someone better. Cause they dont see u as good enough.

You're wrong but I'm not going to waste my fingers on that any further.

You know you don't have to get married right?

You could just get your bf or gf and not get married.

Marriage is meant to protect someone when they're having a family and will be the main caretaker while the other person will be the financial/material provider.

If you can provide for yourself, and don't plan on having kids with whoever you're with; no need for marriage.

[da****]

Honestly, I'm young but I'm in the same boat. I think it's best to just look for experience wherever you like it, and eventually if you find a partner commit to that. If you don't, at least you had you're experiences regardless of relationships yk?

[Sl****]

One of these days a person will look at their status weighed against their past and realize how they’ve pi$$ed the best years of their lives away because they were too scared to say fuggit and enjoy someone’s company.

[No****]

Yesterday at 02:16 AM, Slave2WhiteWomen said:

One of these days a person will look at their status weighed against their past and realize how they’ve pi$$ed the best years of their lives away because they were too scared to say fuggit and enjoy someone’s company.

Youd have to actually liek someone to feel like you regret or lost something. Word. Men dont connect anymore than robots nowadays unfortunately