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Training questions


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Training is an aspect of BDSM that I don't quite understand, but would like to explore

What is the purpose of training? What kinds of things are people trained to do? What training methods are used?
(Asking for specifics from personal experience)

I like to train the sub to perform the things she wants to (submit). It is also like the „play“ itself, already.

Training is important as the submissive/slave is learning your likes dislikes etc. It also shows your skills in various settings. It depends on the end goal and on the submissive/ slave as to what they are trained for. There are many methods based on , again, the end goal and what is being sought to achieve. No disrespect meant but the question is a little vague without more insight. Each person is different so training methods are different. Some are visual learners, some hands on. It's your goal to train for a submissive that does house chores and such or is it just a sexual thing? What does the submissive/slave already know for basics? What type of Dominant are you? Are you softer or harder? What are you seeking? What is the submissive/slave seeking? There are many aspects to a question like this and there is no one straight answer as there at many aspects to this.

Training my brat that a certain way I grab her or a certain look means to back off the bratting unless she is wanting “harsher” consequences.

I think it really all depends on the dynamic, participation level desired, and type of serves wanted. For instance, in a casual dynamic, training may be more a role play element to enrich fun; whereas in a more lifestyle dynamic, training may be what teaches the slave their Owner's preferences in day to day behaviors, how to best represent them, pushing certain thresholds and experiences levels, even how to handle basic tasks like how to deliver a drink, wash hair, or any activity the topside wants them to handle. It might be teaching basic skills (handling emotions in a given situation, self management and restraint, or communication skills) or more directly service oriented tasks (like tea service, caring for Leathers, or advanced submissive displays).
For my dynamic, it's far more the latter: I train my submissives the structure/rituals/protocols, expectations, and skills they may need to serve me to the best of their ability in our daily lives.

in modern times

training is a form of dynamic where there is an end goal of the sub reaching behaviours/standards expected by their Dominant.  This could be protocol, etiquette, ***, anal, etc. whatever. 

It is not a required part of a dynamic. 

 

I’m gonna flip this around as a relatively new pleasure dom, as I think there’s a good amount of training new Doms could look at, including pre-care, boundaries, callibration for impact play and aftercare.

I’ve learnt a helluva lot just by watching and learning the comprehensive way the Master at my local BDSM club treats their subs and switches, including him giving feedback when other Dons are assisting him.

From my perspective (sub currently training) if you choose to be intentional then you also need to be clear, build trust form bonds. This happens with people through repetition, consistency, patience, expectation setting. I want to make him proud and happy and if I don’t know what does that, I can’t be expected to get it right.

I’m going to put it in incredibly simple terms. Bdsm training is different for every dynamic. But I think it boils down to a “trial by fire” method of seeing if both people in the dynamic can make a go of things. For the dominant partner it is them expressing what they need to be 100% happy in the dynamic. Showing their expectations and letting the submissive partner decide if they mesh with the wants, needs and expectations and dominance style of their partner. Also, seeing if they can receive in return what they want and need. Perhaps learning in the process to go outside their comfort zone. Push the boundaries and grow together.
For me personally, I’ve been with my Master for almost 3 years. I am still learning Him and He, me. We’ve also developed into a strong base of this is my best friend. His particular style is more formal. He has a set progression in his mind. I am still not fully collared. I do have a training collar that claims me as His and unavailable to anyone else. By my final forever 24/7 non-removable collar will not come until we are both ready for it. For us, it’s a serious as a vanilla marriage. I’m not in a rush. I am happy being with him and his.
I’m sorry I didn’t share specific training information but that’s not something I would share in public.

Training for me is to condition my Sub for what turns me on! However l discuss this beforehand and want it to be something she could come to enjoy as well! Example- Spanking. This has so many variables that the approach’s are endless. But spanking her most intimate parts isn’t something that usually happens. It takes time, patience and careful repetition to accomplish this! Starting with small light paddles, wooden spoons etc. and building from there! I also take the same approach when training my Sub for Sexual Kinks, such as Anal Sex! Most are very nervous and have anxiety about this! My last BG/sub never actually got comfortable with it! I respected her boundaries. One is not always successful.

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