Safe to start big?

[RamOddity]

I plan on buying my first sex toys, a thrusting dildo that is 9 inches and that's really thick. The thing is I'm a virgin still and wonder if it's okay for me to start that big, any opinions?

[Ea****]

Seems kinda big. I got a 7" recently for my back door, it's a tight fit but after a few minutes of easing it in I can take the whole length.

[on****]

Go as big as you can you won't regret it 😏

[Gi****]

No, please be gentle with yourself. I would start with something that helps ease the pelvic floor .

[Gi****]

A vibrator that you can insert is a great place to start. A lot of lube is necessary for internal use and exterior. Please don’t feel like you have to dive into the deep end. Take your time and work your way up.

[Gi****]

Don’t listen to men.

[Ea****]

Fair enough 🤷‍♂️

[Gi****]

Hey everyone don’t be creeps.

[pa****]

Go big or go home

[pa****]

Oh I meant in the toy sizes honey

[HierarchySociety]

As a professional opinion definitely not, always start small as because you are a virgin that could end up very ***ful. I would recommend the smallest size first then once that is done, you can work up to bigger ones but always take your time. You have plenty of time to experiment as it’s not a competition or a race. It’s the same for people doing anal for the first time. And remember to use water based lube on the dildo and ensure it’s properly cleaned as you don’t want any infection

[ne****]

Yes start big I did I got a 9” thrusting dildo that also squirt cum in u I love it

[Bi****]

2 hours ago, Girl6Knicks said:

We don’t need to be asking people personal questions about their bodies. Very inappropriate. Please refrain form that. That is so uncomfortable to read.

At risk of derailing the original question, I think you may have misunderstood what gibby1961 was getting at. He wasn’t asking, expecting an answer, it was a rhetorical question. How big or small is a very personal and important factor for the OP to consider when choosing an appropriate toy. You seem to be coming at this with a predisposition that because men don’t have a vagina they can’t have any input into the question asked, and dismissing any possible insight they may have. Let’s not be combative, and just give some external perspective that might help OP decide what to do.

RamOddity, I don’t have a vagina myself but I have a fairly expansive toy collection and a decent amount of experience using many of them with partners of various shapes and sizes. Some are good with more girth, some with depth, some with both, and some with neither. It’s very personal based on your comfort and patience level.

As Girl6Knicks suggested a smaller vibrator can definitely be a good option, and can be picked up for pretty cheap. The bigger thrusting ones do look like they would be a lot of fun, and if you are unable to make full use of it right away you can always work up to it (with Patience, Practice, and Plenty of lube!). Having some variety is nice too. You said you are buying your first toys (plural) so I’d suggest looking at some varying sizes so that should the big guy be too big to use right away, you have something else to get you there while you’re in the heat of it. There’s nothing worse than being all fired up and then having to cool off before you finish because your options aren’t viable.

Assuming you’re planning to buy online, if you have the option to hit up a local sex toy shop to see some of the options in person, most of the ones I’ve been to will be able to help you find what’s good for you and give some feedback on what seems to work, which ones are more/less effective. Any decent shop should be able to have this conversation with you, to help you find what works for you.

Another thing to consider is whether you are more prone to getting there from penetrative play or clitoral stimulation, or even a combination of both. “Rabbit” style toys could be a good option, as they tend to be smaller, but hit both. A Rose toy is a great option for clitoral play, I’ve picked up a couple for around $30cdn ($20-$25 usd?) and they seem to be an absolute hit!

I’ve purchased from in-person shops, online shops (pink cherry is great up here in Canada) and even off aliexpress with much success, although you’d have to pay very close attention to listing details. I can give you some links if you’re interested.

You might also want to make sure you have some good quality lube. Make sure to use stuff with correct pH for vaginal use, and no sugars in their formula. I have my personal fave, but it’s a bit of work to mix up from powder and took some science to get the pH balance just right, but it’s very inexpensive and turns out great.

Feel free to reach out to me if you’d like, this post is already SO long but I have put a lot of energy into my collection. I even started to sculpt and cast my own silicone toys. ADHD hyper-fixations are super fun.

[Gi****]

4 minutes ago, BigDadWolf said:

At risk of derailing the original question, I think you may have misunderstood what gibby1961 was getting at. He wasn’t asking, expecting an answer, it was a rhetorical question. How big or small is a very personal and important factor for the OP to consider when choosing an appropriate toy. You seem to be coming at this with a predisposition that because men don’t have a vagina they can’t have any input into the question asked, and dismissing any possible insight they may have. Let’s not be combative, and just give some external perspective that might help OP decide what to do.

RamOddity, I don’t have a vagina myself but I have a fairly expansive toy collection and a decent amount of experience using many of them with partners of various shapes and sizes. Some are good with more girth, some with depth, some with both, and some with neither. It’s very personal based on your comfort and patience level.

As Girl6Knicks suggested a smaller vibrator can definitely be a good option, and can be picked up for pretty cheap. The bigger thrusting ones do look like they would be a lot of fun, and if you are unable to make full use of it right away you can always work up to it (with Patience, Practice, and Plenty of lube!). Having some variety is nice too. You said you are buying your first toys (plural) so I’d suggest looking at some varying sizes so that should the big guy be too big to use right away, you have something else to get you there while you’re in the heat of it. There’s nothing worse than being all fired up and then having to cool off before you finish because your options aren’t viable.

Assuming you’re planning to buy online, if you have the option to hit up a local sex toy shop to see some of the options in person, most of the ones I’ve been to will be able to help you find what’s good for you and give some feedback on what seems to work, which ones are more/less effective. Any decent shop should be able to have this conversation with you, to help you find what works for you.

Another thing to consider is whether you are more prone to getting there from penetrative play or clitoral stimulation, or even a combination of both. “Rabbit” style toys could be a good option, as they tend to be smaller, but hit both. A Rose toy is a great option for clitoral play, I’ve picked up a couple for around $30cdn ($20-$25 usd?) and they seem to be an absolute hit!

I’ve purchased from in-person shops, online shops (pink cherry is great up here in Canada) and even off aliexpress with much success, although you’d have to pay very close attention to listing details. I can give you some links if you’re interested.

You might also want to make sure you have some good quality lube. Make sure to use stuff with correct pH for vaginal use, and no sugars in their formula. I have my personal fave, but it’s a bit of work to mix up from powder and took some science to get the pH balance just right, but it’s very inexpensive and turns out great.

Feel free to reach out to me if you’d like, this post is already SO long but I have put a lot of energy into my collection. I even started to sculpt and cast my own silicone toys. ADHD hyper-fixations are super fun.

But to ask a stranger about heir private parts is very uncomfortable and inappropriate. You can ask questions that don’t involve invasive language.

[Bi****]

18 minutes ago, Girl6Knicks said:

But to ask a stranger about heir private parts is very uncomfortable and inappropriate. You can ask questions that don’t involve invasive language.

He wasn’t asking to get an answer, he was framing it for her to ask herself. If he was asking, expecting an answer, then yes I would agree it’s uncomfortable, but it’s a very valid point to make for OP to use to make the choice for herself

[Gi****]

35 minutes ago, BigDadWolf said:

He wasn’t asking to get an answer, he was framing it for her to ask herself. If he was asking, expecting an answer, then yes I would agree it’s uncomfortable, but it’s a very valid point to make for OP to use to make the choice for herself

Nope still inappropriate

[FE****]

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A topic and request for information like this can often come across wrongly.

A few comments were removed because they were or seemed to be inappropriate and some because they appeared to be proposiitons.

We have decided to allow the topic to continue but please be aware,  ALL comments on this thread will now need moderation prior to being published.  Be patiant and don't post the same thing multiple times because you don't yet see your comment published.

[FE****]

3 minutes ago, Girl6Knicks said:

 

Nope still inappropriate

You are entitled to your opinion, as are the others (with sensible answers).  This is a discussion on an intimate sex toy,  some of the wording will inevitably by explicit by its nature.

[0P****]

I have used 7" one in my back door and it takes a while but I can fit it. I do not recommend going big straight away, take it slowly take it easy build up as you can easily hurt yourself. Last thing you want is to damage your insides

[Bi****]

25 minutes ago, Girl6Knicks said:

Nope still inappropriate

It’s a moot point now anyways, the original post seems to be gone so I can’t confirm, but I believe dude wasn’t actually asking the question in the way that you’re so worked up about.
For example: “Do you understand the concept of what a rhetorical question is?” In this example, I don’t expect you to answer me, I’m hoping that it will cause you to think about what a rhetorical question is, so you might better understand the original point being made which i believe was more or less “is the size of this thing you’re asking about going to be appropriate for you personally?”

Agreed though, there’s been a lot of gross dudebros trolling this thread, and men do, in fact, need to do better. I just think you went off on one guy who I think had good intention (and all men taking the collateral damage, with the “don’t listen to or answer men” comments) and maybe we should all take a breath and try to be a bit less emotionally charged. But also f*** those guys who are just being gross for the sake of being gross.

Last thing I’ll say on this, and this is directly related to the OP and her question: Be safe, be kind, be adventurous, but don’t overdo it.

[ex****]

Start slow I wouldn’t recommend to go so big.

[ey****]

No.

Start slow

Start small

Use plenty of lube

Trying to go too big too quick can do serious damage 

[0P****]

One thing I forgot to add. Based on conversations I have had with sex toy shop workers as well as reading online articles about toys is it should feel pleasurable not p@inful. You may feel discomfort but you shouldn't have p*in or bl@@d.
If you have p*in, slow down, use extra lube, you can never use too much. try smaller toys, and work up, if you have bl@@d stop, wait a few days/ week what not, for it to heal then try again slower and more carefully with smaller toys/ additional lube etc

[sp****]

I'd start with some butt plugs first. 9" that's quite a bit.

[vi****]

Are you entering him or using these on yourself?