The BDSM clubs community

[Ro****]

Hi, I'm opening this topic that probably sounds like a bunch of questions.

I'm a soft master and in my experience I have only practiced BDSM with my previous slave partner in private. I feel I really want to practice in "public" now, clubbing to the dedicated locations.

Can I please ask which is the etiquette we have to follow for these specifics clubs? What do you do on it?

Please if you feel comfortable, share your experiences.

thank you very much in advance

 

[Ro****]

anyone please? I would really appreciate any advice

Edited July 5, 2021 by RoyalNight

[ey****]

So. Generally - clubs and dungeon events do have slightly different rules but some things are common place

there might be some revisions in the learning-to-live-with-covid world but in normal times...

Most fetish events aren't really to any protocol - but - for example, you can't go to a Femdom event and play as a Male Dominant 

Play is generally restricted to a dungeon/play area

There will often be a dungeon monitor - follow their instructions.  If you intend to do any form of harder or edgeplay scene, run it past them first - they'll also then know what you're doing

Remember it's a shared space - other people want to play too.  Your scene shouldn't spill out onto someone else's

Try not to 'hog' equipment.  Again, other people may also be waiting to use something

There should be wipes provided - clean down the play area after use - you may need to take your partner out of the play area to go through aftercare

This is on the assumption you have a partner you intend to play with.

If you don't have a partner but are cruising.   

Go in with low expectations. Especially if people don't know you, picking up for play is difficult.

If you do get chatting to someone with a view to play, make sure it's clear what you both want, and don't want, from the scene.

Consider going to munches first, so people start to know who you are and to make friends. 

[pomonagirl]

That's awesome!! BDSM clubs can be great places to play, observe others' play, and to socialize with others!!

From what i have observed/learned, most Dungeons have different nights with different themes. Some are "General" (open for any sort of play within the clubs' rules), some are "FemDom" (only Female-lead play), some are Male Dom/female sub theme, and some are High Protocol, some are for Swingers & BDSM, etc. 

 

Each Club or Dungeon will have their rules/code of conduct and each night that they host will probably have different rules, too. For example: a night where it is open to the public might not allow sex, full nudity or alcohol. But on a night where it is only open for members they might allow sex, or different types of "edge play". 

 

It's a good idea to look at the event listing closely, and also look at the Club's website. There should be a Rules and FAQ section that will go over all the main points. And if you have any specific questions after reading through the listing and website you should be able to email the event coordinator/host for clarification/more information.

 

I also wrote a fairly fleshed-out blog here about different types of events and what to (generally) expect at them!!! Feel free to let me know if you'd like the link for it! :)

[Seedon]

Hello and thanks… I would love the link to the blog

[pomonagirl]

7 hours ago, Seedon said:

Hello and thanks… I would love the link to the blog

Thank you for your interest Seedon, i tried to message you but can't due to your filters :) 

[Ro****]

On 7/5/2021 at 11:33 PM, eyemblacksheep said:

So. Generally - clubs and dungeon events do have slightly different rules but some things are common place

there might be some revisions in the learning-to-live-with-covid world but in normal times...

Most fetish events aren't really to any protocol - but - for example, you can't go to a Femdom event and play as a Male Dominant 

Play is generally restricted to a dungeon/play area

There will often be a dungeon monitor - follow their instructions.  If you intend to do any form of harder or edgeplay scene, run it past them first - they'll also then know what you're doing

Remember it's a shared space - other people want to play too.  Your scene shouldn't spill out onto someone else's

Try not to 'hog' equipment.  Again, other people may also be waiting to use something

There should be wipes provided - clean down the play area after use - you may need to take your partner out of the play area to go through aftercare

This is on the assumption you have a partner you intend to play with.

If you don't have a partner but are cruising.   

Go in with low expectations. Especially if people don't know you, picking up for play is difficult.

If you do get chatting to someone with a view to play, make sure it's clear what you both want, and don't want, from the scene.

Consider going to munches first, so people start to know who you are and to make friends. 

Thanks for the advices but I'm sorry for my question, what are muches?

[Ro****]

On 7/6/2021 at 1:54 AM, pomonagirl said:

That's awesome!! BDSM clubs can be great places to play, observe others' play, and to socialize with others!!

From what i have observed/learned, most Dungeons have different nights with different themes. Some are "General" (open for any sort of play within the clubs' rules), some are "FemDom" (only Female-lead play), some are Male Dom/female sub theme, and some are High Protocol, some are for Swingers & BDSM, etc. 

 

Each Club or Dungeon will have their rules/code of conduct and each night that they host will probably have different rules, too. For example: a night where it is open to the public might not allow sex, full nudity or alcohol. But on a night where it is only open for members they might allow sex, or different types of "edge play". 

 

It's a good idea to look at the event listing closely, and also look at the Club's website. There should be a Rules and FAQ section that will go over all the main points. And if you have any specific questions after reading through the listing and website you should be able to email the event coordinator/host for clarification/more information.

 

I also wrote a fairly fleshed-out blog here about different types of events and what to (generally) expect at them!!! Feel free to let me know if you'd like the link for it! :)

thank you very much for all advces to you too, sorry I just have a quick question. I'm a master and I want to play with a female sub, can I find someones there or should I go to the club with a sub already? And eventually where can I find one?

[pomonagirl]

Just because you attend a club, it does not guarantee that you will find someone to play with.

Attending BDSM Clubs, Dungeons, Classes, Munches & other types of mixers/socials can be great places to learn more about the lifestyle and to meet people. But it is never guaranteed that you will meet a partner at one.

If you go alone it is best to go with an attitude of enjoying yourself, talking with people, and getting to observe people play. If you talk to enough people you might find a person that would like to do a scene with you!

Finding a partner can be difficult. But if you are active online, as well as in your local BDSM community, your chances will grow.

[ey****]

8 hours ago, RoyalNight said:

Thanks for the advices but I'm sorry for my question, what are muches?

 

[ey****]

8 hours ago, RoyalNight said:

I'm a master and I want to play with a female sub, can I find someones there or should I go to the club with a sub already? And eventually where can I find one?

the best thing is to always go with someone

There are ladies who attend events who are either looking for, or open to doing, play - but - they tend to be less likely to do it with just anyone

However, if you are familiar - like, you've already met, you got to know them - you both have an idea what the other likes - then - it might be rather than being just anyone, you are a friend.

It's important not to treat the scene in general as a pick-up-joint. 

[Ro****]

On 7/9/2021 at 8:05 AM, eyemblacksheep said:

the best thing is to always go with someone

There are ladies who attend events who are either looking for, or open to doing, play - but - they tend to be less likely to do it with just anyone

However, if you are familiar - like, you've already met, you got to know them - you both have an idea what the other likes - then - it might be rather than being just anyone, you are a friend.

It's important not to treat the scene in general as a pick-up-joint. 

understand absolutely agreed! Thanks for your advices

[Ro****]

On 7/8/2021 at 11:22 PM, pomonagirl said:

Just because you attend a club, it does not guarantee that you will find someone to play with.

Attending BDSM Clubs, Dungeons, Classes, Munches & other types of mixers/socials can be great places to learn more about the lifestyle and to meet people. But it is never guaranteed that you will meet a partner at one.

If you go alone it is best to go with an attitude of enjoying yourself, talking with people, and getting to observe people play. If you talk to enough people you might find a person that would like to do a scene with you!

Finding a partner can be difficult. But if you are active online, as well as in your local BDSM community, your chances will grow.

yes I understand what you mean and it make sense for me. I'll try to be active here in this community as much as I can, but you know, I'm an artist and entrepreneur and my life is so busy... however, I will, I mean I joint this community so ..