A Quick Guide to Visiting Your First Fetish Fair

Never been to a fetish fair but want to go? Not sure what to expect or how to even find your local one? We asked Molly Moore to give you a step-by-step guide to your first time at a fetish fair.

What is a fetish fair?

Fetish fairs are a market/event where multiple traders of a wide variety of BDSM, kink and fetish toys, equipment and clothes come to sell their stock directly to you, the customer. Fetish fairs come in all shapes and sizes. Some are monthly, some are bi-monthly, and some are just a couple of times a year. They all operate in slightly different ways and have somewhat different rules, so the most important thing when attending a fair for the first time is that you research what those are before you set off. Here's where our guide comes in!

Finding you local fetish fair

Many fetish fairs have a website or social media presence, so Googling 'fetish fair near me' is a good place to start. However, sometimes Google can hide stuff like this, or the fair has chosen not to have a website, so if nothing comes up, don't assume that one doesn't exist. Fetish sites like the one you're reading now or FetLife list events not typically found elsewhere. You can also ask around or try attending your local munch as they will know where might be your nearest and how to find additional information.

What should I wear to a fetish fair?

What to wear is a vital question that needs clarification before attending. Some events have strict dress code policies for wearing fetish wear, and depending on the venue, there may be other restrictions. Most have a no-nudity policy, while others say no jeans or joggers. If you can't find this information online, then take a moment to message the organisers.

Can I just turn up?

‘Maybe’, is the answer to that! Some fetish fairs you just turn up and pay on the door, but others may require you to purchase a ticket in advance. Ensure you know before you turn up.

What to expect when you get there

Expectations can vary as each fair is different from the next one. Still, you will find a series of market stalls selling all kinds of BDSM/kink related products from sex toys to whips, latex clothes, corsets and collars, plus numerous other fun and sexy things. You'll also find a broad mix of attendees from age 18 to people in their 60's, 70's and beyond who represent a diverse range of people from all walks of life with all sorts of kinks and relationship dynamics.

Fetish fairs are a safe space for many people to display their kink relationship with like-minded people, so you may see people being led around on a leash or dressed as a puppy or pet. Depending on the venue policy, you may see some nudity or partial nudity. Be respectful of this and everything else that you see.

couple looking at buying bdsm items at a fetish fair
You can discover a vast range of specialized kinky items at a fetish fair.

What if I see things I don't like?

If you see things for sale that make you uncomfortable, or people dressed or behaving in a way that bothers you, then remove yourself from the space or another part of the fair. As long as no one is doing anything directly to you, it's your responsibility to move to a different area if you're uncomfortable with what you see. Never shame anyone for their kinks.

Get involved

Like so many things, you get out what you put in. Even if you're a timid person, try to talk to the people you meet there. Stallholders tend to be very friendly and knowledgeable about their products, including the kink and BDSM world, so talking to them means you'll not only learn things, but you could also make new contacts. Likewise, many fetish fairs also have workshops or demos that run throughout. I highly recommend attending these as they're a great place to learn about all sorts of kink play and relationships.

Attend the after party!

Many fetish fairs have an after-party in the same space as the fair. Usually, the organisers pack the stalls away (or some of them) to make way for a play space. After-parties typically occur towards the end of the fair and can stretch into the evening. Again depending on the venue, there may be event policy rules about the type of play you can and can't do - and how naked anyone can be. Make sure you know what those rules are.

If there is limited space, the organisers may ask people who are not playing to stay in the bar or food area, and while typically it's OK to stand and watch people playing, if you're unsure, check with the organisers what the etiquette is.

Go more than once

The first time going anywhere new can be very daunting, and that's certainly true of a fetish fair. Make sure you get as much out of it as you can and commit to going back again because you'll get even more out of it the second time around when you feel more confident and know what to expect. The first time will be great, but the second time (and all the times after that) will be even better, and soon you will be a seasoned fetish fair attendee.